You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.
You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
God, this is SO great – thank you
I really needed this, and especially to see all of the comments of everyone else giving the “amen!” to feeling the same way. People say that being a TEENAGER is hard – honestly, puberty has nothing compared to literally being thrown into the world with gobs of debt, zero financial security and big dreams – the 20s make teen years seem like a long lost trip to Disney Land.
the best thing about this article being posted is realizing that i’m not the only one going through this scary and confusing time. it’s like, i want to make mistakes while i’m “young” but at the same time i’m afraid those mistakes will cost me the future. this phase doesn’t even make sense but i’m glad it’s something that is actually normal to go through.
I’m framing this and hanging it on my bedroom wall for sure!!! It really helps to read this words, so much… thank you, I needed this, you posted it at the exact perfect time
I have it saved in a few different places, so it’s always at my fingertips! Happy you enjoyed
This is amazing. I literally was just in the midst of a tearful quarter-life crisis moment, so I needed this for sure. Why did no one warn us that growing up would be so hard?
Candice! This is amazing! I’m partly there. So grateful for the warning! Thanks for sharing, soul sistaaa!
You got it girl! Keep your head up!
I realized at 25 no one will ever take care of me but me. I’m 30 now and sturggling finacinally anf having panic attackes about the future. You can’t ever depend on anyone, not friends, not family just yourself. Be careful who are are friends with and who you take advice from. I had friends get jealous of my successes as small as they were because they didn’t want to get left behind. A real friend would congratulate you. You will always have to weed out the bad people in youe life.
I swear these are all my thoughts rolled into one! So glad there are others feeling this way.
This is exactly where I am at right now, so thank you, I needed that. Everyone talks about how you’ll go through that awkward teenage phase and how you may struggle to find a job after college… these things are normal. No one mentions this part of life and how yes, it will in fact happen to you too (if at all for that matter).
I’ve definitely gone through every word of this, and while I’ve recognized it in myself, I didn’t know it was part of a phase of growing up. Especially this part: “You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.” That’s actually probably my least favorite part of growing up.
My favorite part: You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. This is so incredibly true.
Thanks for sharing this! I totally concur with all the above… when I mention to people recently that I’m going through my quarter-life crisis I get some odd looks… but it’s totes real and it’s nice to know others feel the same too!
I had full-on, vicious quarter-life crisis, so this is completely great! I think the best piece of advice I found during that time was “do not compare yourself with others.” Even the ones who seem like they have it all together are confused on the inside. As the years pass, you watch your friends go through their own quarter-life crisis and you realize no one has it together as much as it may appear like they do.
oh my… i have been lamenting on these thoughts for almost a year now… and reading this comforts me. I am a 23-year-old confused girl who doesn’t know what she wants in life…
I did as well! It’s brilliant how it pretty much covers everything I have been thinking and worrying about recently…good to know we’re not alone!
I needed this. Being an adult is so much harder than I could’ve ever imagined.