The King’s Speech: The problem isn’t that The King suffers from just a stutter, he stutters because he is constantly followed by dinosaurs. Dinosaurs that only he can see! But the threat is the same.
Mean Girls: Everyone’s mean because there’s dinosaurs everywhere! And the worst part is that the dinosaurs think they rule the school. It’s up to Regina George and company to teach these dinosaurs some dinoDON’TS. It’s, like, the rules of feminism!
Chicago: With the help of a friendly triceratops, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly bust out of prison and onto the big stage in this musical about dinosaurs in the 1920s.
The Social Network: The CGI in this movie should not have been used for the Winklevoss twins, but for this handsome T. Rex instead. And maybe Mark Zuckerberg is being sued by dinosaurs instead of people. This brings a whole new element of man vs. nature, one that this movie didn’t expand enough upon. Also I would get rid of Justin Timberlake and replace him with a dinosaur.
American Beauty: In this version of American Beauty, dinosaurs just want to live in the suburbs and be like us. But they have problems too, like some of the dinosaur wives cheat on the dinosaur husbands and some of the dinosaurs film plastic bags, and then Kevin Spacey is eaten by a dinosaur and the roses bloom.
Juno: If Juno thought that being pregnant was a big deal, that’s nothing compared to the frequent dinosaur attacks. That hamburger phone isn’t nearly as delicious-looking as Juno is, and two seconds after this she’s going to turn around and be like, “Yikes! Lego my eggo and hit me baby one more time, that’s a big Rexie!” and then throw her phone at it. The dino would say, “RRRRAAAWWRRRGGHHH” and then Michael Cera would knock on the door and walk in and say, “Hey Guys, what’s up?”
The Queen: This movie was really long and had no dinosaurs in it at all. Not even one. It’s like the Royal Family doesn’t even care about dinosaurs.
A Beautiful Mind: In this version, dinosaurs are really good at math and are trying to compete for Best Math Guy with Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe decides to ignore the dinosaurs because he has a beautiful mind and they don’t.
The Hours: What is this movie even about? No one knows, it’s a mystery. And not a fun mystery like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (did we ever find out who did it?) or Who Shot Mr. Burns but more of a “What’s going on in this scene and where are the dinosaurs?” kind of mystery. We needed a scene where Virginia Woolf battles a dinosaur.
The Big Chill: Oh My Gosh, this movie needed soooo many dinosaurs that’s why I put in so many. In The Big Chill, your parents sit around and talk about their dead friend and their favorite music and their lives and there’s no dinosaurs anywhere. Thankfully, Jeff Golblum got his chance to star with dinosaurs many years later, probably to make up for the lack of dinosaurs in this movie.
All images from fanpop.com except for the velociraptor which is from here and the triceratops which is from here. All images were horribly but lovingly photoshopped by me.
hahahahah i’m dying laughing!!
I love you all. Hello Giggles has the most wonderful commenters!
hahahaha… The Royal Family are dinosaurs that’s why lol
I think nothing needs a little more dinosaur action than The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Or even better – the Time Traveler’s wife. The reason Henry has to time travel is to evade raptor attack. Sounds good to me.
Also, I’m dying at the photo under American Beauty.
rawr. perfection.
Please tell me this post was inspired by Tree of Life, which really didn’t need dinosaurs. Or maybe it just needed more.
ahahahahahahahahahah this is so funny. Def made my day!
This is great and I agree on all points. I’ve always thought figure skating could use a few dinosaurs as well. How much more exciting would a triple axel be with velociraptor nipping at the skater’s heels?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
is all I have to say to this
hahaha dinosaurs make everything better, I didn’t even know there was anything wrong with some of these movies until I realized they were missing dinosaurs! yay for extinct reptilians.
My work here is done.
What!?!? I didn’t know Almie was a columnist here! Anyway, best article ever.
HI BB!!
AH! I had forgotten all about The Hours until you reminded me. Damn you Apocalypstick! I guess now I can just remember it fondly and think of the dinasaurs. Thank you Apocalypstick!
I just… I love you. Excuse me, there’s something in my eye.
AAAAAAAAGH IT’S A VELOCIRAPTOR IN MY EYE
I love this!
My one and only childhood nightmare was looking out my window and finding a trex walking down the street. I have mixed feelings about those creatures.
I am a Twilight lover, as embarrassing as that is. But I truly think that the Twilight movies would be so much better if dinosaurs were thrown in the mix too. Vampires…werewolves…dinosaurs…the only thing that’s missing are unicorns and zombies.
OMG!! GOL! this was hilarious!!! Thank you thank you thank you! I am STILL laughing. The pictures crack me up! especially mean girls…his head just popping up in the middle. brilliant! LOL
I love this!
I roared with laughter from the King’s Speech pic alone!
The title alone made me literally laugh out VERY loud! I love all your posts miss. That really start my day off giggling:) thanks! xo