Things Ariel Taught MeVanessa King

Ariel.  In 1989, she was who every young girl wanted to be.  This Little Mermaid proved that if you work hard and play your cards right, you can have your cake and eat it too… on a boat, with your Prince and fireworks.  Complete with a little emotional growth learned along her road to happiness, she is living-cartoon proof that you can achieve everything you want out of life, circumstances be damned.

Let’s face it: even now, I want to be her – drop-dead gorgeous, amazing hair, can sing like you wouldn’t believe, owner of the perkiest boobs EVER, former undersea Princess, rule breaker, trouble maker, problem solver, Prince-marrier and just naive enough to be cute.  Even though for most of the movie she didn’t speak, if you really listen, this redhead speaks volumes.

All these years later, I’ve realized Ariel schooled me on some very important tips on growing up:

- Never show up late to a party your parents are throwing.  Hell will break loose and you’ll be blamed.

- You don’t have to be satisfied with the status quo: it’s okay to push the envelope, just remember to watch out for sharks.

- One cavern can hold a lot of wonders and being a little bit of a hoarder is okay as long as nobody knows about it.  You’re totally screwed if your Dad finds out, though.

- Everyone needs a Dinglehopper.  Snarfblats will get you in trouble.   So will boys.

- Jamaicans are the voice of reason.  Listen to them.

- Love at first sight is never reliable, especially when one of you may have a concussion.

- Always read the fine print on any contract you sign.  Pay extra attention to troublesome clauses that contain specific dates, mentions of “sundown” and/or “kisses of true love”.

- If you like a guy, it’s okay to make the first move.  If you don’t, there’s a chance he’ll marry someone else.

- Persistence is key.  Ambition will get you everywhere.

- Your friends really do have your back.

…and perhaps the most important think Ariel taught me?   Every woman needs her own voice.

Ariel is hitting theaters in 3D September 2013 and I will be first in line.  Until then, if anybody needs me, you’ll find me in my apartment surrounded by my gadgets and gizmos a plenty, my whoozits and whatsits galore, my thingamabobs (I’ve got 20)… but who cares?  No big deal.  I want more.

Image via FanPop

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  1. Aw this made me laugh and it was so cute!

  2. While I find the Disney “princesses” hard to stomach in that what they teach young girls is all about getting the Prince (except for Belle, kind of), I still love the movies. I always cried when Ariel got married because she could never see her dad again.

  3. LoVe!!!!! I hear so many negative things about the classic disney movies that make me soooo frustrated, I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who finds them good and positive. Ariel is amazing and I miss being able to watch those movies all day, every day like i used to when I was a kid. I will most definitely be in line when it comes out again next year :)

  4. I watched that movie to death as a kid, as a red headed youth who loved the water, I adored Ariel. I can’t believe it’ll be back in theatres next year, can’t wait!

  5. and that its okay to be ginger..

  6. I think we sat through many viewings together! i think I still have your Ariel figurine SOMEWHERE. Really funny article!

  7. OMG I loved this! I’m a huge fan of Ariel, one of my favorite Disney movies,
    The Little Mermaid is an extraordinary movie, the songs are amazing and the story is really beautiful. I do love this movie, nw I’m 20 almost 21 years old, and I still know all the songs from this master piece. Thank you for your article, it was really nostalgic and beautiful :’)
    And you are right, every girl wants to be Ariel, beautiful, charming, married with a handsome prince, an ideal life.

  8. If Ariel were real, she’d have the biggest BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING ever! Because, after all, at 16 years old, she’s definitely “not a child anymore!” Marry young, and have that beautiful voice silenced after you snare your Prince! Best message EVER!

  9. Every lyric to every song in the movie. I can recite them on command.

  10. The Little Mermaid was my favorite movie when I was 4 and it’s still my favorite Disney movie, and I’m 24 now. I even have an Ariel bedspread on my bed – that’s how cool I am.

  11. Little Mermaid is my favorite Disney movie ever. When I was little my dad – tired of seeing me go around the house, the streets and on holidays with my little audiobook and book of LM – asked me “so, what did you learn about this? what happens to little mermaids who do not listen to their parents?” and I answered “they get married”. Swear to god, my family still talks about that! :D Anyways, I don’t know why, to this date, everytime the king transforms Ariel, I cry like a child. It just feels so sad that she has to give up her world in order to be with her love!

  12. She taught me that every woman should give up her voice for a man.

  13. I <3 Ariel!!!

  14. I LOVED Ariel. I wanted to be Ariel. I had the long red hair and I loved to swim and sing, so I was almost there. In the summer, I would swim down to the bottom of the pool and then push off straight up from the bottom and come bursting out of the water with my hair flowing behind me — I really thought I was her. Haha.

  15. ugh, this was fantastic!

  16. Love this so much!

  17. the little Mermaid .. with snowwhite my favorites…
    byegiggles!

  18. The best is Second City’s take on “Messages from a Cartoon Princess”, youtube it, it’s FANTASTIC. I promise you’ll laugh.

  19. LOL!! love those life lessons. Ariel was always my fav princess