The King’s Speech: The problem isn’t that The King suffers from just a stutter, he stutters because he is constantly followed by dinosaurs. Dinosaurs that only he can see! But the threat is the same.
Mean Girls: Everyone’s mean because there’s dinosaurs everywhere! And the worst part is that the dinosaurs think they rule the school. It’s up to Regina George and company to teach these dinosaurs some dinoDON’TS. It’s, like, the rules of feminism!
Chicago: With the help of a friendly triceratops, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly bust out of prison and onto the big stage in this musical about dinosaurs in the 1920s.
The Social Network: The CGI in this movie should not have been used for the Winklevoss twins, but for this handsome T. Rex instead. And maybe Mark Zuckerberg is being sued by dinosaurs instead of people. This brings a whole new element of man vs. nature, one that this movie didn’t expand enough upon. Also I would get rid of Justin Timberlake and replace him with a dinosaur.
American Beauty: In this version of American Beauty, dinosaurs just want to live in the suburbs and be like us. But they have problems too, like some of the dinosaur wives cheat on the dinosaur husbands and some of the dinosaurs film plastic bags, and then Kevin Spacey is eaten by a dinosaur and the roses bloom.
Juno: If Juno thought that being pregnant was a big deal, that’s nothing compared to the frequent dinosaur attacks. That hamburger phone isn’t nearly as delicious-looking as Juno is, and two seconds after this she’s going to turn around and be like, “Yikes! Lego my eggo and hit me baby one more time, that’s a big Rexie!” and then throw her phone at it. The dino would say, “RRRRAAAWWRRRGGHHH” and then Michael Cera would knock on the door and walk in and say, “Hey Guys, what’s up?”
The Queen: This movie was really long and had no dinosaurs in it at all. Not even one. It’s like the Royal Family doesn’t even care about dinosaurs.
A Beautiful Mind: In this version, dinosaurs are really good at math and are trying to compete for Best Math Guy with Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe decides to ignore the dinosaurs because he has a beautiful mind and they don’t.
The Hours: What is this movie even about? No one knows, it’s a mystery. And not a fun mystery like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (did we ever find out who did it?) or Who Shot Mr. Burns but more of a “What’s going on in this scene and where are the dinosaurs?” kind of mystery. We needed a scene where Virginia Woolf battles a dinosaur.
The Big Chill: Oh My Gosh, this movie needed soooo many dinosaurs that’s why I put in so many. In The Big Chill, your parents sit around and talk about their dead friend and their favorite music and their lives and there’s no dinosaurs anywhere. Thankfully, Jeff Golblum got his chance to star with dinosaurs many years later, probably to make up for the lack of dinosaurs in this movie.