Tips for the Chronically Cold GirlMichelle Konstantinovsky

A dear friend paid a late-night (9pm) visit last week for a luxurious sampling of the finer things in life: Sleepytime tea and good-natured gossip. Swathed in my winter time best – head to toe fleece accessorized with a chic heating pad – I cracked open the door to greet my pal, slowly bracing her for the full-frontal visual she was about to get of me in my woefully unflattering cold-weather uniform. Much to my relief, my kindred spirit stood before me enveloped in no less than four sweaters, a scarf, hat, gloves and the ultimate necessary evil: Uggs.

We, and millions of other girls around the world, are what you would call Chronically Cold.

Lest you think this malady is but a ruse for male attention or a manipulative attempt at cuteness, think again. Chronically Cold girls are suffering. As my friend so eloquently put it, “Being cold is like an allergy I always have to think about.” We don’t want your cuddles or your pity. We just want to not be cold.

So to you, my fellow frost-bitten sisters, I offer some tried and true tips for maintaining adequate body temperatures this winter. For even though some of us live in the deceptively designated “sunny” California, we can’t feel our frozen toes buried deep within our shamefully hideous, mercifully cozy Uggs.

1. Baths

There simply aren’t enough words in the English language to hail the brilliance of baths. Submerging your entire icy body in a vat of steaming water is the only sure-fire method I know of to restore circulation to all extremities. Frothy bubbles and aromatherapy candles are entirely optional—the real appeal is scalding your skin thoroughly with the blessedly boiling (maybe not literally—that’s how accidents happen) water. Sadly, I’ve only recently come to appreciate the true value of bath time because my sad little studio accommodates nothing more than a tiny shower. Your sympathy is appreciated.

2. Hand warmers

If able-bodied, average-temperatured people tend to jump back in horror when you shake their hands, then you know the isolation of Cold Hand Syndrome. Nothing will change your life quite like hand warmers. These little air-activated, pocket-sized pieces of heaven are potentially intended only for extreme skiiers and the like. No matter. Get yourself to Walgreens, rip open the packaging and hold on for dear life. The best method is to insert the warmers into your gloves and prepare for hours of toasty goodness. Is this what proper circulation feels like? Divine!

3. The Amish Fireplace

I didn’t believe my mom when she excitedly relayed the details of her newest infomercial find: a portable fake fireplace made by the Amish! Err, I had been under the impression that those kind people frowned upon electricity. What a fool I was. The Heat Surge actually houses a “Roll-N-Glow” electric fireplace in an “Authentic Amish Crafted Premium Wood Mantle.” In any case, it looks cool and gives off a steady stream of lukewarm air that in no way replicates the fiery heat of a real log, but can convince your sad, studio-dwelling brain otherwise in a pinch. Unfortunately, your marshmallows will remain unroasted, so don’t try.

4. Hot water bottles

Nothing will more effectively and efficiently make you feel like you’ve prematurely reached those golden years like a night at home spent clutching a hot water bottle in bed. But old is the new young, so embrace your newfound elderly persona and just be thankful that she’s warm. My Chronically Cold friends swear by electric blankets and other glamorous heating options, but I really appreciate the old-school charm of the hot water bottle. Simple, unpretentious and it gets the job done. Now go make yourself some Sleepytime tea and have yourself a party that’s practically tropical!

Image via Strapya World

comments

Please help us maintain positive conversations by refraining from posting spam, advertisements, and links to other websites or blogs. we reserve the right to remove your comment if it does not adhere to these guidelines. thanks! post a comment.

  1. I love my heated mattress pad! It allows me to set my side of the bed much warmer than my husband’s side. It definitely helps with the coldness!

  2. If you acquire Raynaud’s syndrome then everyone can actually see how cold your hands and feet are because they turn white or purple in a very obvious way. So, although it is not the greatest thing to have a syndrome, at least people can see how cold I am. haha

  3. I think this article was written for me!!! Thanks for writing this :)

  4. It was bad enough before, but since becoming single it’s worse. And I can’t afford the $300 electric bill. Southern AZ is cold in the winter. I like 84 degrees. Starting in Nov., living by myself I practically live in the tub, to include taking my dinner and my book in with me.

  5. I am a guy, but I am enthralled with Isotoner leather driving gloves… for driving. Would you believe I’m NOT 50?

  6. Sadly “The Heat Surge” looks like this is a less than quality product by all the reviews on amazon. It’s not quality made, and does not put out very much heat to help truly warm up a cold girl. Buyers be ware and check reviews before you settle on a heater.

  7. my feet are constantly cold…so cold in fact that i can still feel the chill through several pairs of socks. i’m currently in bed with my feet underneath a hot water bottle!

  8. My husband laughs at me! Until I touch him with my icy toes. Hot things are too hot too. He likes really hot showers, but they are too hot for me! We went out to dinner the other night and I warned him that my fries were hot when he grabbed one. He popped it into his mouth like it was no thang and scoffed at me for thinking they were hot.

    Oh well. I’ll just curl up in my huge comforter and snuggle up with our toddler :)

  9. I, too, am chronically cold! No one understands how difficult it is to buy shoes, for example, that can accommodate two pairs of socks or the three layers I wear on top. I live on the south coast of BC; it is not I live in a frigid environment by any means! *Really cold* here is -4C /25F (we’re precious here in Lotus Land), and I am so very grateful for the heated seats in my car. Every night, I preheat my flannel-encased bed (pillowcases, duvet cover, bottom sheet and pj’s) with a heating pad that I then employ on my chilly limbs. With all the work us chilly chicks go through to stay warm, you’d think we’d be warmer!

  10. i just recently discovered the wonder and joy of a hot water bottle. another tactic i use to warm up that always work is playing a round of dance central ( or just having an impromptu dance party). dancing around is one of the best ways to warm up from head to toe. :)

  11. What is the point of a fireplace in which you can not twiddle your fingers over the flames, or light things on fire like marshmallows…
    Either way I love the glove/hand warmer idea. Sounds good for the car (in which my hands are always cold but I can’t put them in my pocket). :o)
    Also the hot water bottle idea sounds great idea to warm up the bed before ya get in-it. Maybe put it in before your bath.

  12. I am constantly cold. I work in an office that makes everyone else want to die because it’s so hot, and i LOVE walking in because it feels like a warm hug. My feet are constantly cold, and I wrap myself up in blankets in the middle of summer. You know me so well, and you are singing my song!

  13. I am cold in Hawaii. Ugh. And pretty sure this is how Uggs were named.

  14. “We don’t want your cuddles or your pity. We just want to not be cold.” — SO TRUE!!!