This Is Too Much Information: The Robsten Cheating Scandal Edition Michelle Konstantinovsky

My Twitter timeline was flooded (FLOODED!) late last night with epic, breaking news. My Facebook newsfeed was manically spitting out outraged statuses. The blogosphere practically imploded.

A war was not declared and no alien invasion took place, as far as I know. But something so massive occurred, the minute-by-minute updates threatened to take down the interwebs!

Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson.

Now please don’t get me wrong—I’m not making light of the very public disintegration of a private relationship. Quite the opposite.

I was immediately sucked into Robsten Cheating Scandal-Palooza 2012, just like everyone else. I stayed up until 1 AM, poring over grainy paparazzi shots and wondering if anyone is caring for Rob in his time of need (because if not, I will obviously sacrifice my time and energy to fill that role). I felt angry, confused, disappointed, exhausted. It was 1 AM after all.

And then I just felt stupid.

I can be pretty (read: very) delusional when it comes to my connection to celebrities and their personal business. But I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this false intimacy. How can we not get wrapped up in the ups and downs of stars’ lives when they’re practically shoved down our throats at every supermarket checkout? Not to mention of course the multi-million dollar industry built on “reality” television stars—their livelihood depends on us tuning in every week, following their every move in the tabloids, and Tweeting/blogging/Facebooking our thoughts and feelings about each calculated step they take. The Kardashians might go hungry if we don’t keep paying attention, you guys.

But this Robsten debacle is just too much. First there were rumors. Then there were reports. Then photos. Then backlash. And now there are apologies. This is all too much, too fast, and I’m not sure what we’re supposed to make of it. My cynical Hollywood side is telling me I should feel like a total sucker. This could all be the Twilight PR machine at work! The final installment of the series hits theaters in mere months, and look—magically we all care a lot about its stars! Will we be able to see the tension on their faces in each scene? Will there be drama at the red carpet premiere? WHAT DOES TAYLOR LAUTNER THINK ABOUT ALL OF THIS?

So yes, there is the possibility that we’re all being played here. But my delusional side still wants to believe that these are real people we’re talking about. It’s fun and frivolous to gossip about celebrities because there often aren’t repercussions. It’s not like making a catty remark about your coworker’s outfit or divulging the details of your best friend’s interesting night at the bar. Rob and Kristen are actors here for our entertainment, right? We’re supposed to inspect their lives under a microscope and then Tweet about the findings.

No, not really. The intimacy of all of this is far too unsettling for me, and the fact that Kristen’s team (and the team of the alleged adulterer-director she cheated with) felt obligated to issue a statement apologizing for the indiscretion just sort of solidifies for me how disturbingly intertwined we are in these people’s lives. They are still people, and whether this is all a promotional scheme masterminded by the geniuses at Summit, or this really is the sad dissolution of a relationship, I kind of wish we didn’t have to be bombarded with all these gruesome details.

But seriously, Rob, call me maybe?

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  1. What do you mean we’re not supposed to inspect their lives under a microscope and then Tweet about the findings??????!! What will become of our annual family Chrismukkah dinner????

  2. “The Kardashians may go hungry if we don’t keep paying attention”
    HILARIOUS!

  3. I have never really had this obsession with celebrities that other people seem to have… I think it’s extremely petty to gossip about people that you don’t even personally know, not that gossiping isn’t petty enough. What people do is their own business until it begins to affect you, or is so inherently wrong (i.e., child abuse, etc) that it needs to be brought to public eye.

    If anything, the celebrity news that I do watch or read about is purely out of interest and liking for those people. When I catch the occasional glimpse of The Kardashians, it’s because I enjoy their funny family moments – but when it comes to their drama, I couldn’t care less. It’s completely foreign and weird to be to become emotionally attached to celebrities’ drama, I absolutely cannot empathize. Why should anyone care what Taylor Lautner thinks of it? Why should anyone care at all what goes on between Rob and Kirsten? The answer is that no one should, because what goes on between all these celebrities is most likely never going to directly affect any of us. It’s just plain nosy and discourteous to have any emotional feelings at all in regards to this topic or any other example of celebrity drama. Why is everyone so wrapped up in it that they are even trying to figure out if it’s faked or not?

    In all honesty, it’s just plain silly. We should be focusing on the people that make big strides in the world – Sunday Morning NBC is a great program that does this. Just last week they had Peter Frampton come in and talk about his experience as one of the many hailed legends of Rock n’ Roll guitar. But more than that, there is constantly a spotlight shown on people who have accomplished things. Small-business owners that go big and how they did that. People who have done things for charity often debut the program. I dunno, to me that sort of thing is a lot more worth my time then this tabloid garbage.

  4. Glad I was always Team Jacob…….he dodged a silver bullet….LOL. If this wasn’t a publicity stunt …..it is sad. I also want to know what Taylor Lautner thinks of this.

