Broke and Single

The Guy With the Six-Pack Isn't Boyfriend Material

We’re a weight-obsessed culture. Women want to be thinner and men want to pack on rippling muscles so their arms, legs, chest and abs appear like speed bumps underneath their one-size too small fitting articles of clothing. The idea of the perfect body is only achievable in a plastic world where either a person’s only responsibility is to work out, or where God’s gifts have been exchanged for a devilish upgrade that health insurance doesn’t cover. What people fail to realize is that a perfect outer facade often comes with some troublesome rumblings on the inside.

In Los Angeles, working out at the gym is as required as a driver’s license. In fact, lines form to operate machines in the very same manner. Women are trim. Men stand in front of the mirrors lustfully looking at themselves like they can’t wait to drop the dumbbell in their hand and pick up the rope in between their legs when they get home. But the real alarming trend is the “average” people who stare at these individuals like they’re fitness royalty. I can literally see the thought bubbles popping above their heads that read, “I’d like to wash my delicates on that washboard.” Well, I’ve got news for you, ladies – that guy with the six pack isn’t right for you – or anyone, for that matter. Just like you wanted a pony when you were 8, you somehow assume you want the guy with an unbreakable core at 28. Just say no.

Ladies, a man with sextuplet muscles on his stomach automatically assumes he can have sex with you. Why do you think he did it? To be healthy? Pish posh. Someone who works out to that extent wants something for their troubles besides a clean bill of health from the doctor. With every crunch, that juice junkie somehow assumes that anything personality-related becomes a non-issue when it comes to dealing members of the opposite sex for dating purposes. Find a guy who likes working out, but not a guy who likes sweating in lieu of substance.

As a society, working out has become more about vanity than health. People congregate in these health clubs to be either admired, or to stare at the bodies we wish we could have as we slave away on a elliptical machine that won’t get us anywhere. Slowly but surely, we’re working to a place where men don’t expect women to look like that dazzling starlet from the latest Michael Bay movie who is plump in places and bony in others. Then surely women need to understand that having a six-pack shouldn’t be a prerequisite for manliness . Unrealistic body expectations are a two-way street. So date the skinny guy. Date the fat guy. They’re real people who don’t have enough time to do a 1,000 crunches because they’ve got personality and moxie to lean on. More women need to practice what they preach about their own bodies and stop lusting after perpetually shirtless and tanned mounds of ground chuck. Real guys. Real girls. Let’s go make some chubby babies.

  • Emma Sary

    I don’t think any girl wants to ‘be with’ the guy with the abs. They want to ‘be in bed’ with him and then leave to have a normal conversation with a normal person.

    I married the fat guy and he is a real person but I always make jokes about the hothothothothothothothot guys and the things I would do, it’s just funny to view them as objects.. toys if you will.

    That is one of the reasons I refuse to go to a gym though, I run outside, everyone in a gym is so self conscious and always silently judging. I have really good esteem but it just kills me and it’s not fun.

  • Becky Gilbert

    This article is so true. Guys with bodies like that are a turn off, because there is only so much time in a day, and the time he spends in the gym to look like that is time that he is not spending reading, doing historical re-enactments, learning how to fix cars or developing a razor-sharp wit. Also, guys with bodies like that EXPECT to get with girls with perfect bodies. So why not let them be with each other and spend hours staring at mirrors together?
    Also, it’s been my experience that these guys (much like girls who are too focused on their bodies) work out like this because they don’t feel like they have anything else that would attract people to them. In other words, “No one will want me unless my body is perfect.” And so when I see rippling abs, I am mostly sad for the little boy inside who has convinced himself that hours at the gym is the only route to love. LOL ok, maybe I’m being a little melodramatic on that one. But the point of this article is true.
    And honestly, women (at least myself) are not as visually driven as most guys…so is the sex REALLY better when he has six pack abs? I will tell you from experience, no. Is it better when he cares about you and whether you are having a good time? Yes.

