Okay! Yours truly here with the Champagne Problem of the week and that happens to be… transportation. If you’re anything like me, you’d wish the New York subway would transport itself to whatever city you were living in so you’d never have the yuck feeling of getting a parking ticket or marinating in the LA gridlock again. But alas, we aren’t that lucky and sometimes we have opt for ways to be more outdoors when we travel to and fro. For that, my dear friends, comes the thought of purchasing a VESPA. Yes, the adorable little scooter that takes you up to about 50-65 miles per hour, makes you look super cute and terrifies your friends daily.

Now, take it from me (who just got a Vespa for the first time last week) that this is both the most awesome and  dumbest decision you will ever make. Yes, you are the hippest chick in town as you whiz by traffic, posing as the new makeshift Angelina Jolie.  But you also have to keep in mind that this little pickle that you are motoring around on is cold. I mean, icebox cold.  True, come summer you’ll be able to bob n’ weave round the smokin hot areas of the south as you spring break it up, but living in Los Angeles, the temperature goes from 8o degrees in the day to about 48 degrees at night. Therefore, that cute little outfit you had on earlier is now deeply layered in about two hoodies and a dope leather jacket with padding. Not to mention your poor little phalanges have to be covered at all times with legit leather gloves (not store-bought Forever 21 fuzzies you find adorable), otherwise your hands will be colder than Jack’s when he sinks to the bottom of the ocean (Titanic reference!). Believe me, “adorable” will matter not when your snot bubbles are freezing to your face.

Will this get better? Oh, totes. I can’t wait for summer time when I’m a cutie patootie on a Vespa zipping through the hills. But for now, let this purchase be one you think through consequence-wise.  Because now what should be a 30 minute drive on a highway will now become a 2 hour drive on back roads (Because you’re not supposed to take the little buggers on the highway…didn’t put together how much of a pain in the rear that would be until it was too late.) But don’t let any of this deter you! My dream is to zip around the streets of Rome with two handsome Italian me on the back of my bike as they whisper sweet nothings about Bolognese sauce in my ear. Until then, I’ll have to settle for the homeless men hitting on me at red lights or reading sexy online novels like Diamond Gothic. Happy Driving!

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Images via Alice Dison