TOP 10 TIPS AND TRICKS FOR A WINTER BODY
by Zooey Deschanel
Ladies, winter is coming up and we have to get ready. With the equinox just 5 short months away, what does the modern woman need to do to get ready for sweater season?
1. Start practicing with your parka. Wear it around the house, to a barbeque or to the beach. When a dude says, “You look hot,” say, “Thank you, this jacket is certified to minus 60% below zero.” Then wink. You know what he means ladies, right? Right?
2. Try doing everyday stuff with mittens on. Like typing. Have fun! E.g. ahudfnjk;afbdjfbjkls093u84urahlu = happy holidays
3. Eat gingerbread willy-nilly. You’re welcome.
4. Q. It’s the holidays! Calories don’t count, right? A. Correct. You must adopt this attitude to successfully attain a winter steaze.
5. Fly some family members out to see you, preferably more than can fit in your apartment or house. Make them share towels. Watch the magic as it happens.
6. Rock some Christmas tunes at work. People will love this. No one loves ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’ more than your co-workers. Play it loud.
7. Time for pajamas! You sweat at night? Too bad! You have to suffer for a winter body.
8. Festive sweater time. Get comfy in your sweet Cosby with X-mas trees or a menorah. Let everyone know what’s up.
9. SPF 1 zillion. Do it.
10. If it doesn’t have a crust, don’t eat it. All the best winter meals start and end with pie. Embrace this, now.
Well that’s all I have. Attaining a winter body is a challenge, but with enough perseverance and ambition, you can do it. I know you can.
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08.02.2011 |
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This just completely made my morning! I train my body for winter all year long! Mmm…pie…
Judging by these, I have a winter body all year round. yay!
I think I can safely say I’m a winter girl. The Phil Spector Christmas album works all year round and I’m highly suspicious of people who don’t understand pyjamas. Plus there’s always gingerbread ice cream for those unbearably hot days.
<3 <3 <3
I loved this.. and it made me miss Christmas/winter/not sweating profusely while going about my daily life.
It’s great to read something that’s both enjoyable and provides paragtmisdc solutions.
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hahaha, make them share towels….!
pie…
winter is so much better than summer.
“SPF 1 zillion. Do it.” i will def. do that, since i live in indonesia. um…
I love winter! Yes!!
Hahaha! Genius. All this time I thought I was a summer girl. Apparently not…
I loved reading this post on what’s supposed to be the hottest day in Kansas since 1984… never thought I’d say this, but WINTER PLEASE!
GINGERBREAD.
THis list made me laugh out loud! I love it and can appreciate it, especially rocking the Christmas tunes, eating gingerbread and and counting calories!
Oh and the part about making your family members share towels.
It’s winter here in Argentina, and trust me, I’m a WinterGirl!
I’m in Argentina toooo! and I’m dying for spring to start!! ):
although I do love me some snuggle weather.
In addition to all of these tips, I will be practicing lacing up my favorite pair of boots over and over again until I get down to less than 15 seconds. Quick lacing skills come in handy during the winter months.
I live in the mountains of Colorado, i am ready for winter as soon as its over! Don’t forget to buy those little clippys that go on your jacket sleeves…this is a must if your anything like me…i have 1 half of all my mittens. :/ Makes for interesting color combos
I’m such a winter body. I agree with SPF Googleplex, and just staying out of any and all sun. I find that walking leisurely and running errands are an ideal fitness regimen, with hours of streaming Netflix for recovery time.
I think I started training for winter in the womb…
“if it doesn’t have a crust, don’t eat it.”
the best rule anyone could have ever come up with.
I say do a Christmas movie marathon with some pals! A little Grinch, a couple of those crazy claymation ones (Frosty, Rudolph, The one with heat miser, etc), maybe the Christmas Story. Top it off with some spiked eggnog or hot chocolate, throw one of those fireplace videos on the laptop screen and get your winter-in-summer on.
Noo, please don’t remind me that winter isn’t too far away! I’m such a summer girl. I should move to LA for winters. Aside from #4-7 on that list, I apparently am not very good at getting my winter body ready. I guess I know what I need to work on now! But not for another few weeks. Let me enjoy the rest of my summer, okay?!
love this:)
I’ve been lurking on HelloGiggles until now, but this article was hit so high on the hilar-o-meter that I had to let the author know it’s appreciated
. Thankfully I don’t need SPF 1 zillion. Us Icelanders have naturally translucent skin – all year long.
SPF 1 zillion. Do it.
hahahahaha I love this so much.
All my friends are saying I’m late getting a tan and getting my bikini body…well ladies! Look out! I am gonna be rockin it come winter!
This is a workout I’m sure I could commit to. Let’s do this!!!
I didn’t see chocolate fudge on the list, which is definitely my secret for keeping a winter body. That, and skin so pale it is translucent.
Since I’m in Argentina, I can rock that winter body ta-day! Thanks for the advices!
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”
done. and. done.
Love this
Pale legs are cool even in the summer, as I’ve heard you say before, and I’m all over that. That’s a don’t start now, just don’t start anything but you & natural color ever! Also, hint from my anti-internet friend, check out chocolate gingerbread recipes! Life will never be the same.
Or spend your summers in Australia and have winter year round! lol
so great
LOL, I am not ashamed to say I have been rockin’ Christmas tunes already!!
Also, don’t shave your legs.
Shouldn’t there have been something about letting your leg hair grow and stop exfoliating?
Yes! To hold up our socks right?
JAJAA. LOVED THIS! shared it with my friends, then went bikeriding…is that illegal?
I love this! It is so hot right now that I am pretty much dream about winter all the time, but now I can start practicing!
I love this! It is so hot right now that I am pretty much dream about winter all the time, but now I can start practicing!
Yeay! I already have a pretty sizable head start on this!
I was just thinking I needed some eggnog the other day… I like how I’m not the only one!!
If I do that I will get fat.
Loved this! Made my morning!
aaaaaaaaaaaa
This is such a cute post.
I love #1… haha
might as well work on my winter body, still havent got it together for swim suit weather 2008
YESSS! My coworker rocks Christmas tunes all year in the office, it just makes me smile
wow, I love this! Strike one against the craziness driven by the fashion industry. Fun!
You’re preaching to the choir, Zooey. And the pie rule? Oh my God, YES.
Good post! Love tip #4. “Calories don’t count”
So true. In winter I love my body the most. I can eat cake without feeling too guilty, and if someone asks if I’ve put on weight (they’re b****s if they do) I can say “Of course not! I’m just wearing 4 sweaters and 2 pairs of leggings under my jeans” although it’s not true.
Sharing towels leads to herpes. Herpes is for life man, beware.