The Wisdom Of The Spice Girls

Me, Halloween, 1998. My mom made me wear tights and a turtleneck under my Ginger Spice dress because it was cold. I had a red wig but it was itchy so I didn't wear it until Trick-Or-Treating. Yes, I was still Trick-Or-Treating in middle school. Yikes. Oh and yes, I'm wearing platform sneakers in this photo. Remember those?


If you want my future forget my past. – ‘Wannabe’

Jest. Go ahead. Jest it up, but there is inherent wisdom in the Spice Girls. My middle school self learned a lot from them. I learned about friendship, girl power, what the word “posh” means and safe sex (‘2 Become 1′). It’s so easy to dismiss them but I defy you to find a better example of pure exhilarating pop music. Defy.

All you need is positivity. – ‘Spice Up Your Life’

Before The Secret, the Spice Girls held the candle that illuminated our way. Be positive! What a simple, beautiful message, like “Give peace a chance.” Yeah, I went there. The Spice Girls are the Beatles but they’re all Ringo. And that’s okay! They encouraged us to embrace dancing. They encouraged us to support our fellow woman. They encouraged us to be ourselves.

There is no need to say you love me. It would be better left unsaid. – ‘Say You’ll Be There’

Yes, their skirts were short and some of them wore what can only be defined loosely as shorts but damnit, it was their choice. They weren’t dressed for men, they were dressed for themselves. Yes, they didn’t write their own music. Who cares? They’re not supposed to be a group of female Bob Dylans. They’re pure pop. There is nothing wrong with pop music. Pop music survives.

Been brokenhearted before. But that’s the last time it happens to me. – ‘Love Thing’

My favorite was Geri Halliwell, or ‘Ginger Spice’. I was secretly disappointed that she changed her name from Sexy Spice. She was sexy! And she wasn’t super thin like Victoria. She had thighs. Real thighs! And she showed them proudly. So I showed them proudly. Then my mom said, “Oh hell no, you’re not wearing that to school.” So I let Geri dress like that for me.

Set your spirit free. It’s the only way to be. – ‘2 Become 1′

But then, what happened? I’ll tell you what happened. The Spice Girls became uncool. Was it that movie that did it? I’m not sure. That’s the problem with popular culture. Popularity is fleeting. It was around this time that they released Forever. Titling your album Forever is like another way of saying This Is Pretty Much Our Last Album. Then they were gone and splintered into solo careers, with sadly the best career being a footballer’s wife. Why did they try to be cool?

I still love the Spice Girls. I just wish they loved themselves.

Slam your body down, A-zigazag-ah. Amen.

Photo from Life’s Google Image Archive.

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