Tales of a Teen Granny Part 1

Before you read this, I must warn you. I call myself teen granny. But I’m not actually a granny. I have never had a child who has also had a child. I have had no children. I am a childless 16-year-old girl from London.

I call myself Teen Granny because although I am 16, I spend most of my time doing things that you might expect your granny to do. Things like knitting and baking and not going out a lot. Not things like wearing dentures and not being able to work the TV.

10 facts about being a teen granny.

1. My hands are no longer hands. They are simply things that I hold my knitting needles in. If I’m not knitting, I’m baking. It’s a fact.

2. I once knitted for 14 hours straight. I drank 3 litres of Cherryade and halfway through, I forgot how to knit and started to cry. I wouldn’t recommend it.

3. My dog is my best friend – I know if I was truly taking my teen granny-ness to the full it would be my cat, but lets face it – dogs are way more interesting that cats. My dog can rip up a whole roll of toilet roll in 5 minutes flat. And my cat just sleeps all day. Our favourite game is spot the puppy. See below.

4. I think that craft can save your life. About a year and a half ago, I had an operation that went wrong and left me in a lot of pain. I can’t do much physically so I make up for it with the things I make. Making, baking and creating things can make you feel like an awesome person no matter how bad your feeling or how much ice cream you’ve eaten.

 5.  I once knitted Prince William. I was meant to knit the whole royal family but William was so hard, I gave up. So now it’s just me and him. Sometimes I pretend I’m Kate Middleton. Don’t tell anyone.

6. The best thing I have ever baked is Chocolate Chip Biscuits with Oreos inside. In England we say biscuits, not cookies. I will never say cookies. It just wouldn’t work.

Photo of Chocolate Chip Oreo Biscuit

7. They were so amazing everyone who tasted them fell immediately in love with me. Kind of. This included a very old Beagle who will not stop following me around.

8. If you want to be extremely popular – bake these biscuits. You can find the recipe here. Its really easy.

9. I watch way too much TV. And way too many movies. This is because TV and movies are just better than people. Especially Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal. 

10. Everything I knit or bake is tiny and easy (except William – that was a mistake) so if you have a short attention span like me, I think we are going to get on very well.

The tales of a teen granny do not include a lot parties, travel or maths homework. They include a lot of wool, cakes shaped like boobs, tiny rabbits, flour and baking at 3 am. But I think  you will like them. See you next week.

Love, Scarlett.

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