When I was little, I played with Barbie dolls. Also: Bratz dolls, American Girl dolls, etc. But I had a closer relationship to my collection of Barbie dolls. Some part of me thought that’s what I’d grow up to look like — no fat, barely any curves, awesome hair… the beautiful, silky hair girl with a perfect body. In the games I played with my Barbies, their boyfriends were always romantic and their friends were never mean. If my dolls could have it all, so could I.
I’m older now and I’m psyched to not be a Barbie. Her waist is ridiculous. She has no curves – those hips are not curves people! And her hair is not as silky as when I use conditioner. And people, she’s got a weird-looking expression on her face. Not perfect (also, there’s no such thing as perfect, but that’s another post).
But you know, I worry about what Barbie represents and what that is telling little girls – that life is going to be amazing as you drive around in your Barbie convertible and live in your Barbie dream house and everyone will love you and it will happen if you look just like Barbie. She sent the message that girls would always look like we came out of a beauty closet and that we would have no trouble in life and blah blah blah.
I’m older now and I have learned that I will never end up looking like a Barbie. But what about other girls who aren’t comfortable with their bodies? Or who don’t know that real beauty is from the inside and how not a lot of people see who you are the first time they meet you? Or who don’t know that the average Barbie is not a doll and not a real person?
I’m thinking about beauty a lot for a lot of reasons – make-up and outfits are part of it, but also because I’m learning more about boys and what they see and what they don’t see. Does he not notice you because you aren’t pretty? A lot of people don’t see a person’s personality until they get to know that person and realize, wow, this is a beautiful person. They may like someone who they just think is cute. Never even spoken to them. I don’t get how you can do that. To me, the personality is the most important part. I never thought a boy wouldn’t like me just because another girl was prettier than me.
So here’s what I think we need to remember all the time:
LOVE THE WAY YOU LOOK
You’ve heard me say this before in another post, but I want to take it a step further. If the guy you like doesn’t like you, his loss. Never doubt your beauty and if anyone doesn’t like you, realize and KNOW that inner beauty is the one that counts.
WEAR YOUR FACE
Don’t go overboard with make-up! Just saying.
PERSONALITY COMES FIRST
Remember, even if he is cute, make sure he is nice or sweet first. Make friends with him before you ask him out or something.
MIRROR MIRROR
Don’t compare yourself to a Barbie. Or anything you see in magazines or the movies. I mean, when I look at clothes, I’m looking at the outfits, not the girls. I’m not thinking, oh I want to look like her, I’m thinking, how can I convince my mom to get me another pair of jeggings? So when you look in the mirror, be psyched! That’s you, dude, and you are awesome.
WHEN YOU HAVE A KID…..
Teach your kids to love themselves.
Do you have anymore tips on staying true to yourself? Give me a holla on my Tumblr or talk to me on my Twitter. See you next week!
I disagree. I always loved barbie, and I always will. When I was little, my world was filled with the Disney Princesses. They were beautiful beyond all doubt, and everyone was always fussing over them. Money was never an issue, and they never had to do anything but be a good girlfriend to whatever rich, handsome guy came along. As I kid, I believed I would grow up to look like Brintey Spears (early Britney, talk about no curves) and marry some rich prince and go on to never work and have ten kids. Then I found Barbie. She made her own money and did whatever she wanted, whether that was shopping or flying planes. She never worried about what she ate, her built in phrases were about her career and friends and how much she loved herself, not about how big her hips were or how much she ate. She proved I could do anything I wanted, and look great while doing it. If I want to be a lawyer, a writer, and mother, I can do it. And I can do it in some really hot shoes.
So what if I’m 24… THIS is what I needed to hear today.
Thanks.
If only I could have read something like this forty years ago!
I too played with Barbies as a young girl, and I have fears for what my daughter may be influenced by them too. I never have and never will buy her a Barbie they are given as gifts at birthday’s etc. All I can hope for is that if she see’s Mummy and other women being real then she will be too!
I remember reading a great book in college called The Barbie Chronicles. It was a collection of writers writing about how Barbie influenced them, etc. It’s a great read.
I have a thought I wanted to share. I might be alone in this but when I was little, wanting to be like my Barbie wasn’t about looks. I wanted to be Barbie because of the things I dreamed up when I played with her. I wanted to be Barbie because she could do anything, be anyone, and was always happy. I think as we’ve grown older we found fault in Barbie’s looks, but physical beauty wasn’t as important at that tender age when Barbie was our favorite toy. Besides if they didn’t make them pretty would we have wanted to play with them at all? One person’s opinion.
you amazing, super smart girl
I hope I don’t sound patronizing, but I am so impressed with how smart you are!
Ruby, this is a super valuable lesson you learned at a young age, that is so awesome! Most girls struggle with these body image issues for their WHOLE LIVES. Mad props to you! Also I’ve known you since you were teeennnyyyy tiny and you were always super smart and super adorable!
xo.cce
Ruby, you made my day!
Thanks for this!!! This is something we have been trying to teach my daughter, and I really hope she takes it to heart that no matter who you are you ARE beautiful!
You are amazing, thank you!
Thanks for this! As much as I loved playing with my Barbies as a kid, I dont think I realized how unrealistic they were. It took a high school research paper on media and body image for me to figure that out.
Awesome post!
I really liked this post