There are plenty of highly complex and fun baking and knitting tips to come from Teen Granny (okay, maybe not that highly complex). But to begin with, I’m going to share my secret, super exclusive Top Ten Knitting tips. With these tips in your head and needles in your hands, you are all set to conquer the knitting world and who knows what else. (The crocheting world?)
1. Aim Low. You may have mastered the garter stitch, but you’re not going to be knitting things like this any time soon.
Keep your projects simple and your expectations low. Something like this will not only be a lot easier. It’s my first stab at a rabbit. It may not have arms but it’s a lot cuter than a car.
2. Don’t be afraid to show off your knitting needles. Wear them in your hair, sticking out your boots, poking out your bag or tucked into your belt buckle. This way you’ll be able to whip them out in a second and everyone will know you’re an awesome knitter.
3. Knit and Chat. There is no better way to keep your mind entertained during a boring conversation than knitting. Whenever your friends starts to moan about school or work or the weather and you feel your mind wandering, simply bring out the knitting and you’re all set. Except make sure you can knit without looking or else your friend may be a little offended.
4. Save up nearly finished projects until someone you want to impress comes over. This way you can casually finish your perfectly knitted jumper in front of them and they shall be in awe of your awesome skills forever. And don’t be afraid to flaunt your accomplishments. ‘Wow, Scarly, I love your hat!’ ‘Oh thanks, I knitted it myself!’ BOOM – you’re suddenly the coolest person they know.
5. Knitting to attract boys – there’s nothing sexier than a girl with a pair of knitting needles. So if you see a guy you like, make sure he walks past while you’re clicking those needles. Major turn on. And if you’re lucky, the boy in question will look something like this in your knitted jumper…
6. Match your knitting wool with your nail polish for uber stylish and glam knitting.
7. Never knit in hot weather. A sweaty pair of socks is not something you want to end up with. This also applies to knitting on the beach and knitting on the toilet…
8. Knitting in the cinema – This one’s a little trickier as onlookers may complain. But there is nothing more fun than settling down with some popcorn, a good movie and a pair of knitting needles. Keep your eyes straight ahead and make sure not to make direct eye contact with anyone.
9. Only knit tiny things that take no time at all to finish. That way when your friends are on row 2000 of their boring blankets, you can be like, ‘I finished 10 projects IN ONE DAY.’ Try these tiny bows if you’re looking for something super easy.
10. And finally – and most important of all – never let a dog near your knitting. This dog may look like an angel but trust me, she has ripped, unraveled and demolished more balls of yarn than you can possibly imagine.