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  6. I don’t really care very much about the Pattinson-Stewart relationship, but after all the buzz these days, I felt absolutely disgusted. Unless it’s some promotion trick, this is a hard time for all the people involved and it’s awful how it became the whole world’s business when it simply shouldn’t. I feel really sorry for them.
    It’s a crazy thing with celebrities, it’s horrible how much we violate thier privacy and so easily judge their choices and life; although when someone gets nosy with our own business or jugdes us, man, do we get furious. Personally, I’m interested in knowing that people that I admire for their talent and work are OK with their lives and happy, but that’s it. When it gets further, I feel like I’m eavesdropping on something intimate and I know I would hate it.

  7. This whole thing seems just so nuts. Everything blew up in a very public way in such a short period of time, and K-Stew’s apology seems heartfelt and honest, because she doesn’t owe the gossip mags/public anything and she’s never felt the need to pretend otherwise. And having this play out so very, very publicly just makes me sad for her and everyone else involved.

    (Also: um, seriously, the dude is 20 years older than her, married with kids AND was arguably her boss during SWaTH and the gossip mags/public is focusing on her being the evilslutbitch cheater instead of him? I hate our society.)

  8. Great article. Lovely words. I have mixed feelings about this issue. Part of me hate cheaters so…well there’s that. Another part of me HATES Twilight. Like passionately. The WORST relationship role-model for young kids EVER (I taught middle schools about emotional and physical abuse in a relationship so I feel passionately about it). Another part of me laughed. Why do celebrities, who literally can have anything in the entire world, ruin it? Just ruin it? She ahd everything and has lost a good chunk of it. I’m interested to see how my best friend reacts because she’s obsessed with everything Twilight or K.Stew. Keep in mind she’s 26….

  9. Personally I think there is a level of privacy celebrities deserve but will never receive. Here especially. My opinion on this goes as follows: I honestly believe this Robsten thing us totally a forced thing. They may actually love each other, but if there was an expectation for you to be Edward and Bella all the time, it’s eventually going to take a toll. Kristen is still young and thus will do crazy stupid things, but especially with the pressure of being a part of something maybe she isn’t sure of but everyone else is absolutely sure of. She’s Bella after all right? I’m not condoning what she did, assuming the info given is correct… But I’m gonna give her the benefit of the doubt considering. People hate on her enough for who she is.

  10. Brilliantly written. I seriously kept nodding my head the entire time in total agreement! You put into words everything I was thinking, like…yes what about the red carpet! Awkward. I was wrapped up in this all day and it did happen so quickly!! I thought the apology at first was a hoax. Nope…it’s all real, and now I feel badly about spending so much time on it. We probably don’t need to know all the gruesome details.

  11. I completely agree with you in this article, I don’t know why I care so much, either. For me, what makes it seem so much more like a PR stunt is the fact that everywhere I look at regarding this “news” is that KRISTEN cheated… and nothing about the other guy, except maybe his apology. Of course, she is more widely known than he is, but it’s kind of unfair how she is being publicly judged by what she did instead of at least saying “they”, after all he is older and supposedly should’ve known better than her. I don’t know… Just my point of view.

  12. ..and also it may not even be true and also about died at “WHAT DOES TAYLOR LAUTNER THINK ABOUT ALL OF THIS?!” :)

  13. I always thought Kristen was a very genuine person and if this was done as a PR stunt its very sad and even sadder if its for real, either way she may have damaged her career now. I feel very sorry for his wife and kids.

  14. I’ve veen saying from the beginning thr that whole relationship was a PR stunt. The focus had gone off of them so something had to be set up to cause controversy, and of course Stewert had to play the bad guy. Just look at how she got with Robto in the first place…

  15. “I can be pretty (read: very) delusional when it comes to my connection to celebrities and their personal business. But I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this false intimacy.” I totally agree with your statement there and this whole article in fact. I’m such a fan of their’s, so to hear this news was a little upsetting. Only to realize I shouldn’t be remotely upset over someone else’s drama when I’ve never even met them. From one human to another, I feel bad for Rob. Additionally, it’s horrible that the affair is being publicized, but Kristen should know that if you’re really that famous in this day and age, you CANNOT get away with cheating. I do hope they can work things out, even if the world is watching.

  16. Lol to the part about anyone caring for Rob!! But I dont get how this became huge news! Its turned into insanity! Oh well, guess Im going to go google those paparazzi pics of Kstew in the act now! Lol

  17. I truly don’t think this is some crazy PR stunt. I mean, the last Twilight movie is already bound to make a gazillion dollars, cheating scandal or not. And somehow, I just don’t see Kristen Stewart being okay with being labled a homewrecker just to sell a few more movie tickets.

  18. The massive use of social networking make celebrities accessible. Almost like any other friend you Facebook with. how can we not care? We are empathetic humans. Its like you said.these famous people are shoved down our throats!! I wonder what Huxley or Orwell would make of all this

  19. I about died when you said “WHAT DOES TAYLOR LAUTNER THINK ABOUT ALL OF THIS?!”