The 10 Best Emojis You Aren’t Using And Should Be Elizabeth Entenman

Do you ever feel like inanimate objects understand you? That’s how I feel about Emojis. I’m going to assume that you know, love and use Emojis in your texts, because if not, you don’t know what you’re missing, and I’m not really sure how to talk to you. Download them now for free! But maybe ask someone who already has them to help you, because you’re going to be like “OMGWTF keyboards.” I’ll wait.

Emojis are the best. There’s a little symbol for (almost) every occasion you could possibly think of, from facial expressions to animals to food to sports. They say so much more than I ever could. Plus, they make your text messages look awesome. My favorite way to send Emojis is with no context. The more random, the better: Cow. Kimono. Pineapple. But I also like to string them together and tell stories: “Flamenco dancer, house, cheeseburger, VHS tape” is a story about a girl who spent a night out dancing and then came home to unwind with takeout and a ’90s movie. Obviously. But I’ve also begun ascribing certain Emojis meaning.

Need some inspiration for your next text? Here are some of the Emojis you might not have noticed when scrolling through, plus some tips on how to use them.

1. Soon

Just like the meme says: Soon. I like to include this one with the promise of what the night holds.

Picture of Text Screenshot Soon

2. Cyrano de Bergerevil

If you want to convey displeasure that goes beyond the simple “:(”, there are tons of Emojis for that. But when sadface smileys aren’t enough, there’s Cyrano de Bergerevil. It’s not that he’s mad at you – he’s disappointed in you. He expected more.

Picture of Text Screenshot Mask

3. No iPhone

This one means my phone is about to die.

Picture of Text Screenshot Battery Life

4. Text Bubble

You know how on iMessage you can see when the other person is typing? When I’m having a conversation with someone, I think it’s funny to send the text bubble and trick the person into thinking I’m typing for a really long time. But I’m really no-ot!

Picture of Text Screenshot Text Bubble

5. ® Mark

The easy way to call “dibs” on anything!

Picture of Text Screenshot Duhmazing

6. Tube Thing with Legs

Okay, those aren’t actually legs, but it really looks like it. Sometimes I text him to my friends just to say hi. (His name is Barry.)

Picture of Text Screenshot Tube

7. Brooklyn

“BK” probably stands for “bank”, but whenever I’m in the city, it signifies hanging out in Brooklyn.

Picture of Text Screenshot Brooklyn

8. Unlabeled Red Flame

What is that supposed to be? A flame? A tulip? A character from Number Crunchers? I honestly don’t know. But it has a blank label (I think), so you can call it as anything you want.

Picture of Text Screenshot Fire

9. Olmec

Hmmmmmmmmmm. Which Emoji should you use next? The choices are yours and yours alone. Gooood luuuuck.

Picture of Text Screenshot Statue

10. The Bad Report

My method of choice for delivering bad news. I can almost hear the “womp womp” that goes along with it.

Picture of Text Screenshot Chart

These are just the beginning, of course. I didn’t even get into the animals or the edible objects. Like the poodle that’s so much fancier than the cute cartoon puppy, or the rice plate that could maybe also pass for Neapolitan ice cream. The next time you need an Emoji, think outside the box. And if you aren’t using Emojis, seriously: what are you waiting for?

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  1. my friend and I play pictonary/ iPhone charades with them. The best one to make is Kate Bush’s Wuthering heights. One of the Emoji’s is a dancing woman in a red dress – that’s kinda all you need

  2. OK, so I´m a bit oldfashoned. I like words as they are. I suppose I could draw a comic strip. Bubbles are´nt enough for me. I´d like the whole tub please.
    I´m used to spending more time with words. Sucking the marrow out of them.

    But, do, by all means, create a language that fits you. Language to me is like arithmetic – I see numbers and philosofy. Putting old words togeather is a great way to descover wisdom, new as well as old.
    I never owned a mobilphone either. Texting single digits is not for me.

    You may ask if I am perhaps one of “those” who would rather prefer a quill. Well, I do own a fountain pen. And I love it´s scratching noises against paper.

    Once, one day when was very tired, I did try to correct a computer by putting white-out on it´s screen.

    • old fashioned*
      aren’t
      philosophy*
      together*
      discover*
      mobile phone*
      Apparently your beloved words have failed you.

  3. Well as I know, that flower shaped thingy is Japanese children’s name tag in preschool :) Its quite common in their society.

  4. How do I get Emojis!?!

  5. Haha I love this!! I actually do it all the time, I even had a code with my ex bf :) more people should use them!

  6. That “tube thing” is a horn. FYI :)

    • I’m just skeptical that it’s not with the piano, violin, trumpet, saxophone and guitar. You know? Why is it with the envelopes and the mailboxes? Just Emoji food for thought!

      Elizabeth Entenman | 6/25/2013 11:06 am
  7. Ahhh! The bad report! The registered trademark! So good it’s making me emojional®.

  8. I don’t even have a smartphone…

  9. Number 9 it’s a Chilean Moai Head, NOT Olmec!

  10. Somebody once told me the smiley poo is actually chocolate ice cream- you know like a whippy cone? I was a little bit heartbroken.

  11. The smiley poo in your last post is my favorite.

  12. There’s one emoji that’s like 3 bamboo stalks sticking out of a bag. My friends and I like using it when referencing penises. Like dicks in a bag.

  13. But.. but #2. Cyrano de Bergerevil, isn’t him! It’s a Japanese demon face! He’s still just as wildly disappointed. (It’s ok, continue singing “Roxanne” at your leisure)