First and foremost: WTF? This is totally and completely, unequivocally, without a shadow of a doubt the most disgusting display of human I have seen in quite some time. This flyer was found inside the dudes’ bathroom of a co-ed freshman dorm at Ohio’s Miami University, and the person who wrote this is CLEARLY missing a “sensitivity chip” (as Jennifer Aniston once said about Brad Pitt in a completely different context).
My initial reaction to the flyer was, “I hope this is a joke.” My subsequent, and admittedly more appropriate reaction was, “Even if this is a joke, no one’s going to find this funny except the a-hole that wrote it.” Now, my sense of humor leans more towards CB Radio trucker-talk than ladylike knock-knocks, but to me, the only thing that’s laughable about this flyer is the horrific misuse of grammar and punctuation.
So what do we take this for? Some stupid kid gunning for a Tosh-type comedic reputation? To that I say, get on a stage. If you want to make rape jokes (which I don’t condone), at least do it in a public forum where people can throw shoes at you (Jeffrey Campbell-sized clunkers, hopefully). Don’t hide behind your Comic Sans, under-punctuated, over-aggro, sorry excuse for a Letterman-list of malarkey. That’s a bunch of stuff.
But if this isn’t a joke, I hope the university supplies every single female student with a key-chain compatible pepper spray and brass knuckles. Maybe throw in some self-defense classes and start barring-up windows, New York-style until they find this demon-child. Because this is not a flyer expressing freedom of speech, my friends. This isn’t even a declaration of male dominance or “macho pig-ism,” as Jessie Spano might say. This is straight up crazytalk. Super-violent, super-inexcusable, super-scary crazytalk. And even crazy gets into college sometimes, we’ve come to learn.
And I don’t envy the position of university officials, who have responded by calling a mandatory (finger-wagging) meeting of that particular dorm’s male residents, as they believe it was “confined strictly” to one place. Offhand, this seems like an under-reaction to a gross display of potentially harmful activity. But how do you effectively stress the seriousness of this to a building full of high school-sprung, slowly maturing man-boys? And what about the girls in the dorm? How can the university assure them that it isn’t an “immediate threat?” (Or for that matter a threat, period?).
A good way to start would be to harness the involvement of the campus’ sexual assault prevention coordinator. But apparently, that position at Miami University has been vacant for more than year. Not a great look for a school that’s had 27 cases of sexual assault reported to the police since 2009.
In all honesty, the trucker in me would really like to write a response to this terrible human in the form of my own Letterman-list (of the Top Ten Places Where Whoever Wrote This Flyer Can Shove It), but the lady in me chose a haiku instead. Please enjoy:
Rape is not funny
Stupid people make me pukey
You used the wrong “your”
Featured image via Tumblr