I have a degree in Overthinking. It’s from the College in My Head, which I know for a fact is not accredited, and yet I continue to be a student there. Over the years, this not-fine art of overthinking has probably been the most difficult habit for me to break. I’d say it’s definitely been the most difficult habit for me to break, but then I’d reassess saying ‘definitely’ and probably switch it back to ‘probably.’ Is it easy being me? No. Do I have it way easier than many and create my own stress? Yes! Do I win something for that? A trophy where someone is just gently patting someone else on the back? Probably not.
Here are some examples of how it goes for me: I regularly make decisions about what other people were thinking when they said or didn’t say something to me, only to later find out that they don’t even recall saying the original thing to me in the first place. That’s how much weight the moment had for them. None. Even though I’ve spent hours deconstructing these moments. There have been occasions when I’ve decided that people don’t like me and why they don’t like me during the same period of time that I was their favorite person. Here’s another. Often, when someone says that they have to talk to me, my initial instinct is that they’re either going to break up with me or fire me. That’s right around when I try to remind myself, I’m neither dating or working for them. My head works way harder than a rocket scientist’s, without the super smart about rocket science part.
Now, does this happen all of the time? No. But it happens enough and one thing I know for sure … it’s a tremendous waste of energy. I have a headache thinking about the headaches I give myself. My Advil has tiny baby Advils that they take when they get a headache from my headache. There should be a self-help workbook to guide you (read: me!) out of this ridiculous pattern. Perhaps it could be loosely modeled after The Artist’s Way. But this one will be called The Overthinkers Way Out: A Spiritual Path to Thinking Less. The book will likely only be purchased by actors and writers, but at least that covers my overthinking ass. I’m assuming everyone else (all of the normal people) can fend for themselves. I picture dental hygienists, architects and biochemists seeing The Overthinkers Way Out: A Spiritual Path to Thinking Less, rolling their eyes and sighing “F**k’n writers.”
I have an idea. Right now I’m going to make a pledge (that likely so so few of you will care about) to try to overthink 25% less than I usually do. That seems a reasonable place to start. 1/4 th less overthinking. Now, I’m just showing off with my fractions. But, a girl’s gotta take it where she can get it, you know? Anyone else want to get in on this hot hot 25% less overthinking action? Vegas just called. They want a piece of this. Nevermind, they just called back. They misunderstood. They thought the bet was pledging to overthink 25% less about who I sleep with. Oh well. I’m still going to really try to stick to this and report back to you how it goes. I’ll also try my very hardest to, in keeping with my new pledge, overthink 25% less about you guys judging me for this column. And for my hair. And … STOP.
Signed,
Jill “25% Less” Kushner
Wow, I was creped out while reading this because it’s so what I do it is not even funny. Good to know I am not alone in thinking for weeks about one little comment. Not sure how I can over think less, without over thinking how but I am going to try.
Oh my goodness…did you get in my head and describe me? No wait, couldn’t have, because I think I think way more than that even. But I think you totally got into my head at some point…I think.
loved. this. article. Totally relateable (I get the red squiggly line but you know what I mean)!!! I agree with the Katie above me, you have to trigger your own switch. Heck I’m still trying to figure out where or what my switch IS. I’m in on the challenge. It’s rough but totally worth it! Thanks for your article.
I share the habit and it’s both a blessing and a curse. I’ve curbed my overthinking in social situations, but as a fellow writer, I embrace it in private.
