Tales of a Teen Granny Part 1Scarlett Curtis

Before you read this, I must warn you. I call myself teen granny. But I’m not actually a granny. I have never had a child who has also had a child. I have had no children. I am a childless 16-year-old girl from London.

I call myself Teen Granny because although I am 16, I spend most of my time doing things that you might expect your granny to do. Things like knitting and baking and not going out a lot. Not things like wearing dentures and not being able to work the TV.

10 facts about being a teen granny.

1. My hands are no longer hands. They are simply things that I hold my knitting needles in. If I’m not knitting, I’m baking. It’s a fact.

2. I once knitted for 14 hours straight. I drank 3 litres of Cherryade and halfway through, I forgot how to knit and started to cry. I wouldn’t recommend it.

3. My dog is my best friend – I know if I was truly taking my teen granny-ness to the full it would be my cat, but lets face it – dogs are way more interesting that cats. My dog can rip up a whole roll of toilet roll in 5 minutes flat. And my cat just sleeps all day. Our favourite game is spot the puppy. See below.

4. I think that craft can save your life. About a year and a half ago, I had an operation that went wrong and left me in a lot of pain. I can’t do much physically so I make up for it with the things I make. Making, baking and creating things can make you feel like an awesome person no matter how bad your feeling or how much ice cream you’ve eaten.

 5.  I once knitted Prince William. I was meant to knit the whole royal family but William was so hard, I gave up. So now it’s just me and him. Sometimes I pretend I’m Kate Middleton. Don’t tell anyone.

6. The best thing I have ever baked is Chocolate Chip Biscuits with Oreos inside. In England we say biscuits, not cookies. I will never say cookies. It just wouldn’t work.

Photo of Chocolate Chip Oreo Biscuit

7. They were so amazing everyone who tasted them fell immediately in love with me. Kind of. This included a very old Beagle who will not stop following me around.

8. If you want to be extremely popular – bake these biscuits. You can find the recipe here. Its really easy.

9. I watch way too much TV. And way too many movies. This is because TV and movies are just better than people. Especially Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal. 

10. Everything I knit or bake is tiny and easy (except William – that was a mistake) so if you have a short attention span like me, I think we are going to get on very well.

The tales of a teen granny do not include a lot parties, travel or maths homework. They include a lot of wool, cakes shaped like boobs, tiny rabbits, flour and baking at 3 am. But I think  you will like them. See you next week.

Love, Scarlett.

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  1. God, we are so alike it’s scary-cool! I was exactly like that at 16… and still am at 20. Keep rockin’ that granny pride! ♥

  2. I wish I was as cool as you at 16!! Cool = doing the things that make you happy, not the things that you’re “supposed” to be doing at any certain age. Excited for more from Teen Granny.

  3. Goodness me, yes! Let’s be teen grandma best friends! :D

  4. i think we should be bffs. except for the fact that I don’t knit… I tried making a sweater for my dog, but I ended up with a tube-sock thing. not good. :)

  5. This is me! except I crochet very small amigurami animals from japanese pattern books. I spent two years on crutches and am still slightly mangled, so learning to read crochet patterns in Japanese seemed like a totally logical thing to do (:
    I also crochet rugs, which is probably about as grannyish as you can get
    And in Australia we also say biscuits. Cookies is wrong, except when referring to the cookie monster – than its OK

  6. All of my friends call me an old lady. LOVE THIS.

  7. ALLY MCBEAL! I have been obsessively watching this on Netflix, and I’m almost through the last season. This article is wonderful.

  8. I loved this. Can’t wait to bake the biscuits/cookies!

  9. i am glad i’m not the only granny who’s crafting saved their lives. i knit, sew, bake, paint, and do anything that involves the hands.

  10. You are fabulous. I too am a granny of sorts, and it makes me so super happy that there are other lovely people who can revel in their granny-ness!!!

  11. Haha, I think I love you.

  12. Ha! I was a teen granny too. I taught myself to knit when I was 17, baking since I learned how to work the oven. I made my own prom dress (don’t know if you have that in the UK). I am pretty much a domestic diva…apart from the times that I accidentally melt things and ruin my microwave. Gone through 2 now, you would think I would have learned my lesson.

  13. this was me at 16. not much has changed in four years, except now i have more time to bake because i go to uni,its the life :)

  14. I don’t knit, but I love to sew (cross-stitch and it is fun to make things, only the things I make tend to take upwards of 100 hours and I honestly do not know where I get the patience from sometimes. I’d like to bake more but the oven at the place i’m living in right now is crap. :( Those bikkies look delicious (and very fattening). ;)