These Are My Favorite Kinds Of Guys, Part One

The best guys are like caramel apples. Really sweet on the outside, but then like, nourishing, no-guilt sweet on the inside, too. With a big hard stick poking out of them, ha ha. Penis joke!

No, but really, stop making me write penis jokes. You guys are disgusting.

I spend a lot of time loving on women because (1) women are lovable and admirable and the only people I want to spend 80% of my time with, (2) It’s important to support other women vocally because it’s not 2050 yet and doing this really can help encourage women and employ them in Hollywood, the world, etc and (3) karma, man. When I’m 90 years old and an old bag of bones trying to find work, I want young, hip girls on HelloGiggles to make me popular virally and get me guest spots on network sitcoms.

So now I thought I’d devote a small amount of time loving on some guys. Obviously HelloGiggles is a site for safe, ongoing adoration for the worthy likes of Lena Dunham, Jessica Chastain, Serena Williams, Amy Poehler and Nancy Pelosi. These are great women and I salute them all. But in case you wanted a little guy distraction, here are some of the best kind of guys, in my opinion.

Aaron Sorkin characters:

I love Aaron Sorkin characters because I, like the rest of the North American world, have a fondness for witty, East Coast-y, over-educated, well-dressed Jewish guys. The typical Sorkin character is a bleeding heart liberal who is the tiniest bit sassy. They are also deeply moral. The West Wing was entirely populated with these guys, and they frequently had to stand up for what was right. You knew there was a stirring Sorkin speech and some good W. Snuffy Walden scoring on tap every episode.

Self-Effacing NBA players:

Lamar Odom has served the same role on the Los Angeles Lakers as he does on the Kardashian shows: he is the secret star. Lamar is sweet, retiring, adores his wife and is five million feet tall. An amiable NBA player with even the slightest amount of self-awareness is so rare it’s like Kim Kardashian without makeup on: totally intoxicating. Besides the obvious surface qualities – being tall, incredibly athletic and rich – I think its great that NBA players travel a lot. I’m a big fan of absence making the heart grow fonder, etc. (But I always think you should see your boyfriend and husband infrequently, so you’re constantly in a state of star-crossed longing like The Notebook.) Dirk Nowitzki, Ray Allen, Steve Nash… these are some other guys who fall in this category.

Good Dads:

My dad is incredible. Bad dads may be the source of much the worlds greatest literature, but a good dad makes life so much more wonderful and bearable. My dad gave me his car when I moved out to Los Angeles, which is already very generous, but then he made my older brother road trip across our continent with him to deliver it to me. That’s just like a good dad: turning a gift to one child into a reluctant bonding experience with another.

In the Next Installment of These Are My Favorite Kinds Of Guys…

-Gavin Newsom

-Your Uncle Who Taught You About Puns

-Aaron Copland

-Navy Seals

  • Cassandra Richards

    This had me laughing, and has some very good points haha thanks!

  • Caroline Anderson

    I love Mindy Kaling, and cannot stomach Aaron Copland, so I hope the teaser for the next installation is for rullz. If anyone is going to get me into Copland, it’ll be Mindy.

  • Ingrid Haas

    I couldn’t agree with you more. Love this article!

  • Alice Vaught

    Yay! more Mindy on hellogiggles!

  • Yajaira Nuribeth Calderon

    Love this! I love Mindy!! :-)

  • Hilary Matthews Hansen

    Josh Lyman is the perfect man! For the next installment – guys that open doors for you but don’t come off as sexist. Those are the best!

  • Jean Ann

    Steve Yzerman, totally worthy of some guy love. If you look up class, integrity and awesome in the dictionary, it will say “see also, Steve Yzerman” :)

  • Heather Watson

    If there is anything better than being able to say I write for the same website as Mindy Kaling, I haven’t felt its betterness yet. (And to be feeling this way before 8 am is pretty tops, too.)

  • Jennifer Reilly Kelmer

    Aaron Sorkin characters are such dreamy intellectuals! I love them, even Danny + Matt of the short lived Studio 60. More Mindy, more Mindy! xo

  • Casey Harvilla

    “I love Aaron Sorkin characters because I, like the rest of the North American world, have a fondness for witty, East Coast-y, over-educated, well-dressed Jewish guys. ”

    it’s like you read my mind.
    there’s really just something about them haha

  • Kelly Cosby

    SO GREAT, I agree with it all. Love.

  • Carrie Cook

    I’ve thought so for a while now, but this confirmed it — Mindy Kaling’s my soul sister. This is so on point.

  • Ashley Tester

    OMG Mindy on HG!

  • Lori Regattieri

    I just remember about Coach Taylor in Friday Night Lights,he was such a great dad,actually to all of his players 😉

  • Mandy McDonald

    I have a weakness for good dads too. I worked for a summer free lunch program with local churches and one of the church members brought his daughter (maybe 4 years old). He was playing hide and seek with her and I fell in love haha
    It didn’t hurt that he looked a little like Edward Norton.

  • Alan Howell

    Aaron Sorkin guys are great, as long as you’re not talking about Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men” 😉 Aaron Copland is one of my heroes!

    My guy crush has always been Dick Goodwin (Rob Morrow) in the movie “Quiz Show.” He’s just that perfect combination of laid-back and brainy that I love and I strive toward.

  • Emily Cain

    Well this is serendipitous! Hello commenter “Caroline Anderson”. One of my best gal pals in high school was named “Carolyn Anderson” with a Y. She and I used lament endlessly about our disdain for Copland. It was due to a bad experience of playing Buckaroo Holiday in our youth symphony. I could go on, but I don’t want to keep bragging about how cool I am.

    MINDY: Please explain yourself. WHY Aaron Copland? If it’s because he was secretly getting it on with Lenny Bernstein, then fine. That’s an acceptable reason. I too have a liking for east coast-y, over-educated, well-dressed Jewish guys. (If they’re gay, it’s a super bonus, and makes me want to date them all the more.)

    • Alan Howell

      Mmmm… I like Lenny too :) Copland had good taste, if that’s the case 😉

  • Renee Brunner VanAusdal

    Mindy, you get it right every time. And I can’t wait until I see you guest spotting on a sitcom as a randy old lady.

  • Nancy Florin Burke

    I hear your voice in your writing – that is the highest compliment I can pay to a writer. Thanks.

  • Frank Fraone

    Mindy is the best but whatabout regular ol dudes? The ones that abide?

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