Admit it.

The first thing you do when you like a dude is cast your gaze downwards….

Because you’ve got to check out the shoes.

Now I certainly don’t stand by most of the “rules” I made up when I was 12. I pair navy with black, enjoy tapered (“skinny”) jeans and don’t find coffee disgusting (more a necessity).

But I do stand by the proclamation I wrote in the winter of ‘97: “The key to compatibility is checking out a boy’s shoes.”

Some might call it superficial, but it’s always worked for me.

Shoes on dudes are a personality signifier, more important than any other piece of clothing. And if a dude enjoys shoes that I really don’t, then I know from experience that we won’t work. Listen, I’m not being mean, I’m being realistic!

I’m saving both parties from a date that lacks stimulation. Who needs dull conversation or extra calories from drinks consumed in a vain attempt to spice that bad date up?

It’s not that I’m demanding pricey kicks either – I simply like shoes that are plain, un-fussy and relatively “boy-like”.

Vans, Converse, even generic Keds can work. I’ll also accept boat shoes, boots (preferably suede – though not a deal breaker) or Nikes or old school Adidas or even round toed casuals that are leather and sleek.

Really, I just like the classics.

But I can’t stand new balance running shoes that are laced up real tight, leaving the ends big and puffy. I think square-toed styles should have died with N’Sync and I wonder why those vaguely European bowling shoes are still in rotation? Loafers that are long and come with elastic, seemingly imported from Jersey make me throw up (just a little bit), and can someone please tell me why guys are allowed to wear hiking shoes away from the hike?!  Don’t even get me started about shoes that have skulls or rhinestones or pointy toes. They are just NOT going to cut it.

Okay… so maybe I’m a little superficial. And maybe your tastes are different than mine.

But admit it.

You all do the same!

Right?

Image via Concrete Loop