After going on four dates with Alex, I decided to invite him over for a casual and cozy Sunday dinner on a cold January evening. He had wined and dined me during our initial outings and I thought it would be a nice change of pace to be in a more relaxed atmosphere, my apartment.
Upon arrival, I was relieved that he had an innocent little buzz going from the engagement party he had just left and since my nerves were getting the best of me, I was already a glass and a half of wine in as well. He loved the dinner and we ate and drank while chatting away about our weekends and upcoming work activities. The conversation was flowing very nicely as it had over our past several dates and then, in the middle of my bite, he dropped a bomb, “I have to tell you something.”
There is probably nothing more frightening than those six words when you are newly dating someone. Of course, since my mind works through movies and television shows, I thought of two of my favorite fictional scenes similar in nature: Sex and the City when Carrie learns that her high school boyfriend, who she started seeing, is actually spending time in a mental institution and in Fever Pitch when the girls are discussing how one of them once found a bag of hair and nail clippings from her date’s entire life (because all guys have “something” wrong with them).
I settled in, prepared for the worst – a kid, an ex-wife, a criminal record. Then he said it – any time he goes out in public, whether he is showing a house to potential clients, meeting friends (or me) for dinner and drinks in the city, or simply out and about, he always has a gun on him. Equally frightening. Yes, you read that correctly. A.Gun.On.Him. Strapped to his ankle, as if he lives in the projects and not his upper middle class suburbs. I was stunned, just as stunned as you are to read this right now. A gun. I’ve never even SEEN a real hand gun.
He explained that he doesn’t take it to private residences, aka the engagement party or my apartment, and has never used it or has intentions to use it. I listened attentively with my jaw on the ground and trying to remember to blink.
This good looking, real estate agent who hangs out with his toddler niece and nephew and volunteers on a regular basis is packing heat?! Yes, he had the gun on him the two times we went out in the city. Yes, he is fully trained, licensed and competent with it. Yes, I am still freaked out.
Maybe I am getting older and wiser, or maybe I am realizing there are very few single, good looking men with great jobs and well-rounded extra-curricular activities out there, but I am not ready to blow him off quite yet. I need more information and I told him just as much. I need to let it really sink in as to what this means and how it will affect our relationship moving forward.
I don’t even know how I feel, deep down, about gun control, should we be allowed to carry a concealed weapon? Would impeding this right eliminate recent violence in schools, amongst the streets? Should everyone have a gun with them in the name of protection? I don’t know the answers to these nor do I really understand many of the laws. First step for me will be some serious research (goodbye work productivity). What do you think? Do I stay with this otherwise qualified and great person? Or is it a deal breaker?
Why must there always be a bag of hair?
You can read more from Sarah Bruckner at YesWithAnH.wordpress.com.
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