  • Rebecca Lynn

    So are ripped guys and perfectly plump-in-all-the-right-places girls NOT real? This type of bashing is no better than telling those suffering from obesity that they should feel bad about themselves. How about instead of lumping categories of people based on what they look like–whether it be thick or thin or bony or buff–we actually TALK to someone. That guy doing 1,000 crunches might also just be a little lonely. Maybe even bored. You don’t know until you ask. Am I guaranteeing you’ll be wowed at his mental prowess? Can I promise the Bay-girl-look-alike will be the one you could take home to mother? No. But no matter how a person looks, you can never be sure of how unattractive they’ll be until you talk to them. It’s not right telling girls to avoid ripped guys because those guys are only interested in sex. That is no different from telling guys to stay away from girls in libraries because those girls are only interested in books. In our weight-obsessed culture that is slowly accepting women who don’t look like starlets, we seem to be getting there by putting down the girls who do look that way, or here the boys who do look that way. Any negativity is negativity, and negativity is not going to move us into a society with positive body images for girls or boys.

    • Catherine Janes

      I totally agree with you, Rebecca!! Stop hating on PEOPLE. Now we are hating people that want to be healthy?! Are you kidding me!? This is ridiculous! People that work hard all day, DO make time for the gym, because it makes them feel good on the inside. This guy is stereotyping ALL people that look good and are in shape?! Just because you aren’t physically fit, does not mean you should hate on people that ARE. Sure there are the guys and girls that don’t have much going for them other than their bodies…but come on…these days, A LOT of people are trying to be healthier. It doesn’t take hours at the gym to do that…and it doesn’t mean that we are any less a person than someone that doesn’t. Why is there so much hate in this world??? Go find a woman or man that loves you for you…end of.

  • Chad Kopriva

    I agree with many aspects of this article, but also disagree. I have been married to my wonderful wife for over a year now. We have been together for a total of 7. We both love to work out. It’s pretty cool to see what you can do with your body if you put in hard work and put the right foods into it. Kinda like an experiment. And yes, it is rewarding to look int he mirror and be proud of what you see. Being a mental health/D&A counselor, i find it a fantastic way to relive stress after work. Next to running, i have found nothing better. I know several single guys at the gym who feel the same way as I do. I’m certain there are some who are disgustingly vein and concieted, but don’t just everyone with a great physque that way. There are some great, single guys I know who are very down to earth and modest….they just love the feeling of working out..and a good body often comes with that. Don’t judge them all ladies.

    • Rebecca Lynn

      Not to mention there are some amazingly vain people who have never set foot in a gym. Vanity is not a side-effect of abs. It might drive people to abs, but abs do not produce solipsism.

  • Jen Georgeff

    Amen! My most recent ex was that beautiful guy right out of some Calvin Klein underwear ad, and I quickly learned what his priorities were, and I landed at the bottom of that list. He loved himself way too much to love another person. A shame though, because we initially did hit it off because of our love for zombie films.

  • Stuart Taylor

    He is right about me having moxie. I have moxie.

  • Victoria Anne Simpson

    So good! i love this article.

  • Holly Little

    I think I love you, Alec Banks. 😛

  • Kelsey Loanes

    This article is thoughtless and baseless. Shame on HelloGiggles for posting.

  • Mattie Benedict

    “Let’s go make some chubby babies.” Oh my gosh. Hahaha. Nice work, Alec.

  • Jennifer Manchester Branton

    No. Not really. But I don’t live in LA. Maybe it’s just in LA. Because here, there aren’t lines at the gym, there are lines outside Gallatoire’s. Here people have a hard time breaking bad habits to get healthy much less to get ripped.
    I’d very much want the person I love to exercise and be healthy so we can grow old and have a long life together.
    Also I know plenty of men that are in good shape that also have time for their wives and families. Women too. Please don’t give people an excuse like that for not taking care of their health. “I don’t want to work out because I’m not/don’t want to be “that guy”.

