To make this week’s Misogynist Soup, you will need the following ingredients:
- Tim Gunn. You can probably find him in a Parsons workroom somewhere, throwing out gems like “I don’t know” or “This is concerning me.” Isn’t he great?
- Summer’s Eve. Perhaps you can waft some up from your vertical smile.
- Somebody in McKinney, Texas.
“Tim, your argument was poorly constructed and sexist. I’m sorry, you’re out. Auf Wiedersehen!”
Photo via Joe Burbank/Orlando Sentinel.
Reality television star, fashion consultant and super quotable Tim Gunn left us with another one of his famous zingers last week on Lopez Tonight. Debt ceiling, schebt scheiling – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has “cankles” and she’s not making her pantsuits work, according to Gunn. I know. It’s a crisis.
“Why does she dress that way?” Gunn wondered aloud. “I think she’s confused about her gender.”
If only Hil could just be a girl already and shell out $150,000 for a season of garments like Sarah Palin or almost five grand on hair and make-up like Michele Bachmann, we could all relax and focus on how vain and materialistic she is instead. Seriously, when are women in this country going to learn what the appropriate amount of attractiveness is?
After praising her “intellect”, “tenacity” and “what she does for our country in a governmental role”, Gunn concluded his observations on the seamlessness of Clinton’s ankle/calf region and her questionable gender by saying, “I just wish she could send a stronger message about American fashion.”
It’s so weird – Tim Gunn wants Hillary Clinton to be fashionable and I want him to stop being useless, but you can’t always get what you want.
Photo via Summer Eve’s commercial (don’t miss the links below).
Hey, is your vagina innately disgusting?
Hold that thought – the answer is yes, according to Summer’s Eve, but they have a solution. Thank God.
For their “empowerment” campaign, Summer’s Eve urges you to “Hail to the V” – after all, dudes have fought and died (DIED!) for your vagina, so it must be worth taking care of.
Despite the fact that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommend that women avoid douching entirely, Summer’s Eve suggests that we still need “cleansing wash” and “cleansing cloths”, Stacie Barnett, their advertising agency’s PR executive, insisted that these products are totally different than douching products and, in fact, are “no different than hand cream.” Furthermore, they’re what your BFF and vertical smile need. Lest you forget, your vagina implores you to ensure that it smells unnaturally fragrant because if it doesn’t, maybe guys wouldn’t want to wage war over it anymore. And then what would be the point?
Recognizing the shocking revelation that not just Caucasian women have BFFs between their legs, the company also offered additional commercials targeted at women who might not be able to relate to a white talking hand with a vaginal identity crisis (so, all of them?). Here’s one for gals who want to be fresh before they “hit the club”, as well as one for women who say things like “aye-yi-yi” in response to a layover. Yeah. They went there.
In response to the obvious outrage they faced due to the “racial stereotypes” (that’s code for “racism”) depicted in the videos, Summer’s Eve pulled them from YouTube and their website. Barnett said, “We do not think they are stereotypical.” I still don’t think Barnett has actually seen the videos.
I’m also a little disappointed that there wasn’t a commercial specifically geared toward us Asians — perhaps a funky-smelling clam-hand that can’t drive or studies all night or does whatever it is Summer’s Eve thinks us minorities will connect with. I guess we’ll never know.
But I do know this: Summer’s Eve is totally not a hand cream. It is a douche.
A Molotov cocktail.
Photo via SF Weekly.
In an extremely “pro-life” move, a Planned Parenthood clinic in McKinney, Texas was attacked late at night with a Molotov cocktail. This particular clinic doesn’t provide abortions.
A glass bottle of with diesel fuel and a lit rag fuse caused a small fire at the entrance of the building but did not cause any injuries. A Planned Parenthood official said it did create “serious damage” to the facility, but the police were able to clean up the damage in time for the clinic to open for business the following morning.
Planned Parenthood tweeted, “We’re open for business today in McKinney, b/c our patients depend on us & our resolve to serve the community is strong as ever.”
Although it doesn’t appear that any suspects have been apprehended, I’d like to offer my investigative prowess to anyone looking for a lead. His or her solution to not wanting the public to receive birth control pills or pap smears was to toss a Molotov cocktail at them, so you can probably find the offender at the local college still trying to pass a logic course. You’re welcome.
Source: Huffington Post.
Combine all ingredients and bring them to a boil, much like my blood pressure is at the moment. You’ll know it’s done when it tastes like misogyny with a hint of “please tell me this isn’t real life.” Enjoy!