This is Important: ALIENS
by Ellie McElvain
Tilda Swinton is an alien. I’m not accusing her of being an unnaturalized foreign citizen – that is small change, pennies. I am saying that she was born on an unknown planet, and perhaps one day when she was skipping amongst the asteroids – whatever alien children do in their free time – she tripped and stumbled onto our humble blue planet.
I want to be clear: this is not an attack on her personality or acting abilities. She is a good actress! Too good, actually. Like, Michael Clayton was great but I think her best will be the upcoming tour-de-force performance in Eventual World Domination. It’s a working title.
I just flatly cannot understand everyone’s apparent nonchalance about this glaring truth. I don’t want to call every major world leader an idiot-dummy in front of their young children and in-laws, but I will do it if Tilda continues to masquerade as human without investigation.
Again: I don’t want to hurt her. I’m just asking for a CAT scan or something. She’s probably not the singular ground team on impending world doom by alien invasion, but WHAT IF? I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. There’s so much at stake.
I mean, really.
Many people applaud her daring taste in fashion and bold androgynous look. I applaud her ability to adapt from an alien-society without a “gender” concept or synthetic fibers.
I cannot be more emphatic about this. Tilda Swinton is an alien. And that’s most likely okay. Many a non-believer has tried to quiet me, saying things like, “Oh, Ellie, I just Googled her Wikipedia and she’s actually from a great lineage of Anglo-Scots documented all the way back to the high middle ages, she can’t have just appeared from space,” or “shut up.”
And this is important: I won’t shut up! I feel passionately about this national security risk, and though I operate in the minority of this debate, my courage (or insanity, whatever) to speak out cannot be broken. I should hope that if you feel similarly about a topic – be it an alien celebrity or topics of equal importance, like the Egyptian revolution – you too will not back down.
Keep fighting the good fight! And once more, Tilda Swinton is an alien.
Photo via emmanueltjiya.wordpress.com
Feature Image via FanPop.com
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07.30.2011 |
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Play she does well, the force she must use.
I make it a point to inform every person I encounter that she is most definitely an alien and we should all be afraid of her.
You are a hero amongst cowards!
What are your thoughts on Lady GaGa? Is she an alien?
I’m not sure yet. Probably not, because she is doing little to hide that her affinity for alien culture. Real aliens are very secretive.
SHE IS! I’ve always been freaked out by Tilda! There is no other explaination! Lady Gaga isn’t an alien, she’s your typical London art student with a record deal ¬_¬
So I’m not alone in this!
I’ve always thought she was creepy, and the first time I saw her in anything I wasn’t sure if she was a dude or a girl.
Hidden due to low Click here to see.
People who post comments on the internet are so nice!!
I actually find it a bit offensive to call someone an alien because of their androgynous physical appearance. That completely plays into gender stereotypes, and, to use your verbage, alienates an entire community of people who feel they don’t fit into categories such as ‘boy’ or ‘girl.’ I understand you were trying to be funny, but maybe next time you should think about who and what are really at the butt of your joke.
Absolutely, and I’m glad you brought this up. However, her alien-like features go beyond the androgyny. Many find her astonishingly beautiful, in a non-gendered way, and comment on her otherworldly look. For example, for the August 2011 issue of W magazine, they call her “out-of-this world” and construct an entire photo shoot where she is depicted as alien-like. I took the silly leap into saying she is actually an alien. Which, as I believe I made clear though with some joking, was not to be a reason for us as a society to reject her. I mostly wanna learn more about aliens and it would be awesome if she was finally the link! So long as she is not here to lead an invasion. And that sentiment of “danger” in something that is different from the society-norm is important to address because a key part of understanding the members of the community you speak of on a broader level are conversations and from those, realizing that there’s nothing to be afraid of if we open our minds to queer/transsexual/transgendered/etc everything! Silence makes things scary. Aliens are misunderstood. Let’s understand them.
I fully agree on this.I think her best androgynous/alien part was Gabriel in Constantine, however, every time I watch “V” and think of aliens,whether I want to or not,her face just pops into my head. And I don’t understand people that still can’t see that HG is a site for giggles and fun…But that’s just my humble opinion
Yes! Finally someone as obsessed as me with this cause. People tend to ignore me when I point out that clearly, she must be an alien. How can they not see it when it is so obvious to me?
lols.
probably one of my favorite pieces you’e written to-date, mcelvain.
Joan Allen (another GREAT actress) also seems like an alien to me…
Yes! Also Jayma Mays would probably look great with a pair of antennae.
I think Tilda Swinton is strikingly gorgeous, personally.
yeah me too but like strikingly gorgeous alien.