Lies I Tell My Daughter

The Doctor Is Already Married… Sorry!

I think we all remember the very first crush we had, whether it was your fourth grade music teacher or your brother’s best friend. You never forget your cheeks feeling flushed and inexplicably hot. There’s nothing more magical or mysterious than your first crush. I recently witnessed  my 5-year-old daughter’s very first crush under very strange circumstances.

Last week, Sunny fell down our front steps and had to get stitches on the back of her head.  It was super scary at first, but then our pediatrician Dr. Peter calmed us down and even though it was a Saturday, he said we lucked out as his plastic surgeon associate just started a new service  (two days prior) where surgeons meet you “24/7” if you need to get stitches for whatever reason. In fact, Dr. Peter informed us that we were Dr. Novick’s very first “24/7” patients – lucky us!

After Dr. Peter checked Sunny out, we went to meet Dr. Novick at his office. “Is this for real?”, I thought as I walked in. This guy looks like an Abercrombie door guy. And this is HIS Beverly Hills office that he’s meeting us at. PIMP. Meanwhile my husband is texting me, saying, “Sunny can’t stop staring at Dr. John Stamos and stop acting weird.”

Sunny sat down in her chair and immediately started flirting. The doctor gave her three stitches while she smiled and blushed and laughed. Guess that “magic cream” kicked in.

Before we knew it, Sunny was done getting stitched up and we were making an appointment for her stitch removal. All of the sudden, the worst, most embarrassing thing happened. Sunny really threw me off guard with this one. She started putting her finger in a hole shape she made with her other hand and moving it in and out of the hole. Okay, seriously, I have no clue where Sunny learned something this horrifying, but I freaked out. “Sunny!” I unintentionally screamed. She, of course, immediately started crying and my husband angrily asked me why I was embarrassing her. He took me aside and said, “Clearly Dr. Stamos is bringing out feelings in Sunny that she can’t identify.”

Dr. Novick was very gracious and pretended not to notice and  told Sunny she could pick out a few lollipops for herself and her sister before we left. Then we walked out the door and she yelled, “Wait!” and she ran back into his office and said, “Will you marry me?’

Kind of aggressive, if you ask me…

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