To love or not to love, that is the question. When I fall in love, I fall hard, I fall fast and I fall recklessly. Needless to say, I’m not the best at protecting my heart and, in turn, it’s been broken on hundreds of occasions. I’m not just talking about the heartache that comes along with a significant other – I’ve been heart broken by friends, parents, family members… even the homeless man in the West 4th Subway station (I’ll get to that later).
I think the reason why I love the way that I do is attached to how I was raised. I grew up very alone, desperately trying to please my parents—on one hand, my mother was very strict and had a bad temper and on the other, I didn’t see my father much so when I did, I obviously wanted it to be pleasant.
When you grow up in a household all alone and you’re in elementary school and you find someone that shows any signs of warmth, you hold on to that as tightly as possibly, not wanting to let go. Elementary school turns into middle school, middle school turns into high school, high school turns into college and college turns into work, but those emotions engrained from youth don’t evolve.
The heartache is always the same, just in different forms. Your so-called best friend finds a cooler friend, your boyfriend finds someone that will give it up faster, your parent finds someone they love more, the friendly homeless man that smiled at you that one day now just grunts as you pass—I could go on and on and on, but I think you get the picture.
Having my heart rattled so many times, today I questioned the purpose of love. Why do we even need it? It only ends in disappointment. Why am I going to keep putting myself out there if I just get hurt every time? It’s not worth it. Wait—Is it worth it?
While I was contemplating the importance of love, I was scraping the Internet for depressing quotes about heartache – you know, the usual… oh wait, you don’t do that? That’s awkward. Anyway, I came across an Alexander Dumas quote that I found impeccably honest and truthful. He said, “There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to life. The sum of all human wisdom can be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope.”
In other words, it is essential to love, for the heartache that comes along at the end exhibits the reason for living. While there is no real answer to how to protect your heart, one can only wait it out and hope for better in the future. Not only should one hope, but also make a conscious effort to live a happier life, regardless of the people in your life. If you make yourself happy, it is harder for someone else to break your heart. So you should love, but before you love anyone else, love yourself first and foremost.
i totally feel for you -,- x)
This is a great reminder to like-minded people.
Thank you!
I really loved this!
Love it! I have hope tattooed on the inside of my wrist. It’s what I live for.
Thank you very much for this article. I’m so going to write down this quote and read it when I feel the need for something to give me hope. Thanks again <3
I can totally relate, it took a long time for me to understand what “love yourself first” meant. It’s fascinating when you take a break from always pleasing others and cancel all your dates, turn off your cell phone, and really explore your identity. Confronting challenges (which women tend to avoid) head on helps you identify what your passionate about and what’s important to you. Once you do that it’s easy to respect and really love yourself no matter what other people think! Thanks for the beautiful article!
After having been on more than 100 dates, I know how hard it can be to get back into dating. But it will pay off some day! Right?
That was a wonderful article and an even better quote. Thank you for sharing!
I’m glad you liked them
I love this
Thank you
Absolutely loved this article!
Thank you!
Love this article, thank you. I suppose the best thing is to hold onto the ability to love, without letting those who don’t know what to do with it make you bitter.
Yes! I’m glad you liked it!
Lovely. Thanks for writing and share it. I grew up very alone too, desperately trying to please my single parent. My mother was very strict and had a very bad temper, unlucky, I had no father or other figures to balance.
“The heartache is always the same, just in different forms”, that is soo true… Everytime I try to be better, I keep on realize how it is still the same, just different forms and levels.
Though, I agree with Dumas, “Wait and Hope” are the essential formula of living. Otherwise, you have no reason to stay.
Again, thank you. I don’t know you, but I think I love you..
Aw, I am so glad that you enjoyed this!
This was wonderful.
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it