  • Erin Mercer

    Gotta disagree with this article. Vanity does not equal six packs. And, six packs do not equal vanity. I’ve met many a man trying to pick me up at the bar who gives me a look like I should feel privileged to ride their beer belly and I’ve met men with six packs who turn into nervous little boys when they ask if they can kiss me and don’t expect any more. Six pack, bellies, glasses, balding… I’ve been attracted to them all… because of their personality… and, yeah, when any one of them likes me back, it makes me feel pretty damn good about my jello thighs.

  • Meghan M

    Why don’t we all just stop body policing in general? And stop telling people what to do and who they should and shouldn’t be attracted to? This article isn’t as profound or productive as the author thinks.

    Anecdotally, women are more forgiving and welcoming when it comes to types of bodies than men are.

  • Jess Simmonds

    “moxie”, what a good word!

  • Samantha Garrison

    Isn’t judging a guy for his six pack just as bad as being judged for being chubby or curvy or too-thin? That guy might have an easy time building muscle mass and may, in his spare time, be a major league level gamer. Until we get to know him as a person, we can’t make that judgment – and it’s still harmful body-policing.
    And it should go without saying that a lot of people in LA forgo the gym – just go to any beach or state park or neighborhood with joggers to see that there are better options. It’s one of the friendliest cities, and I hate that it gets such a bad rap based on perceptions fed to us by MTV. I’m a (transplant) resident of Los Angeles, a fitness fan who has never owned a gym membership, and who dates an amazingly wonderful dude with a belly, and I totally resent this article. Let’s not judge – let’s talk to Mr. Six Pack from the gym and go from there, yeah?

  • Amy Porter

    Trust me, fat guys can be assholes too.

  • Hayley Bergan

    I’m a firm believer that your personality is based more on how you were raised. Some people use gym time as their escape (I know I do). Some people are paid to stay in shape (the military, athletes, etc). Doesn’t make them bad people. I for one am glad that the military gives/makes time for me to hit the gym on work hours. There are some real sweethearts out there with six-pack abs. I can pretty much promise you that the guys in those Special Warfare jobs aren’t working out for the ladies. Wonderful people come in all shapes and sizes and so do aholes. :)

  • Kati Ber

    I never wanted the “guy with the sixpack”
    Some of my girlfriends keep mocking me about that, but I dont really care… Intelligence is far more sexy than a stupid sixpack ^^

  • Chris Foott

    This article is completely Prejudiced.
    Not all people who go to the gym are stupid, vein, meatheads.
    People think that you need to spend half your life in the gym to get a good body. Those people are wrong! A good body is made in the kitchen. Does it make me a bad person because I prefer to eat fish & veg instead of a big mac meal?
    Many people with six packs only spend about 1-1 1/2 hours in the gym 3-6 times a week.
    I bet the average person spends far more time than this sat silently in front of the tv watching crap whilst eating crap.
    There are too many benefits to a healthy lifestyle for me to even bother mentioning.
    If more people went to the gym, then half of the western world wouldn’t be obese!
    As for the point of this article, I’m not vein. I don’t go the gym to impress girls. I’m gettingarried in 6 months and my fiancée wouldn’t care whether I went to the gym or not. But the fact that I do doesn’t affect our relationship.
    I’m also a firefighter (and no I didn’t join that job just to impress the ladies either). So it’s vital for me to stay in shape. But I would go the gym even if I worked in an office.
    I am educated, with several qualifications.
    I can only assume that the author of this article has some personal issues of her own. She probably just wishes that she was in better shape, but is too lazy to do anything about it :)
    Rant over.

  • Jessica Engel

    I can see your thought process behind this article…and I’m sure it’s true in some cases, but I have to disagree. As with all things, some guys work out just to attract women (and might end up being vain a$$holes). Others really like to work out just to feel more confident or content or just plain healthy. I know that I love to work out. I love feeling sore muscles and I love the feeling of running into the sun after work…it makes me feel happy and alive and confident (in a “I could do anything” sort of way). So I can see your point about giving the “normal” guy a chance…but normal can also be with awesome abs :)

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