Dear Justin,

Are you doing anything this Saturday? I’d really like to chill with you, and I think we’d have a great time. I already planned out the day, so it’ll be pretty stress free for you, so you know, if you’re down, hit me up dude!

7:00 AM- Wake up and get pumped for big day out with JT.

7:15 AM- Sing ‘LoveStoned’ in the shower.

8:00 AM- I scoop you up in my mom’s Toyota Highlander; we crack open the sunroof and cruise around my town while discussing our favorite healthy snacks/Adele songs.

9:00 AM- Coffee and pastries, yum yum yum.

9:30 AM- First of many designated “Twitter-moments” where we both tweet about how much fun we are having. Here is an example: “@DangerCohen makin’ mems with @jtimberlake #DanAndJustinFunTimeBash2012” and then you would say “@jtimberlake havin’ da time of my life with my new bestie @DangerCohen #IHopeThisDayNeverEnds”

10:00 AM- Roller-skating in the Macy’s parking lot (biggest lot in town)…we will work on our roller dance at this time (shirts def optional, but like, I mean, are you gonna make me say it?)

11:00 AM- (Vitamin) Water break…then back to roller-skating!

12:00 PM- Olive Garden for soup + salad +BREADSTICKS, HERE WE GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

1:30 PM- Begin EPIC shopping spree

• Okay, so I say we do FEDORAS first, because obviously they are most important. Ideally we buy matching fedoras, but I’m also open to perhaps mixing and matching colors and patterns. What patterns are you passionate about?
• I think we can probably combine cardigans and skinny ties into one bullet on this list.
• Expen$ive ba$ketball $hoe$
• Messenger bags, baby
• Thumb rings? Is that a stretch?

4:00 PM- We pick up Gosling (I’m assuming you probably have his number). We hit the gym and look super cool on the elliptical machines. We high-5 a few times during the work out, but not too many times, like, probably just the right amount of times. I think that will probably be 7 times.

4:45 PM- After breaking a healthy sweat, we enter the sauna and discuss world affairs, BUT not for long, because after a brief yet really insightful lecture on the state of the current financial climate in the Eurozone by Gosling, JT will interrupt and say: “Whoa whoa whoa, Ryan, bro, let’s tone this down, let’s chill out this discussion…[singing] you don’t know you’re beautifulllllll.” BOOM spontaneous a cappella, falsetto, One Direction cover sesh. Ryan and I harmonize with you.

5:00 PM- Head back to my house for dinner… Mom’s making lasagna #winning. While it’s cooking, we sit on my bed and talk about our feelings, our fears and our dreams.

6:00 PM- Lasagna time!

7:00 PM- My dad drives Gosling home while we run through our roller dance one last time. It has to be perfect.

8:00 PM- We play with my dog for a lil’.

8:15 PM- The moment we’ve been waiting for all day… we do our roller dance for my parents. They love it, and consequently love me, too. Cool.

9:00 PM- Triscuits w/ hummus, or, well, hummus optional. I don’t wanna impose and assume you love hummus as much as I do and Toddlers and Tiaras marathon I DVR’ed the other night.

I’ve chosen to leave the night open-ended, you know, so like you could totally sleep over if you want, or if not, one of my parents can drive you home, as long as you ask before 11, because that’s when they watch House Hunters and go to sleep.

So yeah, if you can dig this, do definitely hit me up…I’ll be waiting.

Your bud,

Dan

You can follow Daniel Cohen on Twitter.

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