Ladies, winter is coming up and we have to get ready. With the equinox just 5 short months away, what does the modern woman need to do to get ready for sweater season?

1. Start practicing with your parka. Wear it around the house, to a barbeque or to the beach. When a dude says, “You look hot,” say, “Thank you, this jacket is certified to minus 60% below zero.” Then wink. You know what he means ladies, right? Right?

2. Try doing everyday stuff with mittens on.
Like typing. Have fun!  E.g. ahudfnjk;afbdjfbjkls093u84urahlu = happy holidays

3. Eat gingerbread willy-nilly. You’re welcome.

4. Q. It’s the holidays! Calories don’t count, right?  A. Correct. You must adopt this attitude to successfully attain a winter steaze.

5. Fly some family members out to see you, preferably more than can fit in your apartment or house. Make them share towels.  Watch the magic as it happens.

6. Rock some Christmas tunes at work. People will love this. No one loves ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’ more than your co-workers. Play it loud.

7. Time for pajamas! You sweat at night? Too bad! You have to suffer for a winter body.

8. Festive sweater time. Get comfy in your sweet Cosby with X-mas trees or a menorah. Let everyone know what’s up.

9. SPF 1 zillion. Do it.

10.  If it doesn’t have a crust, don’t eat it.  All the best winter meals start and end with pie. Embrace this, now.

Well that’s all I have.  Attaining a winter body is a challenge, but with enough perseverance and ambition, you can do it.  I know you can.

  • Jessica Mahone

    This just completely made my morning! I train my body for winter all year long! Mmm…pie…

  • Beth Curry

    Judging by these, I have a winter body all year round. yay!

  • Sarah Newman

    I think I can safely say I’m a winter girl. The Phil Spector Christmas album works all year round and I’m highly suspicious of people who don’t understand pyjamas. Plus there’s always gingerbread ice cream for those unbearably hot days.

  • Caroline Anderson

    <3 <3 <3

  • Jessica Day

    I loved this.. and it made me miss Christmas/winter/not sweating profusely while going about my daily life.

    • Anonymous

      It’s great to read something that’s both enjoyable and provides paragtmisdc solutions.

    • Anonymous

      akh3W1 nibkqxxuadvd

  • Olivia Colsman Langford

    hahaha, make them share towels….!

  • Laura Mendez

    pie… 😀

  • Ruci Kafka

    winter is so much better than summer.

  • Sari Dewi

    “SPF 1 zillion. Do it.” i will def. do that, since i live in indonesia. um…

  • Mary Sizelove

    I love winter! Yes!!

  • Vickye Fisher

    Hahaha! Genius. All this time I thought I was a summer girl. Apparently not…

  • Kelly Cosby

    I loved reading this post on what’s supposed to be the hottest day in Kansas since 1984… never thought I’d say this, but WINTER PLEASE!


  • Breanne Fraley

    THis list made me laugh out loud! I love it and can appreciate it, especially rocking the Christmas tunes, eating gingerbread and and counting calories!
    Oh and the part about making your family members share towels.

  • Tati Barrionuevo

    It’s winter here in Argentina, and trust me, I’m a WinterGirl!

    • Carolina Sabate

      I’m in Argentina toooo! and I’m dying for spring to start!! ):
      although I do love me some snuggle weather.

  • Hayley Clifford

    In addition to all of these tips, I will be practicing lacing up my favorite pair of boots over and over again until I get down to less than 15 seconds. Quick lacing skills come in handy during the winter months.

  • Josilynn Reynolds

    I live in the mountains of Colorado, i am ready for winter as soon as its over! Don’t forget to buy those little clippys that go on your jacket sleeves…this is a must if your anything like me…i have 1 half of all my mittens. :/ Makes for interesting color combos

  • Alexandra Anderson Conrad

    I’m such a winter body. I agree with SPF Googleplex, and just staying out of any and all sun. I find that walking leisurely and running errands are an ideal fitness regimen, with hours of streaming Netflix for recovery time.

  • Heather Taylor

    I think I started training for winter in the womb…

  • Elina Tanaka

    “if it doesn’t have a crust, don’t eat it.”
    the best rule anyone could have ever come up with.

  • Carrie Cook

    I say do a Christmas movie marathon with some pals! A little Grinch, a couple of those crazy claymation ones (Frosty, Rudolph, The one with heat miser, etc), maybe the Christmas Story. Top it off with some spiked eggnog or hot chocolate, throw one of those fireplace videos on the laptop screen and get your winter-in-summer on.

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