- When you are being murdered
- When you are witnessing a murder
- When someone shows up with a surprise pizza
- When your jam comes on
- During a game of tennis*
- Christmas morning when you see that new bike under the tree
- When sporting events get really intense**
- After you win anything on the radio***
- If you’re being kidnapped
- Over loud music at a club****
- When you are real mad*****
- Sex, duh, but that’s kind of embarrassing******
*This is really just more of an advanced grunt that borders on a scream.
**Like, actually really intense. Like, you probably can’t scream until the second half of anything.
***Or when they play the song you requested.
****You don’t always have to scream. Sometimes talking closer to someone’s ear in a normal voice is more effective than screaming from six inches away. That’s why some people think I’m a close talker, I think. I mean, I am, but I also don’t want to scream a bunch.
******But not if you’re somewhere that losers can hear you or you’re gross or I know you and it will ruin me.
the times in which screaming is unacceptable:
- In a movie theater unless it’s the early to mid 1900s and movies are still new for you
- All other times
[This piece was originally published on MollsSheWrote and was edited for language.]