The Perfect Updo With Nothing to Do

Why do I make the best buns and updos when I am home alone, and usually getting ready to do some cleaning? It’s like my hair likes to get really fancy to wash some dishes. When I’m picking up rejected outfits that were draped over chairs (and okay, let’s be honest – some are in a pile on the floor), well, that’s when my hair looks the best. Those few wisps have come down to frame my face  – you know the kind. They say “Oh hello, I’ve just arrived on the red carpet for this awards show on the arm of George Clooney.”

Now, I’ll be the first to admit – yes, it’s been a couple of days since my last shampoo and conditioning (and weather/ frizz-proof gel application), but a little grease can be your friend! It holds the right strands in place like a natural hairspray.

Have you seen the movie “Like Crazy”? Can we please discuss the main character, Anna, played by Felicity Jones? She has confirmed that she did some of her own hair and makeup for the movie – they wanted the characters to seem as normal as possible. Well, here’s why that’s false: she had the most perfect buns I’ve ever seen! Did they take hours? Or maybe it’s one of those magical buns that just sort of twirl themselves into a masterpiece at the best location on top of your head? I bet she had to trick her hair into thinking she was about to do some dusting instead of acting her butt off, and then just when her hair went along with it and got into perfect formation, she stepped in front of the camera.  The film “Like Crazy” is about a relationship between a guy and a girl, but it also describes the way my hair makes me feel sometimes.

Alanis Morissette needs to do a remix or update her song with something like “It’s like the perfect updo when you’ve got nothing to do”, because that truly is ironic. I can flip my head over and stand up straight with the perfect messy bun in place, but when I’m trying to do a classy, neat bun for work, all professionalism goes out the window when I’m late because of the many precious minutes I spent trying to guide each strand to its proper place.

Is this just a cruel cosmetic joke? You know those commercials where the girl has her hair in a bun, removes one pin and it all falls gracefully down to her shoulders? Imagine watching that in rewind – that’s how beautifully my hair goes up when I’ve just slipped into my PJs. The second I put on a sparkly dress, my hair refuses to cooperate and struggles to be free, like a child wiggling free from the confines of a winter jacket.

Do we have to just accept this as one of life’s beauty mysteries? Is it like trying to figure out why we open our mouths when applying mascara or why a little bit of glittery lotion suddenly makes everything you own sparkly? Does hair feel the pressure of having to look perfect so sometimes it just gives up? I mean, I can understand that, I just need an explanation! Plus, what happens when I leave the house looking like I have bouncy beautiful flawless tresses and then I arrive at my destination looking like my hair lost all enthusiasm for the day? All I’m saying is: hair, let’s work together please!