I Should Not Be Reviewing Movies

The ‘Unsinkable' Molly Brown Was The Original Bossy Queen

I was 11 years old when Titanic came out for the first time. I saw it 6 times in the theater and the boat was the topic of my 7th grade research paper. To say I was obsessed would be like saying the Titanic was a row boat, a gross understatement.  After I wore out the tape on the double-VHS movie, which I waited in line for and bought at Albertsons, Titanic sailed from my life, seemingly lost forever to internet memes. I should’ve known it would be back.

With the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic just days away and the chance to see the “Jack, I’m flying” scene in 3D, I blocked out half of my day and stocked up on snacks for a trip down memory lane. I have to say, it did not disappoint. Unfortunately, I am one of the unlucky people who get barfy-car-sick during 3D movies, so I watched the majority of the movie with the glasses off. It was still exceptional and I am surprised how much of it I still had memorized. Imagine how much room I would have in my brain if I could just forget all of the 90’s song lyrics and movie quotes. Oodles of space.

Upon my re-viewing, not much had changed. I was still mesmerized by Kate and charmed by Leo, but a new character bobbed her sassy head to the surface of the film this time, the ‘Unsinkable’ Molly Brown. How on Earth did I miss this ferocious firecracker the first go-round? There are so many things I love about Molly, but here are just a few.

She got in a brawl on the lifeboat because she wanted to go back and save people. I straight-up dare you to think of something more noble than that.

She ran for public office before women could even vote. She ran for Senate eight years before women became voters. ‘Nuff said.

She was a girl’s girl. Being the savvy lady that she was, Molly used her notoriety garnered as a Titanic survivor to further the causes she believed in. She famously fought for the rights of workers and women and the education of children.

Cal: We’ll both have the lamb. Rare, with very little mint sauce. You like lamb. Right, Sweet pea?

Molly: You gonna cut her meat for her too there, Cal?

She traveled alone before that was cool. Ladies in the early 1900s didn’t just cruise across the Atlantic sans-husband. So the fact that she was rolling in the deep (blue sea) without J.J., her hubs, is pretty radical. I can totally picture her in today’s world hittin’ up Denny’s on a weekday morning solo-style for some chocolate chip flapjacks.

She invented the lace dress, bushy-brow, fierce beehive look: Mark my words that this look is gonna be poppin’ at Coachella this year. Get on this train.


Cloris Leachman has played her twice. First in Telephone Time (1957) and again in S.O.S. Titanic (1979). So stick that in your Netflix and pop some cornz.

She had ‘tude… in a good way. She was known for being outspoken and sassy, even borderline irreverent. Those are like, my three favorite adjectives.

Molly: Why do they insist on announcing dinner like a damned cavalry charge?

She had a great name. Unsinkable! What a great with-in name nickname. Maybe it’s something about people named Molly. They all seem to be pretty radical.

Again, with the Glamour Shots. You can’t deny that hat just screams “I’m a badass bitch. Now, give me all your money!” That’s the same thing I scream every time I walk into a bank.

Oh, and just incase you are concerned about my smarts, I am aware that the character portrayed in Titanic is fictional, but just go with it.

I wanna know: Who else is an original Bossy Queen? Did you see Titanic in 3D?

Photos from huffingtonpost.comwikipedia.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=924416 Dana Rogers
  • http://www.facebook.com/mallorysara Sara Mallory

    um, the character played by Kathy Bates may take poetic license, but I promise you, not fictional.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mallorysara Sara Mallory

    but wait, you know that, because you posted the real pics of her. now I’m just confused.

    • Ali Ashbaker

      Sorry, that was confusing. I just mean that I realize Jack and Rose aren’t real and that the quotes I used are from the movie and not from her real life. She is definitely real!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jbryant6 Jennifer Bryant

    I was obsessed with Titanic as well. So obsessed that I convinced my elementary school principal to allow us to have a Titanic Remembrance Day. In the morning each class watched a 4 hour long documentary that I taped. Yes, I spent hours taping and rerecording the same documentary for 40 or so classes. And in the afternoon, we had a huge event in the gym. I was the emcee, and a friend of mine sang My Heart Will Go On while another friend danced a solo to it.

    I regret nothing. Except maybe what I wore to that event…

    • Ali Ashbaker

      OMG I wish I went to your Elementary School. I just heard that for the anniversary this year they are doing a Titanic reenactment (except for that whole sinking part.) If I had 4 grand, you know I would be on that boat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mollsmcaleer Molly McAleer

    I love Molly Brown! I was named after her! Boss bitch!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=29610605 Brooke Nicole Jones

    Does Titanic Molly Brown have anything to do with the 1964 musical by the name of The Unsinkable Molly Brown? I was obsessed with it as a small child.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jallensummers Jess Allen-Summers

    I love the fictional her in the movie! I totally missed her awesomeness the first time round too. I love how down to earth she is, and that she’s so much nicer than the rest of the first-classers. I’m so pleased someone else picked up on this too!


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