Many believe that little girls who grow up playing with Barbie dolls will come to have a distorted image of what the female body should be. Barbie can make girls feel like they have to be tall, skinny, blonde, tan, have large breasts and perfect feet for high heels. Well, in human form, the proportions aren’t as desirable as the doll may lead young girls to believe.
Barbie as an actual woman would be approximately, “5’9”, have a 39” bust, an 18” waist, 33” hips, and a size 3 shoe.” I would hope that if anyone could actually visualize the human version of their doll in this way, they wouldn’t want to look like one. At least not literally, right? Wrong. Which is why humans are so awesome! There is literally one person who thinks just about anything is a good idea. And in this case, two humans, because where would Barbie be without her Ken?
The “Real Human Barbie” is Ukranian 23-year-old Valeria Lukyanova. She has already spent $800,000 on her “look”, which may or may not definitely include surgical enhancements. It pains me to do this breakdown for you, but here it goes. Let’s pretend this girl actually had the money and is not festering in debt. With 800k, she could have earned 3.45 Harvard undergrad degrees or purchased 80 Hermès Birkin Bags or bought just shy of a decade of court side Bulls season tickets or closed on a really nice house/apartment or bought a fleet of 2013 Range Rovers or proposed to herself with 2.29 of the engagement rings that creepy old man Olivier Sarkozy gave MK Olsen. Point is, she could have bought a lot of nice things, but she didn’t. She sank all that money into making herself look like an anime doll and I’m not sure how many young girls who play with Barbie would go so far as to do the same. I’m also not sure if there are enough “anime appearances” to pay that bill off.
Anyway, Ken is 32-year-old Justin Jedlica of New York City. He’s had 90 surgeries so far – including silicone implants in his butt, stomach, biceps, triceps and chest (yes, male boob job). I mean, $100,000 later, he does look plastic, but he’s not even done yet. After all, perfection is so hard to achieve.
I would think this pair would be a match made in Mattel factory heaven, but the two met and it didn’t go very well. While Jedlica found Lukyanova to be “beautiful”, he also said in an interview with HuffPost Weird: “It appears to me that much of her look is added makeup, fake hair and ‘slimming’ corsets … Drag queens have put on the same illusions with makeup and costumes for years.” Meaning- she’s not good enough for him.
I’m sorry, Lukyanova may look absurd – and trust me, I think she does – but okay dude, you’ve had over 90 surgeries. I certainly don’t expect this guy to look beyond “imperfections” and appreciate Barbie’s personality, but based on his looks, I don’t really think he’s in a place to judge.
So what now? Will Barbie and Ken be able to find true plastic love? Maybe, but I really don’t know if I want that to happen.
Do you think Ken should have gone for Barbie? What do you think of this “body mod” movement? Let us know in the comments!
Featured image via HuffPost Weird