Teenage Wasteland To Date Or Not To Date? Mikaela Foster

I just started 7th grade. According to the internet, this is the most awkward and frustrating year. I  agree. On the first day of school, half of the boys suddenly started hating us, and the other half started drooling over us, and not in the good way. They’re all pervy. And they all want to date. I’m 12, I’m the oldest girl in the grade, and I’m one of the only girls who isn’t dating.

I have no idea what dating as a 12-year-old means. This is how i see it: Boys are broke, so I don’t count on him paying for my dinner or something because the only money he gets he spends on video games and Axe cologne. I shouldn’t have to worry about a romantic dinner anyways, he’s not going to be able to drive me anywhere for another 4 years and I don’t want to ride on his handlebars because I’m still taller than him by 2 feet. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to carpool with him and his Mom. She’ll most likely ask me creepy TMI questions like, “Do you have a blog?” or “What color is your room?” He’s a boy, so he won’t pick a place that I’ll enjoy for our date. That means I’m going to go to the laser dome every date. If I’m lucky he might choose to take me to a movie that I’ll have to pay for, but it will most likely be a gory PG-13 movie that will make me uncomfortable for lying about my age for 3 months about and also just uncomfortable watching in general. I don’t want him to think I’m a wimp so I won’t tell him I have a major panic disorder and am extremely scared of horror movies because then he’ll break up with me. If I stay in the bathroom for the gross parts, that might work, except for the fact that if I stay in too long he’ll think I’m pooing and then he’ll break up with me. Being the most awkward person in the world, I’ll probably say something stupid and he’ll break up with me. I think it’s weird and awkward to date this young anyway so I don’t think I want to date anyways. If a boy asks me out and he’s attractive and I say, “Lets wait until next year in high school”, he’ll break up with me even though we were never officially dating.

And if we’re not going to go out for our date, then would I go over to his house? I’ll show up at his house that’ll smell like a mix of socks, BO and Axe. I’ll awkwardly sayhi to his parents who are secretly video taping everything we do. After eating dinner, we’ll go downstairs to his basement. I’ve been to a total of 1 boy’s house before and it was for his 12th birthday party. There were 3 girls and 3 boys. His basement smelt so discussing and all they did was play Xbox and run into each other with exercise balls. If he thinks I’m doing that with him when we’re on a date then it’s over.  A REAL date would be him bringing me flowers and paying for my dinner that he takes me to, preferably Earl’s. He’ll compliment me every 5 minutes about how gorgeous I am. Then he’ll try to give me a good night kiss but then I’ll tell him I don’t think I’m ready to be in that big of a relationship and that’ll make him more desperate.

All I can say is it’s a good thing I don’t overthink things because then I’d be freaking out!

Image Via: katherineolivia.

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  1. As a 27 year old guy you sure seem to have it all way more figured out than me…. Christ you are making me think back to my middle school years… UGH! That was like the worst time of my life! Then again high school wasn’t all that great… College… yeah… college is where it’s at.

  2. Boys have no class these days! Then again, I started dating my husband in high school when I was 16 (he was the first guy I dated, but then again I only wanted to date someone interested in working towards getting married and he thought that was cool so he committed to it), and all he did was play video games and play his bass guitar in his basement, and he still does that (well in the living room now), so just to let you know. . .they don’t always change haha. They get smellier as they get older too, and fatter. . .but the love for them grows MORE as they grow smellier and fatter. I’m so in love even though he’s unromantic. I hope you one day find that. Just enjoy being a kid and worry about dating when you’re “OLD”. I don’t understand the dating game. I didn’t understand it at your age and I still don’t. Just enjoy being a kid and being friends with boys (and maybe those friendships will blossom).

  3. Mikaela – This post is so accurate. :) I’m seventeen, I haven’t dated yet and I am here to tell you that high school boys are no better than the ones in junior high. Because personally, I am looking for Cary Grant or Prince Charming and guys my age are too self-centered to bring me flowers, talk about something I actually care about or tell me every five seconds how beautiful I am. (Also, when you go into high school, I recommend staying out of guys basements, just as a general rule.) :)

  4. This is hilairious, Mikaela!

  5. I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16 too and I think it was good to wait. It doesn’t matter how smart you think you are when you’re younger than that, you just don’t have enough life experience. I am glad that I didn’t date when I was younger because I know that I am too trusting and vulnerable. Also, how long can those relationships last?

  6. I’ve only had one boyfriend (when I was 16) now I am pushing 20, it is not worth it to jump into dating. And I would totally challenge you on the “most awkward person ever,” I introduced a guy to my friends from high school that I was quasi dating, they all agreed that he liked me and such. Soon afterwards he stopped talking to me and now he has a girlfriend (this all happened within a two month span). This story is pretty much repeated for every guy that I “talk” to. Hang in there, boys aren’t worth it until college.. or later.. or….

  7. Pft, all you have to do is read what you wrote and make a decision based on that. 12 years old? I don’t even think I wondered about boys until I was at least 15 or so. Enjoy being a kid! There’s plenty of time for boys when you get to college, when most of them actually do start paying for dates and thinking about where you would like to go.

