Thursday night I attended an event celebrating The Eva Longoria Foundation held at Longoria’s Hollywood restaurant, Beso. The Eva Longoria Foundation helps Latinas build better futures for themselves and their families through education and entrepreneurship. The cause was worthy, the snacks were great and the bathroom changed my life.
It wasn’t exactly the most exciting event I’d ever been to, but with tasty treats and drinks I’m not complaining. I prefer an event with a chocolate fountain, or a cotton candy machine, or maybe even one of those booths where you can turn your hand into a wax mold – but I guess not every event can be a Bar Mitzvah. They did have plentiful appetizers that were constantly replenished, so I probably would’ve been too occupied to have engaged in any auxiliary activities they could’ve planned anyway.
I was most excited to spot Dennis Haysbert, who I know and love as Pedro Cerrano from Major League, the awesome president from 24 and as the All State Insurance guy. There was also fantastic music being blasted by DJ Kris Bones, but unfortunately and as usual at most events, people weren’t much for dancing. Though with company present, I wish there had been.
Now, for the question you’ve all been waiting to ask: How did the bathroom change my life? On my last trip to the loo I checked myself in the mirror, grabbed some complimentary cosmetics, chatted with the bathroom attendant and headed out the door. As I made my way back out to the party all footloose and fancy free, the bathroom door bursts open and the bathroom attendant rushes after me and yanks at the back of my dress. Yes, ladies and gents, I had stuffed my dress into my underpants and was confidently striding back out to the party on a collision course with certain disaster. My life was changed in that I was saved. Oh, lovely lady bathroom attendant, you are my savior! Perhaps the true savior is my decision to wear underpants. But I always do, so I guess that’s not a good argument. Although it is a good argument to always wear underwear.
Either way, I was thrilled not to mar such an elegant evening for an honorable cause with my swirly underpants.