This Week, The World Is Giving Up On Beauty

Let’s talk about waxing.

Last week, I ripped some unsightly hair off my face using wax. The problem was that I’d forgotten how bad it hurts. Especially, when you’re working on your upper lip area (I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed about admitting to my mustache problem).

It was awful. I just sat there, (after the first few minutes of trying to rip the wax off my face), with my eyes watering (AKA crying). There’s no going back after you put that hot wax on. Literally, there is no way of taking it off without causing yourself pain. It’s not like you can re-melt the wax while it’s on your face and then wipe it off. Isn’t that a horrifying thought? At least with bleach you can wash it off and stop the (mild) pain.

While I was sitting there trying to convince myself to “just go for it” I thought about all the painful things women do for beauty. Sometimes, even washing your face sucks. Ever try some of the really concentrated cleansers that are like 10% benzoyl peroxide? It burns, not just your skin, but the inside of your nose. But since you don’t want acne, it’s worth it, sort of. Accutane is a nice treatment too. You get rid of acne forever, but you also get to have constant eczema for six or so months. Ooooh and what about those cuts that sting like there’s no tomorrow that you get from shaving? Delightful.  I just use wax on my face but, obviously, it’s used for lady bits as well, which is a thought that I can’t deal with. I know they use numbing creams or whatever, but damn, I am not willing to risk that pain.

Another good example are those liquid cleanse diets. I know that they’re supposed to be good for you and aren’t actually detrimental to your health (unless you go overboard, of course), but I’m not willing to go for an extended period of time without solid food. Food is one of the most exciting parts of my day.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, what if all of us stopped doing all these painful and unpleasant things to ourselves?

1. Cookies, cake, Panda Express, In-N-Out, ice cream, pizza pockets, apple turnovers and the list could go on and on. I like thinking of all the delicious things I could eat… if it wasn’t for the fact that they would clog my arteries. Screw being skinny, I just want to have a healthy heart and avoid diabetes.

2. Salons would not be thrilled if all of us stopped caring. Think of all the profits they would lose on mustache removal appointments (I can’t be the only one with this problem).

3. I, and you too, would save so much money. I spend way too much on stuff to keep myself presentable. I could spend the money I saved on this Marc Jacobs bag that I have my eye on.

4. Time-wise, can you imagine? I’m not advocating being unhygienic here, but what if all you had to do was the bare minimum to not be gross? I want to be cute, but that takes some effort. Effort that, sometimes, I’m not willing to put in.

Maybe it’s because I’m still feeling the sting of waxing, but my little incident made me reconsider my vanity. It’s a struggle about how far I’m willing to go and what will cause me the least amount of discomfort.

On a separate, but related, note: Did you guys know that Kim Kardashian lasered her hairline so that it would be even? I did not even know that was possible. When I found out, it made me think of Mean Girls when they’re all looking in the mirror and one of them (Gretchen Wieners?) is like, “My hairline is so weird.”

Image via Shutterstock 

  • Sara Wallén

    I have a moustache, and quite a lot of eyebrow. Sometimes, I attack both myself. Sometimes, I can’t be bothered.

    Lately I’ve felt the latter – having let my eyebrows and moustache go, I am looking at my face and still thinking it looks OK. I have short hair, as I haven’t the time and energy to deal with long hair.

    I looked much like this when I met my boyfriend, who still considers me pretty, and at times sexy.

    You don’t have to do it, you know? Cute doesn’t mean hairless.

  • Rebecca Kennedy

    Got myself a unibrow that seems to bother no one but me. I always feel better when I get my eyebrows done, just because I hate seeing the monsterous unity of my eyebrows. I’m fairhaired so it’s only when it catches the light is it even that noticable. I feel blessed to be fairhaired, because I know it could be alot worse :/ upper lip hair isn’t noticable, arm hair isn’t noticable, and I do take some liberty on not shaving my legs every now and again…

  • Becky Swearengin Eakin

    Here is what I do not get: Where did I get all that time every morning to shave daily, blow dry, style and apply make-up? I mean EVERY DAY! I am just dreaading the warm weather requirements of shaving my legs and pits and lady bits. Winter is so blissful that you can get away without these beauty regimins on a daily basis….Sigh….

  • Gea Marín

    I’m really glad that I’m lucky enough as to don’t have much body hair, just some on armpits, lady parts, and legs. I don’t have much hair on my legs, but I decided that I couldn’t be a woman without waxing them once… worst decision EVER -it hurt like hell! it hurt so much that I didn’t try to wax the other one and kept on shaving them since.

  • Rachel Lam

    ARGH body hair and active sweat glands are the greatest banes to me. Particularly, armpit hair that grows back before you can say ‘armpit hair’, and just perspiration, which then leads to acne growth and clogged pores, leading to the need to go for facials.

  • Laura Allen

    haha this is so true. Yeah, it’s hard being a women, but the happiness I feel when I feel like I look my best far out ways any physical pain or time lost in the mornings getting ready. For me it’s totally worth it just to feel good about myself.

  • Pauline Dao

    Well, you know the saying, it hurts to be beautiful. Literally. People have been doing this since, like, forever (Chinese women foot-binding, the list goes on and on), and look what we’re willing to put ourselves through to fit society’s standards of physical attractiveness. I know that people have been stopping nowhere for beauty, and am pretty sure will continue to until the end of time.

  • Frankie Zoe Leinbach

    I have a weird hairline. It’s been referred to as “prominent” ,”interesting”, “vampire- ish”, and also “male pattern baldness”. I have dark brown hair and a crazy widow’s peak that reminds me of Eddie Munster, and I always wished it would go away. But then one day a girl told me she’d always wanted one because it makes a woman look sophisticated and glamorous. And you know what? I agree.

  • Elizabeth Barrett

    laser hair removal! That’s how I rid myself of my “mustache”. Yes, expensive but worth it not to have hair on my face ever!

  • Alex McKelley

    Every time I shave my legs I end up with these giant, three inch long gashes all over that heal into gross purple scars. I’ve decided that sometimes just skipping that extra day of shaving and embracing a little leg hair (I’m blond, so it’s not even too noticeable unless I’m outside…which is basically never) is actually a lot better than shaving daily, or even every other day. I HAVE HAIRY LEGS AND I’M (sometimes sort of) PROUD!

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