Broke and SingleThe Guy With the Six-Pack Isn't Boyfriend MaterialAlec Banks

We’re a weight-obsessed culture. Women want to be thinner and men want to pack on rippling muscles so their arms, legs, chest and abs appear like speed bumps underneath their one-size too small fitting articles of clothing. The idea of the perfect body is only achievable in a plastic world where either a person’s only responsibility is to work out, or where God’s gifts have been exchanged for a devilish upgrade that health insurance doesn’t cover. What people fail to realize is that a perfect outer facade often comes with some troublesome rumblings on the inside.

In Los Angeles, working out at the gym is as required as a driver’s license. In fact, lines form to operate machines in the very same manner. Women are trim. Men stand in front of the mirrors lustfully looking at themselves like they can’t wait to drop the dumbbell in their hand and pick up the rope in between their legs when they get home. But the real alarming trend is the “average” people who stare at these individuals like they’re fitness royalty. I can literally see the thought bubbles popping above their heads that read, “I’d like to wash my delicates on that washboard.” Well, I’ve got news for you, ladies – that guy with the six pack isn’t right for you – or anyone, for that matter. Just like you wanted a pony when you were 8, you somehow assume you want the guy with an unbreakable core at 28. Just say no.

Ladies, a man with sextuplet muscles on his stomach automatically assumes he can have sex with you. Why do you think he did it? To be healthy? Pish posh. Someone who works out to that extent wants something for their troubles besides a clean bill of health from the doctor. With every crunch, that juice junkie somehow assumes that anything personality-related becomes a non-issue when it comes to dealing members of the opposite sex for dating purposes. Find a guy who likes working out, but not a guy who likes sweating in lieu of substance.

As a society, working out has become more about vanity than health. People congregate in these health clubs to be either admired, or to stare at the bodies we wish we could have as we slave away on a elliptical machine that won’t get us anywhere. Slowly but surely, we’re working to a place where men don’t expect women to look like that dazzling starlet from the latest Michael Bay movie who is plump in places and bony in others. Then surely women need to understand that having a six-pack shouldn’t be a prerequisite for manliness . Unrealistic body expectations are a two-way street. So date the skinny guy. Date the fat guy. They’re real people who don’t have enough time to do a 1,000 crunches because they’ve got personality and moxie to lean on. More women need to practice what they preach about their own bodies and stop lusting after perpetually shirtless and tanned mounds of ground chuck. Real guys. Real girls. Let’s go make some chubby babies.

  • James Armadio II

    Oh sweet jusus cryst wut iz goin on in hereeeee.

    The author gave me a good laugh, he showed his ignorance, stupidity, and how presumptuous he is in a single sentence. Stay mad skinnyfag

  • Anupriya Patel

    your statements and inductive reasoning are proved wrong by the fact that socrates, plato, aristotle and pythagoras basically any ancient philosopher went to the gymnasium every single day, not to look good but to be powerful. plato and socrates have left their mark and molded all the good parts of western civilization they also both fought in multiple battles. Aeschylus wrote the most beautiful and tragic plays that are still mesmerizing and heart breakingly beautiful to this day, he was an athenian who like all athenian males went to the gym every day, he one many play comptetitions but he was most proud of the power he *earned* in the gym and allowed him to slay many a persian on the battlefield of marathon.

    not everyone trains to look good, people train to have power to protect their beliefs and the ones they love. there are many roads to the top of the mountain, exercise to many is just another form of meditation that helps them become better.

    just because he’s met a few superficial people that go to the gym doesn’t mean all gym-goers are superficial. this is insulting.

    • Johannes H. Verduin

      Lack of punctuation aside, I couldn’t help but promote this comment.

  • Deniz Hacısüleyman

    I bet thousand bucks a fat guy wrote this.

  • Tim Dragonwagon Riley

    do you even lift?

  • Johannes H. Verduin

    If the skinny guy and the fat guy had any kind of personality and character they would take care of their health.

    This black and white approach of yours is immature and reprehensible. Life isn’t that simple.

