“You hurt my feelings” or “My feelings are hurt” are expressions that I and many others and are being accused of overusing. We, as the splendid human beings we are, are constantly stating our hurt feelings and sometimes even expect others to fix said feelings. Everyone has the need to be heard and understood and everyone should be. But they don’t have to be. As a proud member of the Overly Sensitive Club, (some might even call me the president), I have often wondered if being overly sensitive was a curse and other times felt it was a blessing. It really isn’t either of those but it is my situation and I plan to work the hell out of it. To me, someone’s hurt feelings are always valid but it doesn’t always make them right. One person’s situation is most likely very different from another’s and it’s all relative.
Sensitive people sometimes can’t stand other sensitive people, shockingly enough. I am always surprised at that. I almost assume it’s like being in a sorority – if we are both sensitive, there is an expectation for us suddenly connect with each other. Not the case, guys – sorry. I have had to learn over the years to let less and less affect me. I call it my “end of the world feeling”. When I was younger, a fight with my parents or friends at school could send me in such a tizzy that it would feel like the universe was crashing down around me.
Remember middle school and high school when each week it felt like a different friend was being dismissed from the “clique”? When it happened to you, it felt devastating. As I get older, I have to fight back going to that place because truthfully – as adults – there is no room for that.
All the added energy you spend by being upset really gets you nowhere. Every self help book will tell you that and I have read lots so you can just listen to me. However, while moving on from a situation that you find hurtful is beneficial, keeping your feelings bottled up is simply not. Do not be afraid to be the “sensitive one” or the one who people have to “walk on eggshells around”. This only works if you make an effort to be sensitive to others; if not, then I’m sorry, you should just learn to act like a decent human. I shouldn’t have to parent you.
Declare your hurt feelings to whomever you please, whenever you want. Fear no emotional breakdown or crying spiral attack – it’s all human and all in the name of life. But the trick here is to never ever expect a reaction or a cure from someone else, unless it’s a professional, because that’s their job.
Join me in my cause to let sensitive people be. We are growing in numbers but lacking in support.
Image via sexyangdaosheng.blogspot.com.