I’m not saying this to brag even though it is a personal accomplishment from a personal problem (overthinking). But I am a recovered overthinker! I don’t know exactly how it happened… in my brain it’s the equivalent to getting struck by lightning, some sort of freak accident. I’m pretty sure I haven’t switched bodies with anyone either. Anyway, in my life, as soon as I saw and felt the results of not overthinking I started analyzing (not overthinking) what I was doing differently. I no longer was coming up with scenarios of how my boyfriend was going to let me down… I played it cool when minor things in my universe didn’t go the way I had wanted… I stopped putting blame on others when things didn’t go the way I had expected them (because I had thought about all the scenarios & knew how to react when the [what-I-thought-was-the-] worst occurred. Somewhere in these is the key to your overthinking. I don’t think it’s the overthinking that is the problem, it is the handling of what you have overthought. If you think you’re going to be let down because your best friend couldn’t go see Moonrise Kingdom with you because her face was overtaken by her springtime allergies & she can barely breathe then you are going to be let down! Or you can be okay with it. It sounds simple but that is because it is. Obviously the being okay with it is the REAL conundrum we overthinkers face but that is something I can’t tell you HOW to do. I do believe there is a switch & you have to be able to trigger it! The end. (I apologize for the length but I’ve been really happy since I’ve made my recovery & if this helps anyone then that is all that matters).
You are wise, Katie!!!! Thanks!!!!!!!
Count me in. Hoping to put the 25% to better use.
Consider yourself counted in, Francis!!!
My sister and I were talking about exactly THIS thing just yesterday!
Overthinking is bad and makes us sad… I’ll try to think less and do more… and I’ll try to get my sister to read (and understand) your article… lol
I made my sister read it
And she is the one who has to deal with my overthinking most frequently. Poor thing. 
I love this article! I think we all overthink here
Thanks, Ivan!!!
Jill! I am taking the pledge with you! It´s already working, I overthinked 1/4 th less than I usually do before writing this comment!
.
P.S.: I am sooo on the waiting list for that book!
So you’ve commented precisely in the same way that I would have. Respect.
Thanks!
Totally!!!!!!!!
I’m an overthinker too! Architects are also overthinkers, believe me! (I am)
Andreina the Architect! No way! Thanks for “sticking up” for your kind!
Hahaha!!! 
I’m in! It seems most of the time all I do is think about things from something as simple as what a certain look meant that someone gave me to bigger things like how to find/get an awesome job (especially that one). Just thinking and never really moving past that. It needs to change.
Totally!!!
You can use overthinking positively, guys! I dwell – like obsessively – on any nice thing that someone says to me. My best friend tells me she loves me, I think about all the times she’s proven that (even though there have been many times I’ve doubted our friendship would survive). A lecturer gives me a good comment in response to an assessment, I choose to think about it when another lecturer gives me less than positive feedback (clearly the first lecturer is much wiser…) And, etc. etc. Overthink on the good stuff, it makes the bad stuff a hell of a lot easier to forget about. (I too am an overthinker – I give this advice to myself, let’s see how it works out…)
Well done, Elle!
Im in. This is genius. hope it works
Genius!!! I’ll take it!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you Jill! It’s so nice to know I’m not alone out there!
You got it, girl! Thank you for commenting!!
I`ve always wanted a twin sister! Nice to finally meet you!
HAHAHAHAHA!
You just described my life. I’m THE over thinker, every human interaction that I’ve had I store it in my memory and think again and again about all the things (mostly negative) that someone meant, and it doesn’t help that I have a great memory and that I literally remember every detail that went on and use those details to overthink it a little bit more. I cannot make a decision because I’m often questioning my self of the hundreds of variables that could go wrong, and the only time I make good decision is when I have an odd moment of bravery and just do the first thing that comes to mind. So in a few words I’m in.
You’re in! I’ll take the company!
I was so bad with this (and I actually still struggle with it) that I caused myself severe anxiety and I had to go to therapy for over a year. I learned a few tricks and can generally keep things in check most of the time but sometimes I let up just a little bit and the ball gets rolling and there’s no turning back. Oh, well….heh.
That’s awesome that you’ve grown even a little bit with this!
I’m in!
Awesome!!
I’m in. I think I’ve lost so much joy in my life by trying to prepare for the worst that never happens. I need to let go of the reigns and just be.
Yea!!!!!!!!