— Love and Other (Near) Disasters

11 things to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend before you break up

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You’ve been feeling weird with your current romantic relationship. Perhaps it’s gone stagnant and you’re unsure of whether or not it’s time to take the next step with your significant other, or break things off entirely. It’s never a fun thing to do, but at this point, it’s time to start asking the heavy questions. To aid you through this process, we have a list of 10 things to ask your partner before you decide to break up.

Communication the key to success for all relationships. That’s especially true for relationships where vulnerability and romantic emotions are involved. Tread lightly, but honestly in this territory. But remember that you owe it to yourself to get the answers you need to make the best decision for yourself in the scenario.

1Are you truly happy in our relationship?

It’s a broad question, but it can open up a conversation that could touch upon issues that have you concerned. If your partner hesitates and isn’t sure of how to answer, don’t jump to a quick conclusion and get angry with them — especially if this question is kind of coming out of the blue. Encourage them to be honest. If they aren’t happy, then it’s time to delve into heavier questions.

2What do you want out of this relationship?

Do you see us getting married and growing old together? Or is this more of a summer fling? Depending on how long you’ve been with your partner, this question can have a make-or-break answer. If you desire permanency in your relationship, but your S.O. can’t necessarily picture their future with you — or visa versa — then this relationship might need a second thought.

3Why are you attracted to me?

You might think you already know the answer to this question, but your partner’s response could surprise you. If he or she focuses on the physical attraction they feel to you, rather than on your personality, drive to succeed, ability to be your most authentic self, etc., then you might have a problem. This person may not be interested in sticking it out for the long haul.

4Where do I fit on your list of priorities?

Depending on what you’re looking for in your partner — either someone who would rather die than stay away from you, or someone who likes you a lot but isn’t obsessed with you — their answer can sway your decision to end things or not. Not everyone wants to be at the top of their S.O.’s priorities list, but others demand that they are number one. If your partner doesn’t give you the answer you want, it’s time to think about where your priorities are.

5What are your religious views and how important are they to you?

Religious beliefs can play a huge role in a relationship. Common religious views can bring two people together, and can also drive two people apart. If you’re unaware of your partner’s faith or belief system, it’s time to find out. Your future life together might be strained if you two are constantly arguing about Creation vs. Evolution or reincarnation vs. heaven/hell — and those arguments are just the tip of the religious argument iceberg.

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