Tales From My HinJew Parents

Tales From My HinJew Parents: (Basically) Jewish Mothers

Anyone who has talked to me for more than five minutes knows that I’m a Jewthusiast – you know, a Jew enthusiast. My best friend thinks it’s a by-product of the fact that I work in entertainment, an industry filled with lovely Jewish men. My college roommate swears it’s because she made the best challah bread in the world (she did). But I know what it really is: my mom.

To be clear, my mom isn’t actually Jewish… but she might as well be. If we’re the type of people who believe in stereotypes, my mom fits the bill to a T. According to Wikipedia and all of my Jewish friends, the intrinsic Jewish mom qualities include: overprotectiveness (not a real word), nagging and persistent interference in her children’s lives long after they have become adults. Unfortunately for my mom, she’s batting three for three. Despite the fact that I just turned 25, these are texts that she’s sent me in the last week:

Don’t forget to text me when you get to your apartment! (20 minutes later) Did you reach yet?

Beejoli! Don’t text and drive! (It should be noted that she texted this to me while she was driving.)

In this current stressful time with work and your grandmother’s health, it’s important we each take care of our to-do’s! So please get your eye appointment scheduled ASAP.

Did you take Mucinex for your cold? Did you take your Z-Pac? Why aren’t you answering my texts?!

I’m not sure how eye appointments correlate to stress, why my mom is managing my antibiotic regimen from 37 miles away or why she forced me to sign Oprah’s anti-texting and driving pledge, but despite all of this, I actually like that she fits into the stereotype. Even though it drives me crazy that she is constantly reminding to do things like pay my credit card bill, hang my laundryand shower on a regular basis, let’s be honest – if she didn’t stay on top of me it wouldn’t get done.

Plus, if we’re really being honest, these are some of the texts I’ve sent her in the last few months:

My car is making a rattling noise, but I only hear it when the radio is off. That’s not a big deal, right?

Do you think you can make an appointment at the pediatrician for me? I have a bad cold and don’t want my doctor to make fun of me.

What’s the best way to get super glue out of my hair?

She might be a little neurotic, a little pushy, and an overuser of exclamation points in text messages, but I haven’t given her reason to not continue mothering me either – and all jokes aside, she’s totally my number one BFF.

Plus, for an Indian woman, she’s definitely the best Jewish mother I’ve ever met.