  • Jason Walters

    Do you even lift?

  • Desmond Wei Liang Chiam

    Well, this is a little offensive to those of us who just like to live a healthy lifestyle. I fit the criteria, and as an incidental sort of thing to my health habits I work as a model. But I’m also incredibly shy around women and have dated the same girl in a committed long distance relationship for four years. Should I tell her to break up with me?

  • John Orcutt

    I think he’s just completely ignorant which is not all together unusual in this day-and-age. I’m a 28 yr old graduate student in Aerospace Engineering – last semester I taught class, did research and took credits – this semester it’s just finishing up research, more class, and planning 2 international weddings. I also happen to find the time to get to the gym 4-6 d/wk and pay attention to what I eat.

    The author is either completely uneducated about fitness or a mass reader ego-stroking baffoon. Nobody does 1,000 crunches a day to get abs. Nobody even does crunches to get abs. People who have a cut physique understand this. It’s about diet, which means it’s about discipline – something that someone with a non-American fiance can authoritatively say most Americans lack in spades when it comes to food.

    It’s quite easy to get lean if you’re responsible, determined and half-educated about the subject. Lean doesn’t mean rippled, but if you’re male, under 40, and not saddled with some strange genetic condition, you’re say 50% likely to have the genetics necessary to get a sixpack if you put the work in. Live in calorie deficit long enough while still getting good nutrition and you WILL get it. It’s that simple.

    It’s not magic, and it’s certainly not indicative of a narcissistic, self-absorbed superficial personality. You just assume that because you assume it’s much harder than it is.

  • Adam Frost

    is this a joke?
    like… does the author actually think this? Or is she just trying to troll people?
    because i don’t see how anyone could ever believe this. sure, some people do train just for girls, but that doesn’t mean they’re immediately dickheads.
    i don’t train for girls, i train because i love pushing myself as hard as i can go. in fact, i want to compete in powerlifting in a couple years. I have abs, does this make me undateable?
    Ok, i’m off to the gym to get that 85kg powerclean.
    also i avoid talking about my muscles and fitness as much as possible. I get sort of embarrassed when people realise i’m muscular now, so i just try cover it up. i exercise because i legitimately love it. i understand that’s something you will never understand due to your lazy fat acceptance moentality, but maybe if you thought to step out of your little box and think about things in another person’s perspective you could achieve something more than being an unhealthy, bitter ignoramus.

  • Ursula Chin

    This article is ludicrous. It is completely biased and based on intangible facts and stereotypes. Shame on you hellogiggles. Shame on you all.

  • Conor Curtis

    This is a terrible article, and I’m amazed there are people out there in the world who agree with it. Amazed, saddened, and fucking furious. If I was to write an article about how obese people are wilfully ignorant of their health & a living embodiment of failure (in this case, failure to you know, BE A HEALTHY WEIGHT), I’d get buttravaged by Internet hordes promoting “equality” and “acceptance”.

    Well then why the fuck aren’t you accepting of the fact that some people like to exercise? Hell, the fact that you mentioned crunches as a legitimate exercise and used the term “juice junkie” clearly shows you have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m going to go back to the deadlifting platform and push myself to the limits of my peak potential. Feel free to waddle over to the fridge and finish off that tub of ice cream you bought yourself because you were “so good” by going for a walk to the park & back.

    Also, to the guy above me: You’re not a nice guy. If you were, you wouldn’t be so bitter about the fact that women prefer men who aren’t you. That’s pretty fucking sexist, and that makes you a pretty horrible human being. Step the fuck up.

  • Tony Baker

    Absolutely genius! I totally agree that men with abs are fake and should be avoided as much as possible. They are self-centered assholes, living in a shallow bubble. There’s a jock in my class, he is ripped to shreds and you know why? He has fast metabolism. It’s so unfair because I see girls hanging out with him and I know (they too) that they will get their hearts broken. He is a player! A man without a soul. Simply because he had luck in the genpool and looks like a Greek god.

