I feel like everyone I know on the internet is talking about Lana Del Rey right now.
Some people talk about how they love her. Some people talk about how hate her. I even know one person who got to talk to her and then write about it for a magazine, and then he was asked by another publication to talk about talking to her. There’s so much talking and I still have so many questions.
I really wish that Lana Del Rey and I could have cocktails at Raines Law Room and I could ask her the following questions:
- In ‘Blue Jeans‘ you say to a guy, “But you fit me better/than my favorite sweater”. I like that line. Probably because I like sweaters, too! What does your favorite sweater look like? Mine is an evergreen cashmere one with zippers by the collar that I couldn’t actually afford, but that I bought anyway from J. Crew. Do you like J. Crew secretly?
- When you say you’re a “gangster Nancy Sinatra” does that mean you wear “ganster boots” that are made for walking? Are they going to walk all over me? What are gangster boots? Do they exist? All I know is they don’t sell them at J. Crew. No, seriously, do you secretly like J. Crew?
- When you were spinning around during your Saturday Night Live set, were you supposed to have this amazing Wonder Woman moment where your dress erupted into sparkles and you became a Phoenix like Jean Grey? Do you know what a Phoenix is? Do you know who Jean Grey is? Should I stop alluding to comic book characters when I’m drinking with famous and successful women?
- How do you make your hair so pretty?
- What do you like more? Making music, making quirky digital videos or making people confused?
- Are you going to drink that? Can I finish it?
- When you made the ‘Born to Die‘ video, were you like nervous about being topless while hugging a topless dude? I don’t know if I’d be nervous, but I’d be cold. Then, I’d be nervous about being cold. Was it cold or did they keep the studio warm?
- How did you make your mouth look bigger than it did a year ago if you didn’t have plastic surgery? Is it those Buxom lipsticks? I got one for free from Sephora once. It made my lips tingle. Do your lips ever tingle or are they numb because they’re perfect?
- What’s your favorite Disney movie? Mine’s Beauty and the Beast. No. It’s The Little Mermaid. No. Wait. It’s Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken. Can we get another round?
- What do you think about Newt Gingrich’s comments that he wants to build a base on the moon? At first, I was like, “That sounds ridiculous.” However, now I really want him to because it would be a super cool vacation spot. The Moon could be the new Iceland. Have you been to Iceland? Is it like the Moon? Is it like space? Are you from outer space or Lake Placid?
- Do you like badgers?
- Are we friends yet?