The Broke Girl's Guide to Spoiling Yourself Silly

Do you ever feel totally and completely overwhelmed, like all you want to do is shut yourself in for the night, turn off your phone, computer, bat signal, etcetera and just enjoy your own company? Perhaps spend the night doing all of the things you hope no one will ever see you doing? (Examples include but are not limited to: dancing in your underwear; singing into your hairbrush along to “I Would Do Anything For Love”; popping your pimples; giving Oscar/Pulitzer/etc. acceptance speeches into your mirror; picking dead skin from your feet, eating mashed potatoes, macaroni and fried chicken in one bowl, KFC-style, etc.)

We feel this way all of the time, especially around the holidays. We like people and all, but sometimes we just want everyone to go the eff away. Please and thank you. For those nights, we have assembled a few tried-and-true, broke-girl-friendly indulgences that’ll make you feel spoiled in a way not even your boyfriend/husband/foreign lover/cat’s best attempts can.

1. Plan trips you may or may not ever get to take. Spin a globe and pick somewhere at random. Then, check out hotel and flight options, restaurant recommendations, activities, etc. It’s always good to have something to look forward to, even if it’s just a hypothetical. Use this and this for inspiration.

2. Dress up: We don’t mean put on your highest heels, your tightest corset (yes, we know it’s not 1840…), and your shortest skirt to sit at home by yourself. You’ll want to be comfortable, and cozy clothes are often the greatest indulgence. But there’s a fine line between cozy and schlubby–we don’t want to scare ourselves as we walk past our mirrors, do we? (Although, this is kind of amazing, and you should own it. As is this.) We’re thinking something along the lines of this or these. You might also want a pair of these to cuddle your feet for the night.

3. Have fun with your dinner for one: Okay, so you CAN go the KFC Mashed Potato Bowl route (we’ve so been there) or nuke a Lean Cuisine, but eating that crap is ultimately going to make you feel worse, not better. Instead, we suggest cooking yourself a simple, seasonal, single-serve meal. We know, we know, the microwave is your best friend, and it’s so much work to cook for yourself. However, cooking is much healthier for you, plus it gives you something to to do with your hands while singing along to “I Will Do Anything For Love.”

Since we felt there weren’t any cooking shows out there geared towards the solo diner, we created one. Here is our most recent episode: Pomegranates & Pork Chops

If pork’s not your thing, check out our Pizza Party episode here.

4. Write angry/impassioned letters to people who have wronged you: This is awesomely therapeutic. Trust us. You’re never going to send them (please, please don’t send them), so go wild with the accusations and soapboxing.

5. Watch stuff that is bad for your brain: All those guilty little pleasure shows and movies that you’d be embarrassed to watch with your boyfriend, or even your best friend, are fair game. Sex and the City…2, Dance Moms, Law & Order: SVU, Pretty Little Liars, Center Stage, Real Housewives (of anywhere), Titanic, Grey’s Anatomy, New Years Eve (or Valentine’s Day), Chicagolicious (what IS that?), Crossroads, Scandal…you get the idea.

6. Read love letters from your ex-boyfriends: Please note that this is only advisable as it pertains to men you are very, very much over. Do not, we repeat, do NOT read love letters from the guy you broke up with yesterday.

7. Get crafty. Go to the drugstore and pick up a ton of kiddie art supplies–construction paper, crayons, glue, glitter, coloring books, etc. Then, let yourself be six years old for the night.

8. Take advantage of Pinterest’s new hidden board feature and go wild fantasizing about the wedding of your dreams. You can even pin pictures of the groom (Ryan Gosling?)–we won’t tell!

9. Read something really funny, like one of these books written by wickedly witty women.

10. Make a small gesture to help improve the world. This could be anything from writing a letter to a soldier or a sick child, signing a petition (like this one) that’s important to you, or simply clicking on one of these free sites to help raise money for charities. We also love playing online word games like FreeRice or Charitii–every time you get a correct answer, food or money is donated to help those in need.

Note: Whatever you do, do NOT spend the night on Facebook. For one, this does not truly count as alone time. Also, the last thing you need on your night in, is exposure to the political rantings of friends who’ve never voted, pictures of babies whose parents you don’t remember meeting, random thoughts no one cares about, and/or endless wedding photo galleries. This is time for YOU, not everyone you’ve ever met in your life. Do yourself a favor and unplug!

Image via Shutterstock

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