The Heatley Cliff

The Truth about being a Mistress.

This week we take a plunge into the realm of famous mistresses in history. Not because we’re glorifying adultery or the objectifying of women, but to point out  it was a well known role historically and how truly unglamorous it really was. In “days of yore”, marriage between people of royal blood, fame, money or influence was never really about love, but more about advantageous alliances. Therefore, the presence of a mistress was almost a given… as long as it was discreet. 

From the outside looking in, being the other woman can seem exciting. But once you lost your influence, your lover died or you were just simply replaced,  then being the chick on the side always ended badly.

Here’s what we learned about Mistresses…

1. A Mistress was usually a  smart cookie  and held great influence… momentarily. They were not necessarily great beauties, but pretty much ran the show with their smarts and wit. But eventually their influence waned and they were always replaced by someone younger, prettier and most of all, smarter.

2. A Mistress’s priority will not be on their children. And those kids will always remember that! Therefore, you won’t have the option of going to go live with them once you’re importance and relevance as a mistress is done. Pretty sad. You should have taken little Johnny to the park more and not banished him to the nursery.

3. As a Mistress, you will usually die alone. So after you have ignored your kids,  made enemies with your lover’s wife, been replaced by a newer model and manipulated your friends and acquaintances, it’s pretty much a given that not too many people are going to be at your funeral.

4. As a Mistress, you will never have the last laugh.  Because as a Mistress you will never be allowed at your lover’s deathbed. Hellz no will your lover’s real wife let you near him when he’s dying. ‘Coz once he has no more say then you are out the door. Get packing. And that smug look you wore will now be on his wife’s face.

So the moral of the story is that it’s best to be the only woman as opposed to the other woman.

Tune into The Heatley Cliff to learn more life lessons from the mistakes of people in history!

Victorian Traditions image via ShutterStock

Need more Giggles?
Like us on Facebook!

Want more Giggles?
Sign up for our newsletter!