We’ve all been there. That moment when you finally gather the courage to text someone. Maybe it’s someone you know really well but you have something, er, touchy to say to them (which, let’s face it, you probably should say to them in person, but come on, you’re not going to). Maybe it’s someone you just met and want to hang out with but you’re afraid of rejection. Maybe it’s the person you only see for quick make-out sessions every few weeks and you know this text will imply that another meeting is, um, desired. We definitely live in a text-centric society, and, regardless of the person, when you’re sending a text that puts you out there or lets down your guard, it’s scary.
For me, I first spend at least 15 minutes drafting a carefully worded, spell-checked and grammar-checked (because yes, I actually care about my grammar when I text, whatever) message that does not seem too desperate/awkward/sensitive and will be sure to provoke a response. Then I stare at the unsent message, fighting myself about whether to hit “send.” If it’s a particularly ballsy text, I might delete it and re-type it a few times. I might not even send it at all. But all of this preparation is nothing compared to the moments that will follow once I have finally sent those precious words out into the abyss: the moments during which time slows down and I wait for a response.
You know what I’m talking about. Whether you’re waiting for a response to a simple “Hey what’s the math assignment for tomorrow?” or the more complicated “Are you up? Do you want to hang out?”, time always moves more slowly while you wait for the recipient to text you back. Here is the list of things that I should spend these agonizing minutes doing:
1. Reading a chapter of that book I started three and a half weeks ago and always stuff in my purse to take places but never actually read.
2. Re-reading the previous chapters of said book because I forgot what happened entirely.
3. Cleaning all of the hair off of my bathroom floor.
4. Sorting through all the junk emails from The Gap and Amazon.com in my email inbox.
5. Coming across a Gap coupon in one of those emails that I might possibly use sometime in the near future and then not deleting any of my emails because what if I end up needing them?
6. Drooling over all of the clothes from The Gap that I can’t afford, like that $85 dollar sweater I’m pretty sure I saw a replica of at GoodWill last week.
7. Making a playlist of songs I like to sing along to when I’m in the car by myself so that I don’t have to constantly select songs on my iPod while I’m driving.
…and so on. Here is the list of things that I actually do while waiting for a response:
1. Stare at my phone.
2. Check message inbox to make sure that I didn’t “miss” the text message arriving even though I’ve been staring at my phone the entire time.
Being the naturally anxious person that I am, this is something that I go through any time I send a text message that is outside of the realm of an inside joke text, an “I’ll meet you there” text, or a general “What’s up?” text. I hope I’m not alone in my neurotic texting behaviors, but again, because I am such an anxious weirdo, I assume that I am the only one who goes through this type of pain.
Then, a few ridiculously painful minutes (or hours, if the person I texted is a total dick) later, I receive a response. Depending on the message I receive, the episode of anxious texting may be over. Or, if a response from me is warranted, I may have to send another text, upon which the cycle begins all over again…
And if you just plain don’t text me back, well…that’s a story for another day.
You can read more from Madeline Allen on her blog.
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It’s happening right now!!! Lol
add another thing to do while waiting… Read the old hellogiggles posts I never got around to 
I not only do that, but I have to make myself wait until the amount of time the person took to text me back PLUS a few minutes (2 minutes if it was less than 5, 5 or more if it was more than 10) before I hit send. Because I don’t want to look desperate or over-eager. Hah.
100 % with you, I also find it makes it 10 x worse that you can’t see people’s reactions to your texts especially on ‘risky’ ones. I usually try and ‘hide’ my phone then go and watch a film or something but I always end up going back to check it every 10 minutes or so!
And if they do take F-O-R-E-V-E-R then how long should you wait? Is it bad to respond right away? Will they know you’ve been sitting by your phone waiting? Ahhhh texting is almost as stressful as leaving a voice message.
This is the story of my life. then letting yourself feel completely heartbroken when they don’t text back in a hour finally jumping with joy when thay do<<<<Thats the text cycle!
” Then, a few ridiculously painful minutes (or hours, if the person I texted is a total dick) later, I receive a response.” I feel that pain… The waaaaaaiiiitttinggggg
I literally started laughing because this most definitely me. HAHA. It’s good to know a lot of us are not alone!
THE GAP EMAILS! THEY GET ME EVERY TIME!
Yup. This is actually my life.
Oh. my. gosh. yes. My life. And my friend’s life. We just sat and texted about how this is our lives. And we were both very prompt responders!
This made me smile today. Just knowing I’m not the only anxious wierdo helped me feel less alone lol
I love your list of things you could be doing while waiting. I do 3-6 daily and think about doing the rest, also daily.
I can completely relate! I wonder if guys go through this too. I’m currently at a coffee shop and the guys behind me are talking about relationships. They seem nice enough….I should ask them…
I’m so glad I’m not the only one with this issue. I have this one friend who only texts me back 50% of the time, which leads to a lot of anxiety inducing waiting time.
I was literally JUST talking about this with my friend last night!! People who don’t promptly text back should know they’re just playing evil games with my nerves!
I’m with you 100%! Glad I’m not the only one!
I always say there needs to be a term for that time when your text is waiting out in space to be responded to.
Oh I know that feeling oh too well lol
Ugh I hate that too! Lately I’ve had many episodes of nervous text-sending and anxious waiting for reply… I find that if I just put my phone hidden behind my laptop screen I forget about it pretty quickly, out of sight out of mind!