I was watching O (first letter basis for Oprah, that’s how tight our imaginary friendship is) interview Davis Arquette the other day (it was obviously 2AM and obviously a repeat on my TiVo) and he said his therapist once told him that “anger was like drinking poison and then expecting the other person to die.”
That’s a good thing to remember. After all, anger is an ugly emotion, but it didn’t exactly help me feel better the other day when I was hanging out with Jasmine, a girl who I think basically hates the whole world. Including puppies.
As we walked around downtown Austin, Texas, she commented on everyone who walked by. “Ew, look at their shorts. I wouldn’t wear those.” Or, “Who does that girl think she is wearing leggings?” Sadly, I could go on.
Remember Chernobyl? Jasmine was the human equivalent of that toxic disaster. Hanging with her was a giant time suck. Hearing someone complaining and judging nonstop can be absolutely draining, and in turn, complaining about her complaining seems to be counter-intuitive. You get the picture.
I’m not entirely sure why people feel the need to rip others apart. It doesn’t make you look better, it actually makes you look terrible. I believe that if you are that angry, you have deeper emotional scars than the happy person next to you and you have no idea how to deal with them in a healthy way. (For example, I use humor and mint chocolate ice cream instead.)
It’s like, I’m sorry but show me on the doll where someone bullied you until you felt as though you were unworthy of ever being a positive person ever again.
Another Oprah-ism (she’s my Gandhi) is, “Be responsible for the energy your bring with you.”
She’s right, you know.
Even if the person that you’re verbally attacking doesn’t hear you, that negative energy is still put out into the world. I know people are just trying to protect themselves when they’re judgmental of others for no reason but that doesn’t make it right.
I decided I shan’t stand for this!
For every negative thing Jasmine said, I tried to be like the good fairy, Merryweather, leveling out Maleficent’s evil spell in Sleeping Beauty so that the princess only slept instead of dying. I couldn’t really undo the negative damage she was spewing out but I could at least try to say something positive for each of these negatives.
“Those shorts are cute!” or “Leggings can be adorable!” I had a positive spin for everything that she said. I did the best I could and I suppose that’s really all anyone can ever do in this life.
Photo courtesy of Simon Strandgaard