This Week, the World is Going to Live Like a CatMaria A Hernandez

A picture of The Evil One.

My cat’s name is Sebastián.

My sister and I, drove to the outskirts of town in a crappy car, in the rain, to get him. I risked my life.

What did I get in return for giving Sebastián a loving home where he is well-cared for and treated like a king? Nothing. He is a mean kitty. That might be a bit of an exaggeration. A more appropriate adjective is probably “temperamental.” One moment he’s being a sweetie and, the next, I’ll have a monster clawing at my hand.

One of my life goals, was to have a fat, mean Siamese cat as a pet (a la Lady and the Tramp). In my mind, my cat was going to be a snob to everyone…except me. I was picturing a Lucifer (the cat from Cinderella) situation. It actually upsets me that  can’t I get Sebastián to do my bidding. Animals can act like people, right?

The Evil One is napping.

My cat is mean to everyone, that’s how he rolls. I thought that maybe it was a cat thing, but no, my friends’ cats are so nice! They will actively cuddle with their owners. Apparently, my cat is defective.  Assuming my cat is happy, he should be nice, right?

Which brings me to my point, how could someone living such a cushy life be so mean? If I lived like a cat, I would be in heaven. All I would do is: sleep, eat, go to the bathroom, eat and sleep some more.

I feel like being a cat is one of the most stress free lives possible (well, a cat living in Sebastián’s situation). Can you imagine  the World living the life of cat?

1. Well, nothing would ever get done. There’s only so much time in the day to fill out expense reports, and sleeping 15 hours a day doesn’t leave room for a lot.

2. Friends? What are these “friends” you speak of? Living like a cat would definitely cut down on socializing time.

3. I’m assuming that since everyone would be living like a cat we’d run out of necessary staples, like food, quickly. Farming takes up a lot of time.

4. Oh man, our sleep schedules would be so out of whack. Waking up at 4pm, FTW.

Obviously, there would be some unfortunate consequences to all of us living like cats. I, for one, don’t want to run out of food, but the first few months would be glorious. I might have to invest in a memory foam mattress (or a really awesome bed) to get the most out of my cat-like life, though.

Okay, well, maybe living like a cat would screw up my life. Bills do need to be paid after all, and it’s not a good idea to isolate yourself. I have an alternate solution: live like a cat one day a week. Besides, you know, being a temperamental little shit, Sebastián does seem to be relatively stress-free. That’s what I’m guessing because someone who’s stressed out doesn’t just let themselves drop wherever they please to take a mid-day nap (napping is the absolute best).

I want to be a cat (for a day). Who’s with me?! Also, does anyone else have a problem with a mean pet?

Images via Maria A. Hernandez

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  1. I grew up with a temperamental Siamese. He lived to be 23 years old! It wasn’t until we were older (both of us!) that he sort of mellowed out and was a lot less cranky. Although, for all his crankiness, he never EVER missed an opportunity to console me when I was sad or having a breakdown. No animal I’ve had since has been quite as good at that as he was. So, just take the bad with the good :)

  2. HaHa! I’m only laughing becaue I used to have a cat named “Lucifer”. He was the greatest kitty ever. On a side note, even though he was tri-coloured, he was, of course, a male (those that know a lot about cats know what I’m talking about when it comes to colour). Anyway, he was the greatest kitty ever and I know he would love my three year old son. Unfortunately, my boyfriend (at the time) and I had to let him go. I had a very spectacular friend who paid for his medical bills and found (what I’d like to think) the most amazing home for him. She asked if we wanted to meet the “new owner” and I told her “no, no one will ever be good enough for my Lucifer.” She completely understood and picked him up from us. I still miss him to this day, but I know he’s in good hands. (oh yea, btw – his current owner had just lost his beloved kitty to cancer and paid everything to try and make her better. I was pregnant, didn’t have the extra money to spend on his health issues, and only wanted the best for Lucifer. The only reasons I agreed to it was because, of course, I trusted my good friend, and the fact that he spent a ton of money to try and make his “baby” better.) Anyway, even if your kitty is mean, that’s who they are and love them for them. Even if Lucifer had been a meany, I would’ve, no doubt, felt the same about him. They’re just like us. Depending on how you’re treated (whether it be the past or present), you’re going to act accordingly.

  3. “temperamental” is a classic siamese trait. and while many siamese can be lovable, social, “normal” cats, most of them will pick one person to cling to and be either indifferent about everyone else, or hate everyone else. or, reversely, they will be overly aggressive and demand love and attention from everyone who crosses their path. but it is not uncommon for a siamese to be “bad.” how old is your cat? a lot of siamese will calm down a bit once they hit around five years old, some sooner than others.

  4. Cats are the best animal ever, and as long as you love and care for Sebastian, there is nothing to be done about evilness.
    http://fannatabulous.tumblr.com/
    @AnnaStarMoon

  5. I think it’s a Siamese thing, I have one and she is pretty much the same way. Her circle of love for me is so big that it crosses over into hate sometimes.

    She is also very particular about who she likes, but I know I am tops in her book. I would never trade her sassy attitude for a boring “nice” cat.

  6. I feel you, girl. He’s a very handsome kitty, at least!

    I think you’d enjoy this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M

  7. “In my mind, my cat was going to be a snob to everyone…except me. I was picturing a Lucifer (the cat from Cinderella) situation.” LOVE.

  8. Weekends are my days to be ‘cat-like’. I’ll sleep till noon. Bath. Eat. Watch some TV. Take a nap. It’s great.

  9. Usually a “mean kitty” is due too some underlying illness or boredom.
    I think he should pay a visit to the vet and get all sorts of tests and vaccinations.
    My Charlie use to be mean to his other owner…Besides the fact I found out that he has allergies and has to take medications, I believe he use to be bored. He’s the most loving being I know now.

  10. Was your kitty traumatized before you had him? Sometimes that could lead to bad temperaments.I have a kitty that was teased a lot by kids when it was a kitten and has always been unsociable with almost anyone ever since. But my other cats are all sweet as can be.

    • You know, I think the person that we got him from might have lied and told us he was older than he really way. I think he may have gotten taken away from his mom too soon i.e. some behavior issues. I may have exagerrated a bit though, he has gotten better, lol.

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