There are things I want to bring back: swing dancing, falconry and courtly love (I just became aware that, judging from this list, my past lives must have been in the 1940s and the Middle Ages). However, what I most long for is that good grammar becomes the height of fashion. I know not everyone shares this desire. Many times, I have been called a grammar Nazi. Can we discuss for a moment how wildly inappropriate it is to equate my love of grammar with one of the most evil movements in all of human history? I am a fan of hyperbole, but come on. The love of a well-placed semicolon does not a fascist make! Why must I be insulted for my love of spelling and sentence structure? Also, why don’t men find it sexy that I know how to diagram a sentence?
While I am now kind about my love affair with words, I wasn’t always. In elementary school, I got in trouble for correcting a substitute teacher’s spelling. My mom used to say, “People don’t like people who correct them.” She interspersed that with a lot of irritation and profanity directed at her sometimes condescending eight-year-old (I am beginning to realize I was a brat). On the other hand, when someone has said or written something snotty to you, it is deliciously satisfying to point out and correct every mistake they made while insulting you (I am beginning to realize I still am a brat).
Grammatical knowledge is good for more than just taking down a nemesis; it can also assist you in your romantic endeavors. If I find a gentleman desirable, I do the normal thing and stalk him on the internet. Nothing dampens my ardor more than Facebook updates containing my pet peeves. If a potential suitor thinks that whom is just a fancy word for who, then how can I know if he will appreciate truly fancy things (such as Downton Abbey) with me? Yes, I am aware that I can be a judgmental rhymes-with-witch, but I refuse to apologize. A lady should never apologize for standards.
While I have ideals, I am most definitely not infallible. I make mistakes (while writing this, I kept spelling it “grammer” ), but I try to learn. I equate grammar and spelling mistakes to wearing pajama pants to the store – acceptable every once in a while, especially if you are sick or exhausted. However, if you do it too often, (finicky) people (like me) will start to wonder.
Language is alive; it evolves right along with those who speak it. Even the word “grammar” itself has evolved. Grammar and glamour used to mean the same thing, and they were both related to charm and magic. By its very definition, grammar is enchanting and bewitching. Maybe in that definition, I can find the truth behind my obsession: I love all things glamorous, and there’s nothing more glamorous than good grammar.
You can read more from Mandi Harris on her blog or follow her on Twitter.
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The amount of people on my Facebook newsfeed who write ‘defiantly’ when they mean ‘definitely’ is getting beyond a joke. I also correct people when they’re talking, how else will they learn?
Thank you all for your kind comments. I really appreciate it! I would like to share for a moment how absolutely bonkers/crazy/anal retentive I am. In my earlier comment, I accidentally wrote “will power” rather than “willpower.” This has been bothering me for daaayyysss. I even called my mom about it. My name is Mandi, and I have a serious problem.
Well, I’m Spanish, so try to make people not only speak properly… but to write accents whenever they’re necessary. A NIGHTMARE… (And btw, I loved your article! I completely understand what you mean!)
Grammar is sexy. Done.
hahaha. i think we should be friends because we are the same!
Right on! There, their, and they’re are NOT interchangeable.
I agree that we need to find new, positive nomenclature for those who are vigilant about grammar. The term Grammar Nazi always bothers me. You don’t hear other peoples’ nerdy interests being defined in a similative manner.
Best I could come up with–Grammaphile. Sounds classy to me. I like that.
Thank you, oh kindred spirit!!!
Oh my gosh I love this article, and the girl who wrote it! This is all me. You are so right! I’ve been called a grammar Nazi, too. But what can I do? I love correcting grammar. I especially love correcting them to their faces. It makes them look utterly stupid. People are stupid and it makes me sad.
I’m so happy someone wrote about this! I replied to a Twitter post earlier today. My biggest pet peeve is actually when people say something like, “I’ll borrow that to you.” I’ll usually correct them and say, “Do you mean that you are going to lend that to me?” They will look at me with a confused expression and tell me I’m a prude. Oh well.
I try so hard to keep my mouth shut, but I often correct people when they’re speaking. I know it’s irritating, but hearing “me and Jake are going…” makes my head hurt.
LOVE IT! I STUDY COMMUNICATIONS AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT HURTS TO SEE PEOPLE KILLING MY LANGUAGE ( I SPEAK SPANISH)
My name is Nicola and I am a grammar Nazi! I let the odd thing slip, mainly because I look back on my own wine induced rants and see how many mistakes even a serious grammar fanatic can make. I do find it annoying though, when half of my internet “socialising” is ruined by me being offended by bad grammar. I just cant help thinking that people must have spent their whole time at school breathing out of their mouths and not paying ANY attention. So many times I have told people that Friday, being a day/time cannot own whatever is in the rest of your sentence so stop saying Friday’s or similar stupid shit. There are several ways of saying to/too/two and also there/they’re/their but I kid you not, I worked at a school once where TEACHERS wrote lesson plans containing errors in the above. In lessons where the kids where meant to be learning about grammar. To further add to the frustration, it was in a specialist school for children on the autistic spectrum, who really struggled with the fact that the English language did not make sense sometimes and needed guidance from people who could tell them straight, what was what.
I know that language is organic and will constantly change and incorporate new words but seriously, if nobody is paying attention, or gives a shit then we are doomed to a future of illiterate nonsense, surely? Try reading any medieval text and see if you can make any definite sense of it. Its mainly guess work, going on phonics. That’s where we’re heading.
P.S I’ve had some wine.
Thank you all! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Jocelyn, what sparked this essay is that I didn’t have enough will power to hold myself back and posted a rant on Facebook one day. However, after writing this, I’m going to have to be even more anal retentive about my own grammar. Eeek!
Straight up. I have to hold myself back after drinking a bottle of wine not to post on Facebook the difference between to and too, they’re and their, your and you’re…the list goes on.
LOVE this. Grammar sticklers unite!
hell yeah grammar is glamorous
Nothing is more attractive than an intelligent brain. Additionally, I generally would like to bludgeon those that abuse proper spelling/grammar.
You tell em’ girl!!
This is wonderful.