From Our ReadersThey’re Just Not That Into You: Job EditionFrom Our Readers

After graduating this past spring from my masters program and moving back home, I’ve been on the job hunt. It wasn’t until this past month where I’ve really, seriously, started my full time job of looking for jobs. What I’ve come to grasp over the past few weeks is that looking for jobs, applying for jobs, interviewing or not even getting your foot in the door to interview, sucks, majorly. On the flip side, searching for a job can be exciting and nurturing and full of all different kinds of possibilities. Through all the greatness that searching for a new career or job can do for oneself, it also can really, really suck. In many ways, I’ve realized that finding a job is a lot like dating. To use the motto from the dating guru, Greg Behrendt’s He’s Just Not That Into You, I like to think of the job search as “They’re Just Not That Into You”. How is job hunting like dating, you ask? When you’re searching for jobs and if you are one of the lucky ones to get an interview, you are there to size them up as much as they are there to see how you would fit with the job and organization’s philosophy, personality and ethos. On a first date, you’re often thinking similarly. How does this job match with me as a person? Do I think I’d be happy and productive here? Do I feel like I would learn and grow in this job? Do I like the people that I’m being interviewed by? What’s the office energy and personality like?

One thing that really bothers me and I know often can’t be changed is when you’re waiting to hear back either to be interviewed or after you’ve been interviewed. The waiting game, just like in the dating world, can be excruciating. You can’t help but think if they haven’t called, that maybe, just maybe, they are really busy and can’t seem to find the right time to schedule an interview with you or they are debating back and forth about who would make the best fit, you hopefully being the front runner. Recently, I was waiting to schedule an interview at an agency and I had my hopes up thinking that this would be a really great fit for me as a new professional. I thought that the reason why I hadn’t heard back from said agency was because they were still trying to figure out a good time for me to come in, since they had to reschedule a few times already. I should have read what was written on the unemployment wall but I had left messages and thought, they will at least give me the decency and call me back to let me know that the position was filled, right? Wrong. Oh how wrong I was. I had to call them to “check in” and that’s when I was told that the position was already filled. What?! I can’t say I was all that surprised but coupled with that was also my anger and disappointment and frustration realizing that they were just not that into me. I, like most people, hate being strung along and I wish that people who are in the job of hiring could just be honest and take the time to let people know when they’ve found someone who they deem to be a better fit. Or at least give us a time frame, so we can mourn the loss, move on and search for something better. I know these people are very busy and have many more important things to be concerned about but, an unemployed girl can dream, right?

As disheartening as it can be to not get the job that you think is of your dreams, remember that something better is waiting for you. I’m of the mind that if I didn’t get a job it was because it wasn’t the right place for me, no matter how much I thought it was. As my mom so rightly said, you get more no’s than you do yes’. Every no that you get will lead you closer and closer to the yes job. Always have hope my unemployed friends that all the time, effort, anxiety, blood, sweat and tears, that you put into finding a job will aide in finding the right job for you; where you will learn and grow and appreciate all the work you put in to creating your newly employed self. Have reassurance that when it’s right, you’ll feel it and you’ll get the job and be where you are supposed to be for now. You will find a job that is totally into you (hopefully, in a non-creepy way) and it will all be worth it, even if it’s hard to see it just yet.

By Lucy L. Fisher

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  1. i’ve been going through the same thing for two years. even worse, finding a teaching job is almost seasonal. its the pits, for sure. its gotten so bad that I am looking into a career change.

    i try not to get too down though.

    • Meghan, I’m sorry to hear about your job search difficulty. I’m so impressed that you’ve held on so strongly, you go girl! Please know that you’re not alone and that all your hard work and not giving up is such a wonderful gift you’re giving yourself. Whether you decide to stay on this path or to try a new one, I’d say just listen to what feels right. You’ll get there, I have no doubt!

  2. In the meantime, remember: unemployed = self-employed.

    • I couldn’t have said it better myself, Joel! Even though it can be an incredibly difficult time, it can also be a really great opportunity to focus on yourself and what work would (hopefully) make you most happy.

  3. Best article for someone undergoing the experiences of job hunting. Definitely going to be recommending this.