Things I Learned From Aaron Sorkin: Everything I Know About the World is WrongStefanie Boltz

You weren’t expecting that, were you? But, Stefanie, you say, you always complain about things Aaron Sorkin forgot to tell you! You write an entire blog about it. This is a whole new thing. Please take a moment to readjust your decision-making paradigm. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Aaron Sorkin opened my eyes to a whole new world: The global politics of geography. As a Californian, I can talk about geography for hours. You have never met a people so keen on discussing freeways in your entire life. And as far as the politics part of California geography, Clueless said it best: “You get upset if someone thinks you live below Sunset!” Because you might as well have said someone lives in Culver City (shudder).

But I digress.

Let’s catch up with our heroes. Now, this clip is a wee bit long to not involve cats. I totally get it, but watch it anyway.

Here are some things I learned from Aaron Sorkin:

1) Germany isn’t where I think it is.

I’m sorry, what? I’ve been to Germany like three times. It isn’t where I think it is?! And every map I’ve seen since pre-school has been wrong? How are we not lost every single day if nothing is where we think it is? But the bigger question is why was Aaron Sorkin the first person to bring this up? I think “Where In the World is Carmen San Diego?” seriously dropped the ball on this –  hard.

2) Elementary school students are oppressing the Developing world.

The maps I colored in 6th grade when we covered world history were, in fact, a symbol of western imperialistic oppression? And I thought Columbus Day or dressing up in a paper bag that I cut strips into on Thanksgiving had taken care of that pretty well. So not only was I plain wrong, I was perpetuating the systemic oppression of the developing world with every map worksheet I labeled, colored, and hung on the refrigerator. I’m sure there is some Ph.D. candidate holed up in a University library, surrounded by maps and celestial navigation charts, reading this and muttering, “If that helps you.” It does Ph.D. candidate. It does.

3) Put your map down, flip it and reverse it.

Wait, wait, wait – a crucial step to reversing centuries of imperialistic attitudes that north is on top, thus better, is flipping the map upside down? North America could just as easily be South America? It’s that simple? I have the sudden urge to wander around museums turning maps upside down. Maybe they will start calling me the map bandit for social equality.  Hey, those people who “yarn bomb” things are taken seriously, why can’t I?

These are just the things I learned form Aaron Sorkin.

Featured image via ShutterStock

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  1. did you know that richard schiff is currently appearing on stage in dc?
    http://www.shakespearetheatre.org/plays/details.aspx?id=347&source=l
    just sayin’

  2. I just watched this episode! Insanity! I loved CJ’s reaction, exactly how I felt.