The Real Reasons Girls Call Other Girls "Fat"Sara Brown

Girls can be mean especially to each other. We are especially critical on each other when it comes to looks and appearances. We can be catty by calling other girls “ugly” or “fat.”

I have always hated the word “fat” it is such an unkind, hateful word. It is a word meant to bring people down. I have never been one to be overly critical about other girls or comment about other girls’ weight. However, I’m human and have sadly said some unflattering things about other girls. Something I always regretted instantly.

Girls who are constantly critiquing other girls’ appearances have always rubbed me the wrong way. I never really knew why but it always left a bitter taste in my mouth and wanting to punch them in the face with a fork.

Then one day the reason hit me. I was at lunch with a good friend when a girl walked by in a dress that was just a little bit too tight.

“Ugh, she is way too fat for that dress,” my friend said.

This friend, who had an amazing body in my opinion, has always been overly body conscious.  I realized in that moment when she was calling another female fat, it was just her insecurities coming out.

I think to some of the girls I know who made a habit of calling other girls fat and they were probably some of the most insecure girls I know. It’s simple psychology really. Someone who constantly feels the need to belittle others is the real one who is struggling with something inside.

Now every girl suffers from some sort of body image issues and I am no different. There was a time when I would purposely avoid mirrors so I didn’t have to look at myself. However, time heals all wounds and I have not only accepted my body but learned to loved it.

Once I learned to love myself and my body, I quickly stopped caring about others’ appearances. I no longer felt intimidated by others or cared what others thought. I also no longer felt the need to comment about other girls’ weight or looks.

When you call someone “fat” “chubby” or “ugly”, you are not really saying something about that person. You are revealing something about yourself. You are saying this person intimates me so I am going to insult them or I’m going to insult this person to make myself feel better briefly. So, congratulations, not only do you seem like a bitch but an insecure one at that.

Remember every after school special about bullies? You never could understand why that character behaved the way they did. Then, they got to the bully’s backstory and their parents were getting a divorce or something like that. They took out all their frustrations on someone who they perceived as weaker than them. In reality, it had nothing to do with the person being bullied and everything to do with the bully. It’s kind of like that.

Calling someone “fat” is taking all of these repressed bad feelings you have about yourself and throwing them onto an innocent victim. It’s you trying to deflect your own problems by pointing out somebody else’s.

If another girl’s appearance or weight bothers you that much then stop looking at them! Turn around. Problem solved.

Also, shouldn’t us females stick together? It’s bad enough when the media calls Kate Upton or Olympic athletes fat. Shouldn’t we try to bring each other up instead of tearing each other down. Where is our “Girl Power” spirit? The Spice Girls would be so disappointed in us.

At the end of the day, this type of behavior just isn’t nice. Who wants to be known as the mean girl?

My challenge to you ladies is the the next time you feel a mean word on the tip of your tongue, take a step back. Think to yourself why you really feel the need to cut someone down.

Anyway, aren’t we all beautiful in our own way?

Image Via SheKnows.com

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  1. i have always found that the nastier the comments out of somebody’s mouth about other people, the more unhappy they are with themselves.

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  3. I think an important thing to note is: why is “fat” the worst thing you could be? I think a greater insult is saying “Oh my gosh, she is so vapid/boring/shallow.” Those are truly awful things so be.

  4. A wonderful piece centered around a stereotype of women. Thank you for helping keep this one alive. I don’t think being catty or mean is particular to women, it is a trait of a small minded person. Attributing this trait to women suggests this small mindedness is common place in our sex. I can honestly say I do not see it being that way. A short coming in yourself and friends is not a short coming in our whole sex. I find most of this article offensive. Your amateur, at best, psychoanalysis of a bully leaves much to be desired. Your assumptions of women are astounding and show a lack of understanding of life beyond adolescence. Having insecurities does not force someone to be small minded and mean. While you learned to love yourself and stop judging others, I only see that you stopped being cruel. Plenty of people with insecurities are not name calling and cruel, just as not every mean person is insecure (that is a bedtime story told to us to make us feel better). Good luck in your future endeavors, and please try to us more inspirational figures in future articles.

