On the whole, I have a kind of house cat personality. It’s not that I don’t like people or socializing – I do. I just really love my house and – perhaps a little disproportionately – my own company. But I also find that as I get older, I begin to enjoy my friends more and more. Spending time with my friends, although sometimes an effort because of kids and jobs and life, becomes more fulfilling as time goes on. That being said, some friends are easier to hang out with than others. In fact, some friends aren’t actually my friends at all, which is baffling. The more I thought about it, the more I needed to break it down and figure it out. Of course, anyone who knows me (my friends!) knows that I love a category. I think I covered most, but please feel free to add your own.
The How Did You Actually Get To Be My Friend? Friend
This is the person that all of a sudden was just there in your friend group. You can’t remember whose friend she was first. She has a job she is always explaining but that you never seem to understand properly, and even though she is a nice person (maybe?), she is not someone you would have chosen to be friends with because you have nothing in common. She shows up at every gathering and you aren’t ever really clear on who invited her. Conversations with her are always a little awkward because technically she is your friend but you guys don’t know anything about each other.
The Partier Friend
You know her – she is up for anything at any time. She does not know the meaning of the word moderation. She drinks and smokes and brings out your inner bad girl. She is a lot of fun, but you can only hang with her occasionally or else you would end up in rehab. She’s the BEST person to be around after a break up. She knows loads of single guys (most of whom she’s slept with). She never judges and never takes things too seriously. You love her, but you also kind of feel sad for her.
The One-Upper Friend
This is the gal that has a story for everything, especially if it comes on the heels of the story you’ve just told. Her story, however, will be just that much better, harder, funnier or more hear- wrenching. You’ve had three kids? She’s had four and adopted two. You were in labor for 10 hours, she was in labor for 24. You were laid over in an airport over Christmas? She lived in an airport. You’re broke? She was homeless once. She is certainly interesting, but you can only handle her in small doses.
The Sweetest Girl In The World
This friend is literally the nicest person you have ever met. It’s hard to believe that she’s for real sometimes because she really is that kind and good-hearted. She’s the friend that brings soup over when you’re sick. She’s the friend that organizes your fridge because you feel too overwhelmed to tackle it. She is happy to pick you up from the airport. She builds things for Habitat For Humanity in her time off. She never criticizes you and is always full of encouragement. Even though she has the greatest energy and you would love to be more like her, you can’t always hang out with her because you feel like a jerk comparatively.
The ‘Oh My God, You Are So Much Cooler Than Me’ Friend
This is the lady you want to be when you grow up even though you are already grown – she’s like a female Fonzie. She knows everyone. She dresses like Alexa Chung. DJ Steve Aoki makes her mixed tapes. She’s got a pied a terre in Paris. She has a bunch of artwork hanging on her walls that you don’t understand. She may or may not be beautiful, but it hardly matters. She is so damn cool that she draws people to her like a supermodel. She is uber generous and is never about drama. You would like to spend more time with her but she fits you in when she can. You’re happy to be fill that slot. You can’t imagine whining to her about not getting to spend more time together. You would rather die.
The Childhood Friend
This was your first best friend. You may not see each other that often anymore; you may not even talk that often, but when you do, it’s like no time has passed at all. She knows all your secrets and she keeps them.
The Situational Friend
This is the friend that you hang out with at work, or at work out class or in book group. She might be your morning barista or the girl who sits next to you in home room. You like her well enough. She’s nice, but you can’t imagine pulling her seeing her all the time and taking it to that next level of friendship. You like her well enough there, you’re just not sure you like her enough to have her in your house.
The Gossip-y Friend
Speaking of secrets, this is the friend that knows everything about everyone. Anytime you want to know whats going on with so and so, you call her. The thing about this friend is that she swears up and down that she hates drama and gossip, but if given the right nudge, she will conspiratorially spill the beans and then you feel a little guilty after spending time with her. Not to mention the fact that she has this weird hypnotizing thing that makes you tell her private, sensitive stuff that she is never going to keep to herself. You both really look forward to and dread spending time with her.
The ‘I Really Like You, Why Don’t We Spend More Time Together?’ Friend
This is a person you get on with every time you see her. You have tons in common. You laugh at the same jokes and you think the same guys are cute. But, every time you do see her, it seems to be accidental. You never make an actual plan to socialize together, it just kind of happens. You always vow to make an actual date to hang, but then for some reason, you never do.
The You Do All The Talking/Listening Friend
So this is actually two types of friends, but I put them in the same category because it’s really just two sides of the same coin. On one side, we have the friend who is really sweet but shy and super quiet. She has good energy and you like her, but getting her to talk about herself is like pulling teeth. To keep the conversational ball rolling, you have to do all the talking. She is a great listener but because you have to go on and on, you feel like the biggest narcissist in the world every time you hang out. The flip side is the friend who literally won’t let you get a word in edgewise. She talks about herself nonstop and it’s a miracle if she even asks you how you are. You put up with her because she’s usually pretty funny. Or maybe it’s because she scares you a little bit…
This, this is your BFF, your non sexual life partner. You guys know each other so well that you don’t even have to speak. She never judges. She knows exactly how to call you out on your bulls**t with out hurting your feelings. She is the first person you tell when something important happens and sometimes, even if you’re in a relationship, you think she may be the only person who truly gets you. You only need one of these friends in your life and it may take a good chunk of your life to find her. She’s is not just your best friend, but the best friend.
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