I recently discovered the phrase ‘If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel’. This, of course, would be an ideal situation but unfortunately, the reality is that stress is not a good thing. It makes us ugly mean girls.
Even thinking about how I’m going to stop being stressed is stressing me out. Here’s some quick how-tos on how to de-stress yourself on those days you feel like you might explode and fall out with all your friends.
20 Ways To Not Be A Stressy Bitch
- Watch a funny video or a stand-up comedian on YouTube. It’s physically impossible to be stressed out if you’re laughing.
- Have a cup of herbal tea.
- Listen to any Jose Gonzalez song.
- Punch a pillow. (Not a person.)
- Go for a quick walk.
- Squeeze someone’s hand.
- Change your mobile phone clock to be ten minutes early.
- Have a massage. Preferably by someone hot.
- Imagine you are lying on warm sand.
- Have a bath. With lots of unnecessary bubbles.
- Take deep, slow breaths. Maybe on your own though so you don’t look weird.
- Do a yoga session. You’ll be concentrating on how awkward it is, not on how shit your day was.
- Write something down and get it out of your head.
- Flirt with someone.
- Sharpen a pencil. Sounds odd but it works.
- Play a game. Like Tetris or something.
- Open a bloody window. There’s nothing worse than a stuffy office.
- Ring your funniest or most inappropriate friend.
- Say ‘Om’. Or make up your own mantra (or steal from the Spice Girls, e.g. zig-a-zig-aahhh.)
- Drop the F-bomb. Yes, swear. Loudly. That a sure-fire way to make you feel better.
Featured Image via remlaproductions.com