  5. This article is embarrassing. It also seems rather self serving, and the lady writing it seems disingenuous: “I” always hated the word fat.” “I think people who say it are just insecure.” “I have NEVER been overly critical…except when I have.” And she sounds like she’s writing for Bop or Tiger Beat magazine, which she slams home with this prize winning bit of insight: “when you call someone something mean you know what? You’re really saying it about YOURSELF!” Thank you, and how is Justin Biebers hair doing today? The title of this article sets you up to think you’re going to get an actual in depth, revealing bit of insight into the topic, but you’re not. And to finish it all off with a “go girl power!” salute, and actually speak of how the Spice Girls would be so disappointed? Christ. Maybe cast a wider net for who you decide should be your empowering female role models, lady.

    • I thought I was the only one who thought this about this article, so I didn’t want to say anything but you’re completely right. The headline drew me in; I was ready for a sincere and well-written article and all I read seemed to be from a bitter plus-size girl herself who is probably lashing out due to personal issues, all while perpetuating the skinny bashing trend. As a previous commenter said, being completely at piece with your body is knowing that if you’re fat, you’re fat and there’s truth to that.

      I think there could have definitely been a more educated way to present this discussion Hello Giggles, and while I”m glad someone brought it up, the writer should have more maturity and a better sense of grammar and poise to express it. If you’re attempting to be witty, I think it’s clear you should stay away from hot-button topics like women’s weight and stick to frivolous things like Justin Beiber’s hair, to quote my friend above me.

  6. Wherever you go and whatever you do you will bring yourself with you. All of your issues and all of your dreams will be there with you.

  7. Thank you for writing this amazing article. I totally agree with you. I’ve never understood why women keep criticizing each other. You were born with a body, learn to love it. It doesn’t matter if you’re curvy, slim, skinny… This body is what makes you. You can change physically, but you’ll always be beautiful. It may not be easy to love you own body, but as time goes by, it’ll be easier for you to do so. You are unique, and so is everyone else. Let’s love our peers!

  8. I’ll tell you…I had that EXACT REVELATION about 5 years ago and IT IS THE TRUTH!

  9. It’s is the universe’s mirror for us to realise our own self judgements, and heal them. Until we do the self healing work, the mirror will continue to show us what we do not love about ourselves. Namaste!

  10. Mean girls are the unhappiest girls. True story. High fives to all the nice girls out there- fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, bald and hairy. There is never an excuse to be an a**hole.

  11. I think this is an interesting article and I understand and honor the point you are making, but you really need to proofread and edit for grammar and spelling mistakes before submitting.

  12. girls call each other fat
    guys compare muscles.
    consumerism has taught us how to live.

    makes sense.

  13. How do you punch someone in the face with a fork? Not heckling, I really want to know.
    But seriously, this is a fantastic article. Thank you!

  14. The thing is, fat isn’t this made up fantasy land thing that doesn’t exist. Fatness is a real thing! It’s the way that we use the word that’s so bizarre. I’m fat and 75% of the time I’m 90% okay with it. Someone calling me fat doesn’t really hurt my feelings because, Yeah. I know. But fat seems to be the go-to insult when it comes to women because we’ve all been taught that fat (along with ugly) is one of the absolute worst things in the world for us to be. Some of us are fat, some of us are skinny, some of us are somewhere in between – but for goodness sakes, let’s start using our words when we feel the need to critique another woman for whatever reason. And, of course, think about our reasoning for the criticism in the first place.

  15. <3 we are all beautiful in our own unique way!

    • Totally agree with you. We should be reminded that all the time. And if you do have curves, be proud of yourself, they make you prettier

  16. This article reminded me of this video…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWiZxcIrR1U

    Jenna is wise… and funny!

  17. here here!