    The world is unfair. I mean, do you even lift? Because I don’t. I don’t need that shit to feel inner-peace and feel comfortable. I am a nice guy since birth with a golden heart and I will not let girls see me as a lay only, nor an object. I am a nice guy since birth and I will always be — because I am proud of it.

  • Dave Coleman

    A 6-pack is a result of diet, not exercise. You could never set foot in the gym, exert some discipline on your eating habits, and have that 6-pack. I don’t see how discipline and self control make a person a bad mate.

    What this article really points out is how badly modern media has twisted reality. We’ve been told so many lies that we’ve begun to resent those that have maintained their health. This article is just sour grapes, based on ignorance. Spend some of your time doing real health and fitness research; that’s time better spent. And you’ll never have to set foot in the gym, unless you want to build muscle.

  • Jessica Engel

    I can see your thought process behind this article…and I’m sure it’s true in some cases, but I have to disagree. As with all things, some guys work out just to attract women (and might end up being vain a$$holes). Others really like to work out just to feel more confident or content or just plain healthy. I know that I love to work out. I love feeling sore muscles and I love the feeling of running into the sun after work…it makes me feel happy and alive and confident (in a “I could do anything” sort of way). So I can see your point about giving the “normal” guy a chance…but normal can also be with awesome abs :)

  • Chris Foott

    This article is completely Prejudiced.
    Not all people who go to the gym are stupid, vein, meatheads.
    People think that you need to spend half your life in the gym to get a good body. Those people are wrong! A good body is made in the kitchen. Does it make me a bad person because I prefer to eat fish & veg instead of a big mac meal?
    Many people with six packs only spend about 1-1 1/2 hours in the gym 3-6 times a week.
    I bet the average person spends far more time than this sat silently in front of the tv watching crap whilst eating crap.
    There are too many benefits to a healthy lifestyle for me to even bother mentioning.
    If more people went to the gym, then half of the western world wouldn’t be obese!
    As for the point of this article, I’m not vein. I don’t go the gym to impress girls. I’m gettingarried in 6 months and my fiancée wouldn’t care whether I went to the gym or not. But the fact that I do doesn’t affect our relationship.
    I’m also a firefighter (and no I didn’t join that job just to impress the ladies either). So it’s vital for me to stay in shape. But I would go the gym even if I worked in an office.
    I am educated, with several qualifications.
    I can only assume that the author of this article has some personal issues of her own. She probably just wishes that she was in better shape, but is too lazy to do anything about it :)
    Rant over.

  • Kati Ber

    I never wanted the “guy with the sixpack”
    Some of my girlfriends keep mocking me about that, but I dont really care… Intelligence is far more sexy than a stupid sixpack ^^

  • Hayley Bergan

    I’m a firm believer that your personality is based more on how you were raised. Some people use gym time as their escape (I know I do). Some people are paid to stay in shape (the military, athletes, etc). Doesn’t make them bad people. I for one am glad that the military gives/makes time for me to hit the gym on work hours. There are some real sweethearts out there with six-pack abs. I can pretty much promise you that the guys in those Special Warfare jobs aren’t working out for the ladies. Wonderful people come in all shapes and sizes and so do aholes. :)

  • Amy Porter

    Trust me, fat guys can be assholes too.

  • Samantha Garrison

    Isn’t judging a guy for his six pack just as bad as being judged for being chubby or curvy or too-thin? That guy might have an easy time building muscle mass and may, in his spare time, be a major league level gamer. Until we get to know him as a person, we can’t make that judgment – and it’s still harmful body-policing.
    And it should go without saying that a lot of people in LA forgo the gym – just go to any beach or state park or neighborhood with joggers to see that there are better options. It’s one of the friendliest cities, and I hate that it gets such a bad rap based on perceptions fed to us by MTV. I’m a (transplant) resident of Los Angeles, a fitness fan who has never owned a gym membership, and who dates an amazingly wonderful dude with a belly, and I totally resent this article. Let’s not judge – let’s talk to Mr. Six Pack from the gym and go from there, yeah?

  • Jess Simmonds

    “moxie”, what a good word!

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