Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?
Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth.
- Lead singer of The Go-Go’s, Belinda Carlisle, in her only hit song “Heaven is a Place on Earth” and/or me talking about mattresses.
My number one hobby mattresses. Some may walk by their local bakery with a wistful eye towards the bear claws. Others may slowly stroll along the sidewalk while window shopping at Neiman Marcus. I, on the other hand, sigh and look longingly into the windows of any and all Sleepy’s Mattresses.
I like them all. I like the firm innerspring mattresses that keep your back aligned, the plush foam ones that give way to your body’s curves. Even water beds occasionally serve their purpose, which I guess is to let you know what it feels like if you fall asleep on circa 2000 Marlon Brando’s stomach.
I dream of owning a Mattress Room. A room without flooring or furniture, just a mattress the entire size of the room and a large wall-mounted television screen. There will be no food, drink or hanky-panky allowed in Mattress Room. Do you know how hard it is to find extra sheets for a 20 foot wide mattress? Mattress Room is strictly for my three favorite pastimes: Sleeping, napping, and chilling.
Last night I stayed over a friend’s apartment and the only sleeping service promised to me was something called a LoveSac. Though I was hesitant about my upcoming sleepy time, the moment I plopped myself down I knew I had found the closest thing to Heaven I will ever experience. What appeared to be nothing more than an oversize bean bag chair turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to my body. 80’s love song lyrics swirled in my head as I let waves of comfort-induced euphoria rake my body. As I watched the shadows of branches dance on the ceiling, a solitary tear came to my eye when I realized I finally knew what love was and that it was residing within a DuraFoam-filled piece of cloth and not, as I had previously expected, within a man who shared my interests and hobbies.
To own a LoveSac is my new life goal. I even have a week-long blogging series to go along with it; How LoveSacs Feel on Monday, How LoveSacs Feel on Tuesday, How… you get the picture.
Harriet Tubman had abolitionism, Louis and Clark had expeditions, Susan B. Anthony had the fight for dollar coins and women’s rights. I merely desire a new and alternative sleeping surface.
image via LoveSac
Caragh Poh is a 23 year old living in Massachusetts. She enjoys falling asleep to soothing documentaries about serial killers or unusual sexual fetishes. She doesn’t have a rock collection, focusing instead on collecting a running list of Things That Shouldn’t Give Her Anxiety, But Do. Though Caragh is in the midst of receiving her degree in English, she is currently in the process of switching her major over to Kardashian with a concentration in Khloe. You can find her blog at whydoihaveablog.net if that’s the sort of thing you’re into finding.