  8. Let me tell you. I found my perfect match in the seventh grade. But did I date him in the 7th grade? Nope. I hated his guts. Apparently he’s loved me since we were twelve, and when I said no to him when he asked me out, he cried for three days (or so his best friend said,) and stood out in 30 degree weather half naked because he wanted to numb himself from the pain. (He told me that.) I tortured that poor boy. Broke his heart. And I regretted not dating him for so long, but I was like you in the 7th grade, I didn’t want to date. But looking back now, I realize I made the right decision. If I had dated him then would we still be together now? Probably not. We went through crazy times trying to grow up enough to be together.. him being in a 5 year relationship with another girl and me crying every night in high school because I realized I made a huge mistake and I wanted to be with him.. Us becoming best friends online but being too scared to talk in person.. we went through so much crap to be together that when we were finally together, we realized that me torturing him and not dating him in the seventh grade was the best thing that ever happened to us. Because it’s eleven years later and we plan to never part. I hope that for you too. And you may have met your perfect match already. But I’m telling you.. don’t date him. Not yet. Wait it out. Relationships are too complicated as it is, don’t make it worse by trying to define what “dating” is at twelve. Because honestly all it consists of (or so I’ve heard,) is holding hands in the hallway and occasionally the movies. Grow up first.. Be a kid, teenager, whatever. Because if you miss out on being a kid and try to grow up too fast, you’ll regret it forever. And besides, boys are so immature at twelve, they’re such pervs right? You don’t need that. Being young is a gift. Embrace it. Good luck. :)

  9. LOL You sound like me when I was in 7th grade except I was head over heels for this one boy who never felt the same way. Anyway, you are right. There is no such thing as dating when you are in 7th grade. At least not in the adult sense. Kids still go on group dates right? So, just wait till you’re older when the boys are more mature and can handle your maturity.

  10. I didn’t date until college because I had an unrequited crush all through high school. Honestly, I don’t regret it at all. I’ve always dated older men and since you’re only 12, that’s not really a good option;) Try enjoy being 12.

  11. I dated a boy when i was in that grade we went to see drew barrymores movie home fries and he spilled his soda in my lap. 10 years later i checked out “The L Word” from him at blockbuster.

  12. Girl all I can say is be awkward, over think, because a guy out there is going to love all your flaws and he will be right. Right now Don’t think about dating or boys,( Yuk they are Icky at that age lol) focus on your studies and when you feel like its right for you to date then you will know~Stay true to your self. Remember, You have to kiss alot of ugly frogs to find your prince~

  13. Dating is so completely overrated. Just enjoy being a tween and hanging out with your friends! If you find a boy that you actually enjoy spending one-on-one time with and he enjoys it too, then date! If not, don’t sweat it and don’t feel like you should have a boyfriend just because other girls do. I know it can get so annoying for adults to say “enjoy being young,” but there’s a reason they do. You seem to have guys pretty pegged and I love that HelloGiggles features humorous and level-headed young women like you. Just watch out for hormones in a few years!

  14. OH my god. I love this and you are wicked funny. Girl, dating sucks! Wait as long as you can! lol

  15. “dating” at 12 is more about just “hanging out” with the opposite sex. Breaking off from the packs of friends and learning how to spend one on one time with a boy without FREAKING OUT. Then there is that electricity you feel when you accidentally touch knees when you are sitting next to each other watching a movie, and maybe sweaty hand holding and then an eventual kiss (if you are ready, no rush). Don’t expect any real courtship because you are both just learning and also the $$, time, transportation issue. Also parents like to keep a watchful eye to make sure there isn’t anything innapropriate going on (believe me, keeping the door open is actually a good idea in the long run). So your first date might be an crappy movie & a slice of pizza, but the excitement and lessons you will learn are priceless and make it a long easier the older you get when you do actually have to go on big time first dates. Also, boys do smell at all ages, but after college sometimes they learn to mask it for girls.

  16. Just take deep breaths and take your time. Being 12 is something you should enjoy. Don’t worry when your 15, 18, 21, and God only knows how much older boys will still be there to confuse you…I’m 21 and boys are still boys. Just be true to yourself. :)

  17. My parents didn’t allow me to date until I was 16. I think that was a little late, I was definitely ready before that. I’d say wait until the second half of your freshman year of high school, but avoid seniors (they’re just trouble).
    Like the post above, group dates are a great idea. You get to hang out with boys without the pressure of a one-on-one date. It’s especially nice if the boy you are interested in turns out to be not so cool, there will still be other people there to hang out with.

  18. I didn’t date in middle school for all the reasons you listed above! At one school I attended, there were only about 40 kids in my grade and I used to hang out with about half and we’d go bowling, to the movies, to pizza places, etc. It was a lot easier, you got to hang out with a bunch of dudes that you liked without having to admit that you like-liked them. Plus, if you didn’t want to do something, like see a scary movie, there were atleast a few other people who didn’t want to either. I highly advocate group dates!

  19. You are a smart girl! =)

  20. I’m 27 and I’m sorry to tell you this but sometime you don’t outgrow your awkward. You are still way awesome though and tons of praise for figuring out this early that boys are pervs and mildly retarded.

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