Before you read this, I must warn you. I call myself teen granny. But I’m not actually a granny. I have never had a child who has also had a child. I have had no children. I am a childless 16-year-old girl from London.
I call myself Teen Granny because although I am 16, I spend most of my time doing things that you might expect your granny to do. Things like knitting and baking and not going out a lot. Not things like wearing dentures and not being able to work the TV.
10 facts about being a teen granny.
1. My hands are no longer hands. They are simply things that I hold my knitting needles in. If I’m not knitting, I’m baking. It’s a fact.
2. I once knitted for 14 hours straight. I drank 3 litres of Cherryade and halfway through, I forgot how to knit and started to cry. I wouldn’t recommend it.
3. My dog is my best friend – I know if I was truly taking my teen granny-ness to the full it would be my cat, but lets face it – dogs are way more interesting that cats. My dog can rip up a whole roll of toilet roll in 5 minutes flat. And my cat just sleeps all day. Our favourite game is spot the puppy. See below.
4. I think that craft can save your life. About a year and a half ago, I had an operation that went wrong and left me in a lot of pain. I can’t do much physically so I make up for it with the things I make. Making, baking and creating things can make you feel like an awesome person no matter how bad your feeling or how much ice cream you’ve eaten.
5. I once knitted Prince William. I was meant to knit the whole royal family but William was so hard, I gave up. So now it’s just me and him. Sometimes I pretend I’m Kate Middleton. Don’t tell anyone.
6. The best thing I have ever baked is Chocolate Chip Biscuits with Oreos inside. In England we say biscuits, not cookies. I will never say cookies. It just wouldn’t work.
7. They were so amazing everyone who tasted them fell immediately in love with me. Kind of. This included a very old Beagle who will not stop following me around.
8. If you want to be extremely popular – bake these biscuits. You can find the recipe here. Its really easy.
9. I watch way too much TV. And way too many movies. This is because TV and movies are just better than people. Especially Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal.
10. Everything I knit or bake is tiny and easy (except William – that was a mistake) so if you have a short attention span like me, I think we are going to get on very well.
The tales of a teen granny do not include a lot parties, travel or maths homework. They include a lot of wool, cakes shaped like boobs, tiny rabbits, flour and baking at 3 am. But I think you will like them. See you next week.