Broke and Single

The Guy With the Six-Pack Isn't Boyfriend Material

We’re a weight-obsessed culture. Women want to be thinner and men want to pack on rippling muscles so their arms, legs, chest and abs appear like speed bumps underneath their one-size too small fitting articles of clothing. The idea of the perfect body is only achievable in a plastic world where either a person’s only responsibility is to work out, or where God’s gifts have been exchanged for a devilish upgrade that health insurance doesn’t cover. What people fail to realize is that a perfect outer facade often comes with some troublesome rumblings on the inside.

In Los Angeles, working out at the gym is as required as a driver’s license. In fact, lines form to operate machines in the very same manner. Women are trim. Men stand in front of the mirrors lustfully looking at themselves like they can’t wait to drop the dumbbell in their hand and pick up the rope in between their legs when they get home. But the real alarming trend is the “average” people who stare at these individuals like they’re fitness royalty. I can literally see the thought bubbles popping above their heads that read, “I’d like to wash my delicates on that washboard.” Well, I’ve got news for you, ladies – that guy with the six pack isn’t right for you – or anyone, for that matter. Just like you wanted a pony when you were 8, you somehow assume you want the guy with an unbreakable core at 28. Just say no.

Ladies, a man with sextuplet muscles on his stomach automatically assumes he can have sex with you. Why do you think he did it? To be healthy? Pish posh. Someone who works out to that extent wants something for their troubles besides a clean bill of health from the doctor. With every crunch, that juice junkie somehow assumes that anything personality-related becomes a non-issue when it comes to dealing members of the opposite sex for dating purposes. Find a guy who likes working out, but not a guy who likes sweating in lieu of substance.

As a society, working out has become more about vanity than health. People congregate in these health clubs to be either admired, or to stare at the bodies we wish we could have as we slave away on a elliptical machine that won’t get us anywhere. Slowly but surely, we’re working to a place where men don’t expect women to look like that dazzling starlet from the latest Michael Bay movie who is plump in places and bony in others. Then surely women need to understand that having a six-pack shouldn’t be a prerequisite for manliness . Unrealistic body expectations are a two-way street. So date the skinny guy. Date the fat guy. They’re real people who don’t have enough time to do a 1,000 crunches because they’ve got personality and moxie to lean on. More women need to practice what they preach about their own bodies and stop lusting after perpetually shirtless and tanned mounds of ground chuck. Real guys. Real girls. Let’s go make some chubby babies.

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