Once upon a time, there was a fair-haired girl who fell in love with an (emotionally) available guy with perfect hair and they lived happily ever after. Nope, that wasn’t me, but it sounds nice, right? No no, I, like many others, in times recent have happened upon the road more often traveled…girl falls in something resembling love with the guy with perfect hair at the wrong time and under heavy circumstances. I blame my blind optimism… don’t you?
Now, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve all been there at one time or another. He broke your heart, she left you for some other dope. He couldn’t see himself marrying her, she couldn’t trust him. So what do you do when it’s done? How do you get happy despite the crickets between the two of you? Well, take 24-48 hours, cry if you’d like, get the favorite food of your choice and indulge. Let yourself go. Then, get up and focus. Now I am by no means an expert, but I am a quick study and always appreciate a good list. So here are some “DO’s” and “DON’Ts” of the humble beginnings of moving past that relationship.
DON’T listen to sad/sentimental music. For me, this includes, but is not limited to, the following: The Avett Brothers, Trampled by Turtles, Adele (in my opinion, no one should be listening to Adele unless actively taking Zoloft), or the first half of the White Stripes’ Under Great White Northern Lights. Also, by no means should you listen to Mumford & Sons, unless you want a good cry, then by all means, skip the mascara and put “White Blank Page” on repeat.
DO keep busy, preferably with activities of a positive nature that do not lead to impaired texting. Keep busy, whether that means cleaning, cooking, baking, being nice, spending loads of money on stuff you don’t need, writing a letter, writing a blog or becoming your very own Taylor Swift.
DON’T be an emotional cutter. You know what I’m talking about. Reading old texts. Looking at pictures of the two of you when you were laughing hysterically about something that was way funny at the time. Checking up on him or her via social media, agonizing over meaningless/ridiculous check-ins and retweets. Side note: Please spare us your thinly veiled posts because trust me, errrbody knows what and who you’re talking about when you write those “emotional” phrases. #absurd
DON’T get a haircut. I cannot tell you how many girls (and guys) I have seen make this tragic mistake. Go into the salon whilst stressed over a relationship and you’ll most likely leave looking like Nick Nolte.
DO sleep. If you can’t, take something. Melatonin is a favorite in my circle. Bloodshot eyes are not flattering and only cause friends and co-workers to stare at you awkwardly and then ask questions like “Rough night?” or “Feeling okay there, Champ?” If you do find yourself in that position, don’t roll your eyes and yell profanities at them like you may want to…just smile and drink your coffee.
DON’T eat (a lot of) bad food. You may be heartbroken but eating that #5 with cheese and large fries at 1 am will only hurt your heart and hurl you in the running for the next season of “The Biggest Loser.” Love the show, don’t want to be the show. Eat good food and treat yourself to chocolate. And wine. Those two, in moderation, tend to help everything.
DON’T underestimate the power of your friends. You best keep the people that love you the most closest to you, not just for your benefit, but for them, too! They need to be able to get out their rants of that relationship, because chances are, they have them and need to get it out just as much as you. Go out, stay in, go somewhere new or go to that one place with that thing you like, again. Friends make you laugh and remind you that you are in fact pretty awesome.
DO treat yo’self. Go shopping. See a movie. Get your nails did. Finally cash in on that massage you got last birthday. Watch the game with your pants off. Call in sick and just do nothing.
And now, I leave you with some wise words from Mimi, my feisty grandmother who often called me “Heifer” and thought she knew everything…which she probably did. “This too shall pass, and at least you’re pretty!”
Featured image via ShutterStock